“Hellooo!” Echo: Hello!

     Drip. Echo: Drip.

     David’s hands frantically searched the slick cave floor until they grasped his glasses. He wiped the grime off on his blue jeans and put his glasses on. “Hello!”

     He trembled because his thick glasses did not help him see any clearer through this darkness, then tugged on the rope to confirm his ticket out was still valid. It wasn’t: the rope fell limp, the knot knocking him square on his bony head. He jumped up and dizziness took him. “Carl, the rope fell!” he screamed, and heard…

     Laughter from above.

     Suddenly, David felt very foolish, very alone, and very scared. “No girl fell in here.” he muttered.

     “You dunce!” Carl hollered from above. David could just picture Carl doing the dance of joy. “I wish I could see your face right now!” Carl continued from above, guffawing at the end.

     Something wet and slick scurried across David’s leg—perhaps a salamander, only bigger, denser. David shivered, averting his eyes from the ground.

     “Why?” David whined, hugging himself, thanking God Cheryl wasn’t here.

     “You really don’t know, do you? I told her this wasn’t necessary. But, women, once they nag you, they won’t stop until you get the job done. And, Davy boy, you haven’t been gettin’ the job done—know what-I-mean?”

     “Cheryl? No!”

     “Yeah, buddy! She’s the one who cooked up this whole boys’ out weekend. Dude, I’ve been bangin’ her for the past three months.”

     “NO!” David yelled.

     “YEEEESSSS!” came the gleeful response from above. Something wet streamed down on his head. David wiped his hair and brought his fingers to his nose. “Piss?”

     “That’s from Cheryl. Just givin’ back what she’s been gettin’.  She said you’ve been pissin’ on her for the past couple of years, not treating her the way a queen’s supposed to be treated: same boring job, same boring life—day in and day out. Sometimes, a broad needs something different! Man, I wish she could see your face right now!”

     Again, the slithery thing caressed David’s foot, tentatively. David didn’t care anymore. His fingernails dug into his palms, and he pounded and pounded his fists against the cave wall. “You bastards!” he screamed over and over again.

     “Actually, I’m a bastard. Cheryl’s a bitch!” Carl yelled. “Well, this’s been fun. But, though this is a pretty desolate area, I’ve seen enough movies to know when I should jet. Oh, and Dave, when you’re alone tonight, and the darkness creeps up on you, and the air starts to run out, just know that at that exact time, I’ll be knockin’ boots with your wife. Peace, out!”

     “Carl! Please!”

     Something big rolled along the ground above, getting closer and closer, until, suddenly, a dark sphere hovered over the hole from above, and then, CRASH!

     Utter Darkness. Silence, then...Drip! Drip!

     “Carl!”

     David continued banging his fists against the wall to escape his hovering psychosis. When his hands began to feel numb, he used his feet, kicking off his shoes and slamming his toes into the rough rock wall until he could not stand any more. Blood streamed from his fists and toes. Water trickled in the distance, having almost a hypnotic effect on him. He cried, cried so hard he began to hiccup. Then, when you’re alone, scared, and begin to regress, you do what always feels safe: David dropped to the ground, brought his knees to his chin, and closed his eyes.

#

     To kisses—soft, gentle, wet kisses—David yawned and opened his eyes.

     “Augh!” he screamed as four red eye slits greeted him. Thick, rough tongues continued licking his hands. David scurried away until his back slammed into the jagged wall.

     “Pleeze?” said two identical, phosphorescent-green creatures, the size of komodo dragons but with slick skin like a salamander’s, in unison.

     “Y-you can talk.” David stuttered.

     “Pleeze!” they hissed again.

     Then only one spoke: “Red. Yes, we need red to be fed. Up-above man called us. Twice, he did. Feed we must.”

     “Feed to make true, we do.” the other added.

     David was dumbfounded. The stabbing pains in his hands and feet began to sting, and then tingle. He brought his fists to his face and opened them. “Incredible.” The creatures had licked away the blood and somehow, had healed his wounds.

     “More!” one said.

     “We needs more, pleeze!” they begged.

     They slithered and hissed and wrapped themselves together, continuing their weird speech and rhymes.     “Called us twice…need to feed."

     Epiphany!

     But David needed to make sure. “Why didn’t you feed on me?” he asked them.

     They stopped playing and looked his way. Their eyes burned brightly, as if it were their way of communicating, then, “Two we need. One we must share—two, yes, two are fair.”

     That was all David needed.

#

     “Are you ready, baby, I'm gonna c—”

     “AH!” Cheryl screamed.

     “What the f—?” Carl gasped, looking around.

     “Hey, guys!” David bellowed from above. He shone a flashlight down on the two lovers now trapped in the abandoned well. He waved it back and forth. “Havin’ fun?”

     Their naked bodies slithered away from the light. David smirked at their bewilderment. “Looks like you got your two wishes, Carl.” Carl grimaced in confusion; then, as if clarity had seeped in, he pushed Cheryl away and began scraping the wall. “Wanna know what my wish was? I'll give you two hints.” Dave continued, then disappeared.

     “Dave! It was her idea, man! You know how she is!” Carl begged.

     David rolled the boulder toward the hole, paused, and smiled as the echoing sound of screams dwindled, only to be replaced by crunching, slurping, rhyming, and burping. One more push of the boulder, and Dave was single again.

End