Kenneth James Crist
I made a lot of
mistakes with Janey. First of all, getting involved with someone so young was
not a smart thing to do. Not that she’s all that young, but I’m really old. So,
the age difference kinda doomed the relationship right from the start. That,
coupled with the fact that the whole thing was based on sex…well, you get the
Janey was always
promiscuous. I knew it when I met her. She’d been tending bar down at the Legion
post where I went all the time. Always getting hugs and kisses from every guy
came in. Probably why her husband, who was active-duty Marine Corps, finally
kicked her to the curb. I would imagine he caught her too many times. He’d go
on deployment and she’d be out…well, again, you get the picture. I was old
enough to be her grandfather and I kinda treated her that way. Let her move
into my place. Made sure she had a nice car and spending money. I could afford
it, I retired well.
Treated her good in
bed, too. She said many times I was the best lover she ever had. Nothing like
many years of experience and knowing exactly what women like. There was nothing
I wouldn’t do for Janey, in bed and out. I figured she’d probably be my last
girl. Well, the last one that wasn’t a dried-up old hag, anyway.
So, we had a hell of
a party last night. Lotta friends over. Some of them mine, some of them hers.
Nice crowd. But I got tired early and I went to bed. I knew Janey would take
care of getting Ubers and cabs for the ones who were too wasted. And the house
has two more bedrooms for anybody who just couldn’t navigate at all. She’d lock
up and set the alarm and all that. And I figured when all that bullshit was
over, she’d bring her drunken ass to bed and probably wake me up for some
nookie. That was the way it usually worked with us. I’d be rested somewhat and
she’d be drunk and horny. It usually
made for some hot times between the sheets.
When I got up this
morning she wasn’t in bed. At least not with me. And when I walked down the
hall, the door to the center bedroom was open. Not just standing ajar, but wide
fucking open. I glanced in and there was Janey. In bed with Joey. Almost sounds
like it oughta be some kinda rhyme. Janey and Joey, sittin in a tree…F-U-C-K-I-N-G…First
comes love, then comes marriage, there goes Joey with a baby carriage. Well,
not fucking likely, I thought and went to the kitchen to make coffee.
Well, at least they
weren’t goin at it right then, I thought to
myself as the coffee machine rumbled and hissed and chuckled. That deed was
already done, for sure. I took the first cup and hit the shower. Made myself
some breakfast. All the time I was scrambling eggs, I was wondering how many
times she’d done this shit before that I didn’t know about.
Then she finally got
up. Came to the kitchen all proper in her robe. Got her some coffee. All kinds
of apologies, tears and all that shit. We were keeping our voices down.
Fighting as quiet as church mice. Didn’t wanna wake up Joey, I guess. She tried
to kiss me a couple times, and I kept turning away. In spite of the coffee she
was drinking, I could smell her cock-breath and it was making me crazy.
Later, Joey got up
and wandered out, scratching his nuts through his skivvies. He looked around
some, but didn’t ask. Guess he was just gonna brazen it out. Asked me, “Hey, is
it okay if I grab a shower?”
“Sure. Use the one
in the south bathroom. North one’s not working right.”
He grabbed his
shower, then snagged a beer outta my fridge and left. Hair of the dog, I
suppose. It’s okay, though. I don’t blame Joey. Joey is mostly a dick leading a
man around. He most likely won’t be making any of my parties in the future,
though. Damn, I’d better hurry up.
Did I mention I’m a
retired cop? Oh, yeah. Twenty years and eleven months on the city P.D. You get
to know a lotta people in that amount of time. Judges. Attorneys. Hospital
folks. Other cops, of course.
Janey’s hanging out
in the north bathroom. When I was in there earlier, I’d grabbed her pantyhose
off the bar thing over the tub. Put them in my pocket. Didn’t really even know
why I did that at the time. Then, when she pushed my buttons one time too many,
I realized why they were in my pocket.
in there now
with the door closed, hanging from the curtain rod. This suicide note’s coming
along nicely. But I need to get this wrapped up. I’ve gotta tee time at Rolling
Hills Country Club at one o’clock with Bill Kravitz. Doctor William Kravitz.
He’s the county medical examiner…known him for fifteen years. Bill’s a good guy
if I hurry, Dr. Bill will make a good alibi…
Kenneth James Crist is
Editor of Black Petals Magazine and is on staff
at Yellow Mama ezine. He has been a published writer since 1998, having had
almost two hundred short stories and poems in venues ranging from Dark Dossier
and The Edge-Tales of Suspense to Kudzu Monthly. He has several books in print,
and the Big Green Booger, and What Really Lives in Loch Ness, both children’s books, and Groaning for Burial, a book of zombie stories, plus
A Motorcycle Cop’s Motorcycle Manual, all available through Amazon.
He reads everything he can get his hands on, not just in horror or
sci-fi, but in mystery, hardboiled, biographies, westerns and adventure tales.
He retired from the Wichita, Kansas police department in 1992 and from the
security department at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita in 2016. Now 77, he is
an avid motorcyclist and handgun shooter. He is active in the American Legion
Riders and the Patriot Guard, helping to honor and look after our military. He
is the owner of Fossil Publications, a desktop publishing venture that seems
incapable of making any money at all. On June the ninth, 2018, he did his first
(and last) parachute jump and crossed that shit off his bucket list.
Hillary Lyon is an illustrator
for horror/sci-fi and pulp fiction websites and magazines. She is also founder and
senior editor for the independent poetry publisher, Subsynchronous Press. An SFPA
Rhysling Award nominated poet, her poems have appeared in journals such as Eternal
Haunted Summer, Jellyfish Whispers, Scfifaikuest, Illya’s Honey,
and Red River Review, as well as numerous
anthologies. Her short stories have appeared recently in Night
to Dawn, Yellow Mama, Black Petals, Sirens Call, and Tales
from the Moonlit Path, among others, as well as in numerous horror anthologies
such as Night in New Orleans: Bizarre Beats from the Big Easy, Thuggish
Itch: Viva Las Vegas, and White Noise & Ouija Boards. She
appeared, briefly, as the uncredited "all-American Mom with baby" in Purple Cactus
Media’s 2007 Arizona indie-film, "Vote for Zombie." Having lived in France,
Brazil, Canada, and several states in the US, she now resides in southern