The Doll

The Doll

by Bernice Holtzman

On Saturday morning I slowly awoke from the dream I was having and sat up smiling in my bed. I felt just like the princess that I became every night after I fell asleep. But I didn’t have to dream anymore. Today was my birthday. I could be pretty.

I got up out of my bed and walked over to the mirror. I looked at myself carefully from the rear and front, profile and full face. Yes, there was definitely a difference. I wasn’t plain anymore. I wasn’t ugly or stupid or “pleasingly plump”—a phrase used by kindhearted people who didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Well, now they didn’t have to worry, because I wasn’t any of those things. I was going to be pretty from now on.

I left my room and walked into the hallway. As I stood at the top of the stairs, I heard my mother laugh. She always laughed. She laughed at herself, at her friends, and at me. She was my loving mother.

I went down the steps and heard her talking to Willie. Willie was the delivery boy with the crooked smile and the straight black hair. He was very tall, and I was in love with him, or had a “crush,” as my mother would say.

I walked into the kitchen where the two of them sat and greeted them. My mother smiled and said, “Happy birthday, Ann.” I thanked her and turned to Willie, who asked how old I was.

“Eleven.”

“You’re getting to be a glamorous girl,” Willie said, and I beamed.

Mother laughed for the second time that morning. “Glamorous?” she said, “Why, she’s as glamorous as you are, Willie!”

I looked at Willie. He was laughing with my mother now, and he wasn’t the least bit glamorous.

I excused myself and went upstairs. I ran to my mirror and stood before it. I was the same plain, ugly, stupid girl I had been before this morning. Whom had I been kidding? I would never be anything else.

I fell face down on my bed, tears pouring from my eyes. I hugged my pillow and with each teardrop I fell more deeply into sleep.

# # #

Today I got a doll. She has thick, velvet-like blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a peaches-and-cream complexion. What a pretty doll! She looks just like me.