Black Petals Issue #96, Summer, 2021

Megamouth Has Cavities
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Sex Fiend-Flash Fiction by Karen Bayly
Witches' Sabbath-Poem by Mike Collins
Blood-Poem by Mike Collins
Death's Pornography-Poem by Mike Collins
Temptation-Poem by Mike Collins
Painting Light-Poem by Mike Collins
Dark Waltz-Poem by Marilyn Lou Berry
The Last Victim of Vlad the Impaler-Poem by Mehmet Akgonul
The Bravest Ant-Poem by Mehmet Akgonul
Ain't Alien Spores-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Giant Goldfish-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Igopogo-Poem by Richard Stevenson
Megamouth Has Cavities-Poem by Richard Stevenson

Megamouth Has Cavities

 

Richard Stevenson

 

Megamouth

has mega cavities!

Needs a dentist now!

 

Owww! he’d groan

if he could groan.

Take the whole front row!

 

I’ve got others.

Can’t afford false teeth:

don’t have any dough.

 

Hell, I’ll take stainless steel.

Don’t need pearly whites:

they’re just gonna get re-stained!

 

If megamouth could utter anything,

he’d sure have a lot to say

about the eons his kind’s been around.

 

Might even agree to brush

after every meal, if he could

find a big enough brush.

 

Tell you what.  I won’t eat you

if you could just find a hydrant-sized

syringe and enough anaesthetic.

 

You could just jackhammer out the duds,

install new posts.  Maybe make a bridge

big enough to cross a river.  That’d work!

 

If he had a tin grin

he could earn his grits

by smilin’ for selfies all day!

 

He’d bob for apples – a treeful maybe.

But what the heck.  Truth is he’s probably

sick of fish and homo s kebabs.

We could use a disc sander maybe –

Fill the holes with polyfill or

give ‘im steel dentures even.

Would he smile then?

Or just open wide 

and swallow us whole?



 

Richard Stevenson retired after a thirty-year teaching stint at Lethbridge College and now lives in Nanaimo, BC.  Forthcoming books include a trilogy, Cryptid Shindig, from Hidden Brook Press ( including the volumes If a Dolphin Had Digits, Nightcrawlers, and Radioactive Frogs); a standalone collection, An Abominable Swamp Slob Named Bob, from Altered Reality Press; and collection of haikai and lyric poems for younger kids, Action Dachshund! (from Ekstasis Editions).  He’s hoping to put another edition of his poetry/rock troupe, Sasquatch, together when Covid takes a bow and we can have live music again.

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