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85_ym_pendletonproducts_mddavis.jpg
Art by Michael D. Davis 2021

Pendelton Products, Inc.

 

By Michael Dority

 

 

 

Sun 6/3/2017 4:18 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Issue

To: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Support team,

 

I bought ur new product last week and got it today in the mail. Sorry but I seem to be having some trouble adjusting it. Can u help me out?

 

TY,

Roger

 

***

 

Mon 6/3/2017 6:20 PM

From: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Re: Issue

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Thank you so much for contacting us with your concerns. We at Pendelton Products, Inc. pride ourselves on our exemplary service.

 

Our apologies for not responding more promptly to your e-mail. Unfortunately, our Customer Service department is closed on Sunday.

 

Our business hours are M-F, 9:00am to 5:00pm. Rest assured, we will work with you to resolve any issues you may have during our normal hours of operation.

 

First, we’d like to clarify your request. What product did you order from us?

 

Fondest Regards,

Customer Service

 

***

 

Mon 6/3/2017 7:02 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Issue

To: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support team,

 

I got ur fuel economizer and cant adjust it.

 

TY,

Roger

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 12:01 PM

From: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Thank you for your response.

 

Unfortunately, we need a little more information to process your request.

 

We sell more than one model of our Fuel Economizer. What is the model number on the product nameplate?

 

Fondest Regards,

Customer Service

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 12:29 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support team,

 

Theirs a sticker on it with 2 numbers. The first 1 is DX29. The other 1 is 1543.

 

Does that help?

 

L8R,

Roger

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 1:47 PM

From: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Thank you for your response.

 

Yes, that is very helpful information. DX29 is the product’s model number and 1543 is the part number.

 

Now we are getting somewhere.

 

Detailed procedures to adjust this unit can be found in the installation instructions provided with the equipment. In this case, please refer to steps 3a through 5c to adjust the unit.

 

Make sure you perform these steps as written, and in the order listed.

 

If you have any further issues with the DX29 Fuel Economizer, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

 

Have a wonderful day!

 

Fondest Regards,

Customer Service

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 2:16 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Support,

 

Yeah, I know the instructions are in the box. Which I read and followed.

 

But the steps u wrote dont work.

 

Now Im getting the hang of this. Ill tell u just what the problem is b4 u ask.

 

Step 3 tells me to install the adjustment cam on top of the air intake. Did that.

 

Step 4 sez to turn the top of the unit so I can get to the screw to adjust it. NP.

 

Im supposed to turn the screw till I C the red line centered in the viewing window in step 5a. Check.

 

Step 5b sez to turn the top back to where it was before. Fine.

 

But then it sez in step 5c to check the window again to “confirm proper alignment,” but the red line is gone!

 

I tried to c in between the top and bottom of the unit, but I cant seem to make out what Im adjusting. Squinting at it through the viewing window with a flashlight, I can make out some kinda round plate. Looks like the red line is marked on the edge of it.

 

Should the plate move with the top? If so, how come the screw is on the bottom?

 

HELP Im confused!

Roger

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 4:03 PM

From: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Thank you for your response.

 

Due to the complexity of your issue, your trouble ticket has been escalated and reassigned to the Customer Service Manager. He will contact you shortly.

 

Fondest Regards,

Customer Service

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 4:15 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Issue

To: support@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Can u tell him to hurry up?

 

This is my day off and its almost over. This thing is half installed on my car and I dont know how to safely uninstall it.

 

I gotta be at work by 8am tomorrow on the other side of town but cant drive my ride like it is now.

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 4:46 PM

From: support.mgr@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Case #122

To: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Thank you for your response.

 

I’m sorry you’re having so much difficulty installing our product. I have made an extra effort to reply to your e-mail before leaving the office for the day. I am confident your vehicle will be running better than ever tomorrow morning on your way to work, with our product saving you gas money with every mile you drive.

 

Our patented Model DX29 Fuel Economizer is one of the finest currently available on the market. We stand by it 100% and have many satisfied customers who swear by it.

 

The unit you purchased is somewhat complex, in that it is electromechanical, rather than simply mechanical in its operation.

 

In short, it consists of two sub-assemblies: the adjustment cam and exhaust converter.

 

The specially patented electro-plated engine compartment adjustment cam includes a lower mounting base and upper body. This cam is used in conjunction with the signal from the vehicle’s oxygen (O2) sensor to properly adjust the unit. The electrical connection to the external exhaust converter enables the cam for optimal exhaust flow during equipment operation.

 

Have you connected the unit to the O2 sensor on your vehicle?

 

If not please do so, as this is your problem.

 

Thanks for purchasing our great product. Please let me know what kind of mileage you get after your Fuel Economizer has been correctly installed.

 

If you would like to leave a testimonial on our webpage (http://Pendeltonproducts/reviews.com) you will be eligible to receive a discount of up to 10% on your next purchase.

 

Regards,

Jon: Customer Service Manager

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 5:01 PM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Case #122

To: support.mgr@Pendeltonproducts.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Huh?. FFS!...

 

Theirs NO goddam step in ur instructions to hook this thing up to an O2 sensor. Which O2 sensor? My frickin’ car has 4!

 

I need answers RN!

 

***

 

Mon 6/4/2017 5:02 PM

From: Noreply@Pendeltonproducts.com

Subject: Re: Re: Case #122

To: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Valued Customer,

 

Our apologies for not responding immediately to your e-mail. Unfortunately, our Customer Service department is closed for the day.

 

Our business hours are M-F, 9:00am to 5:00pm. Rest assured, we will work with you to resolve any issues you may have during our normal hours of operation.

 

A Customer Service representative will respond to your e-mail tomorrow morning in the order in which it was received.

 

Fondest Regards,

Customer Service

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 8:02 AM

From: John Pendelton <PenProCEO@yahoo.com>

Subject: REPORT ABUSE

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

You tried to recall this message on Tuesday 6/5/2017 9:58 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mr. DeCastro,

 

Your e-mail of yesterday afternoon has been forwarded to me as harassing correspondence.

 

I simply cannot subject my staff to such abuse. As a mature adult, you ought to know better.

 

But because I am the better man, I will answer your question: attach the wiring on the unit to the O2 sensor located on the exhaust manifold on the driver’s side of the vehicle. Start your engine and make the indicated adjustments per the installation instructions.

 

Then your unit will function as advertised. I should know; I designed it.

 

Good day, sir!

Sent from my iPhone




Mr. John Pendelton: President/CEO

1200 Fairview Way

Boca Raton, FL

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 8:30 AM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: REPORT ABUSE

To: John Pendelton <PenProCEO@yahoo.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Really, John. FOR REAL?...

 

So ur the bigger man, eh? STFU!

 

FYI, I just connected ur “great product” to the O2 sensor u told me to on my engine. Ur “specially patented electro-plated engine compartment adjustment cam” flew off it’s mounting plate and sliced the side of my radiator hose. Ur lucky it wasn’t my finger, ya putz!...

 

…Then the engine cut off and the check engine light came on.

 

Because of u and this stupid piece of SH--, Ive got to get my ride towed to the mechanic to get this crazy alienware ripped out of my car and a new radiator hose! Maybe then, if Im LUCKY, the engine light will go off. Im not feeling lucky. TFN!

 

SAY, I just read back over this email thread and something about it seems bogus.

 

Tell me, Mr. John Pendelton…How many people work for Pendelton Products Inc? Is it just u? RU posing as president, ceo, customer service manager and his whole f--ing staff of ignorant phonies?

 

Did u make this useless piece of crap out of old kitchen parts on a workbench in ur garage?

 

Have u even installed this loser of a so-called “product” on ur own car?

 

Ur a liar and a crook, thats what UR!

 

--WTF?...Now theirs smoke!

 

U lousy SOB, u better hope I dont lose my job over this. Ill hitchhike down their and kick ur sorry A$$!

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 9:11 AM

From: John Pendelton <PenProCEO@yahoo.com>

Subject: Re: Re: REPORT ABUSE

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

 You tried to recall this message on Tuesday 6/5/2017 9:59 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------…So I’m a liar, huh? And a FRAUD too, you claim?

 

I’ll tell you what, bub! I haven’t had the time, what with running a reputable business and all, to install the DX29 on my Mercedes.

 

But I’m heading for the driveway parking lot to install it right now!

 

Then we’ll see who’s laughing, and to HELL with you!

 

ACCEPT EDITS?

*SENT WITHOUT CHANGES*

Sent from my iPhone

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 10:57 AM

From: Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Re: REPORT ABUSE

To: John Pendelton <PenProCEO@yahoo.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Got busy trying to cover ur tracks, I C…

 

HAHA, Im LMAO thats who! What a dumbass!

 

I here repairs are expiiinsive at the Mercedes dealership.

 

Enjoy ur f--ing repair bill mutha f--er!

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 11:06 AM

From: John Pendelton <PenProCEO@yahoo.com>

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: REPORT ABUSE

To: Roger DeCastro rdecastro@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sent from my iPhone

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 11:07 AM

From: AUTORESPONSE@mailserver.com

To: John Pendelton <CEO@Pendeltonproducts.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*SENDER [Roger DeCastro <rdecastro@gmail.com>] HAS BEEN BLOCKED*

 

***

 

Tue 6/5/2017 11:21 AM

From: John Pendelton <CEO@Pendeltonproducts.com>

Subject: Hi Mom!

To: Mitzi Pendelton <mPendelton@hotmail.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Momma,

 

Long time no see! I’ve been thinking about heading up to Mickeytown to visit with you for a few days. How about a trip to EPCOT, my treat?

 

You know what they say, ‘All work and no play….’

 

Is this a good time?

 

I need to get away.

 

Will you come pick me up?

 

…Oh, and can you please leave right away? I’ll explain when you get here.

 

OOOXXX,

Your Johnny Boy

 

Michael W. Dority was born in Linton, Indiana in 1958, son of a Protestant minister and housewife, both survivors of the Great Depression. He moved to Florida at the age of nine and now resides in a suburb of Orlando. He obtained a degree in Computer Science and eventually chose technical writing as a vocation. Or did it choose him? He doesn’t know.

 

Mr. Dority wrote his first work of fiction when he was 10 years old and has sporadically dabbled in the genre of science fiction for the past 30 years.

 

His literary achievements include editing an anthology, a not inconsiderable feat he accomplished in 2018.

 

Mr. Dority has recently had the following stories accepted for publication in the indicated ezines:

  • “The Disposary,” Aphelion (December 2020 issue)

  • “The Opal Ring,” Black Petals (January 2020 issue)

  • “The Old Hipster,” Schlock (February 2020 issue)

  • “Heaven’s Black Top Hat,” Schlock (March 2020 issue)

 

His ambition is to one day write good poetry. (He insists all previous attempts at rhyme have ended in catastrophe.)

 

Mr. Dority is not particularly optimistic about his chances of realizing this literary goal.



If Charles Addams, Edgar Allan Poe, and Willy Wonka sired a bastard child it would be the fat asthmatic by the name of Michael D. Davis. He has been called warped by dear friends and a freak by passing strangers. Michael started drawing cartoons when he was ten, and his skill has improved with his humor, which isn’t saying much. He is for the most part self-taught, only ever crediting the help of one great high school art teacher. His art has been shown at his local library for multiple years only during October due to its macabre nature. If you want to see more of Michael’s strange, odd, weird, cartoons you can follow him on Instagram at mad_hatters_mania.

In Association with Black Petals & Fossil Publications 2021