Black Petals Issue #96, Summer, 2021

Megamouth Has Cavities
Editor's Page
BP Artists' Page
BP Guidelines
Mars-News, Views and Commentary
Dark Resurrection-Fiction by Michael Hopkins
A Dip in the Pool-Fiction by Hillary Lyon
Far Down in the Credits-Fiction by Roy Dorman
Guilt Trip-Fiction by James Flynn
Ky'thagra's Big Day-Fiction by Devin Marcus
Larger Prey-Fiction by Richard Brown
Lover-Fiction by N. G. Leonetti
Sail Away-Fiction by Chris Allyne
Sleeping Again-Fiction by Russ Bickerstaff
The Poison Doorway-Fiction by Dionosio Traverso Jr.
The Tick Bite-Fiction by Robb T. White
Bake Sale Inspiration-Flash Fiction by Samantha Carr
Hotel with Full Amenities-Flash Fiction by William Kitcher
Reincarnation Jeopardy-Flash Fiction by Kenneth James Crist
Sex Fiend-Flash Fiction by Karen Bayly
Witches' Sabbath-Poem by Mike Collins
Blood-Poem by Mike Collins
Death's Pornography-Poem by Mike Collins
Temptation-Poem by Mike Collins
Painting Light-Poem by Mike Collins
Dark Waltz-Poem by Marilyn Lou Berry
The Last Victim of Vlad the Impaler-Poem by Mehmet Akgonul
The Bravest Ant-Poem by Mehmet Akgonul
Ain't Alien Spores-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Giant Goldfish-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Igopogo-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Megamouth Has Cavities-Poem by Richard Stevenson

Megamouth Has Cavities


Richard Stevenson



has mega cavities!

Needs a dentist now!


Owww! he’d groan

if he could groan.

Take the whole front row!


I’ve got others.

Can’t afford false teeth:

don’t have any dough.


Hell, I’ll take stainless steel.

Don’t need pearly whites:

they’re just gonna get re-stained!


If megamouth could utter anything,

he’d sure have a lot to say

about the eons his kind’s been around.


Might even agree to brush

after every meal, if he could

find a big enough brush.


Tell you what.  I won’t eat you

if you could just find a hydrant-sized

syringe and enough anaesthetic.


You could just jackhammer out the duds,

install new posts.  Maybe make a bridge

big enough to cross a river.  That’d work!


If he had a tin grin

he could earn his grits

by smilin’ for selfies all day!


He’d bob for apples – a treeful maybe.

But what the heck.  Truth is he’s probably

sick of fish and homo s kebabs.

We could use a disc sander maybe –

Fill the holes with polyfill or

give ‘im steel dentures even.

Would he smile then?

Or just open wide 

and swallow us whole?


Richard Stevenson retired after a thirty-year teaching stint at Lethbridge College and now lives in Nanaimo, BC.  Forthcoming books include a trilogy, Cryptid Shindig, from Hidden Brook Press ( including the volumes If a Dolphin Had Digits, Nightcrawlers, and Radioactive Frogs); a standalone collection, An Abominable Swamp Slob Named Bob, from Altered Reality Press; and collection of haikai and lyric poems for younger kids, Action Dachshund! (from Ekstasis Editions).  He’s hoping to put another edition of his poetry/rock troupe, Sasquatch, together when Covid takes a bow and we can have live music again.

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