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David Erlewine
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The Widower

 

David Erlewine

 

 

     This morning, glaring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I shake my head.  A few minutes later, in the reflection of the refrigerator, I think "pathetic".  After my oatmeal, sitting in the living room, I whisper "schmuck."  Later, I chomp my teeth together, again and again, until my jaws hurt.   

     The rest of the morning is spent trying not to touch myself, running the numbers again, waiting.  I call my broker and learn he’s in another important meeting. 

 

     I’m too excited to even think about lunch. 

     At 1:03 Mistress Sablina lets herself in with a key.  Her high heels click and clack on the wood stairs.  She finds me in the guest bedroom, cowering.  "Good old bitch."  She stands over me, letting me sniff her ass.  Then she runs her fingers across my creased face.  "Little pig, give me an oink." 

     I say "Oink", nowhere near loudly enough, thinking of Ned Beatty. 

     "Louder!" 

     "Oink!" 

     She slaps my face and buries my face in her crotch.  She hooks a yellow extension cord around my neck and drags me across the room. 

 

     In the hallway, my skin burning on the hardwood floor, I spot my wife’s portrait.  I close my eyes.  I don’t need to see her see this woman, younger than our daughter, doing this. 

     Mistress Sablina arranges it so that my head is hanging over the top step, the rest of my fat body writhing on the hallway floor.  She bounces on my face, slamming the back of my head against the second step.  I breathe her in, memorizing everything I can.

 

     A few minutes later, after we’re downstairs, she says, "did you get that home equity loan?" 


     I shake my head.  "The current LTV ratios are obscene."  

 

     "It’s been a good run, these past three weeks."  I nod.  She takes a step and then wheels around.  "You've earned a freebie, old- timer."  She pushes me to the floor and spills orange juice all over me.  Then she sticks four of her toes in my mouth until I gag.  She takes out a huge dildo and does things to me while yelling "Welfare bitch!" and "Ghetto trash!"  

 

     When it’s over, I lay, nearly broken, on the tiled kitchen floor.  She leaves after giving my forehead a quick kiss. 

 

     Later, I stagger into the living room and collapse on the couch.  

 

     The next morning, broke and hopefully not still bleeding, I nod as I pass my wife’s portrait.  I hold her gaze as long as I can. 

 

 

 

 

David Erlewine lives outside Annapolis with his wife and kids.  He writes on the train and when he should be asleep.  His stories appeared or soon will appear in approximately 60 places, including Black Heart Magazine, The Pedestal, Flashshot, Elimae, Calliope, Word Riot, Right Hand Pointing, and Outsider Ink.

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