Ucu, Ucamar, Ucamar-zupai—
and skookum booger.
You betcha I’m hairy. Cuckoo too.
Have a banana; see ya maņana.
I got better things to do than cool
my thews and hang with you.
The Argentina/Bolivia border
is my scene. Up in the mountains
away from you hairless human goons,
Trick out yer own man cave
with sixty-inch flat screen TV.
Leave me to enjoy the
Take all the plaster footprint
ya want. Scoop my poop into a
Just leave. Hasta la vista,
I’m cuckoo crazy over ya, honey.
Prefer real salad to soiled money.
You stink of the stuff! You
Take yer Gortex, fancy fanny pack,
new improved hikin’ shoes, and vamoose!
Scoot down the scree. Get
Here’s my anal asterisk, honey.
Try trappin’ a cryptid fart
in plastic for posterity!
Break it into molecules, fool.
I hope my poop, nice and gooey,
taxes yer tired taxonomy.
firstname.lastname@example.org, wrote BP #76’s poems, “Honey Island
Swamp Monster,” “Skin Walker,” and “Ucu.” From a series called Cryptid Shindig, the poems from this
collection concern cryptid encounters, ET lore, or unexplained phenomena;
others have appeared in three published volumes in the series: Why Were All the
Werewolves Men? (Thistledown
Press, 1994), Nothing Definite Yeti (Ekstasis
Editions, 1999), Take Me to Your Leader!
(Bayeux Arts Inc., 2003), and in a New & Selected volume called Bigfoot Boogie.
Just retired from a
thirty-year gig teaching English and Creative Writing at Lethbridge College, the
published thirty books in that time, counting a forthcoming volume. His
most-recently published books are haikai poetry collections: Fruit Wedge
Moon (Hidden Brook Press, 2015) and The
Heiligen Effect (Ekstasis Editions, 2015).