There's No Making This Up

Craig Kirchner: There's No Making This Up

There’s no

making this up

by Craig Kirchner

I’m watching a lawyer,

who sounds like he swallowed a frog,

argue to the Supreme Court

that the former President,

who strategized overthrowing the government,

should be immune from any prosecution.

This is way too hard to fathom.

I decide to go to Publix,

pick up my B-12 script,

Raisinets are Buy 1- Get 1,

and two books of poetry, that were terrible,

need to be dropped off at the library.

Windows down, it’s a beautiful day,

and there’s a fly buzzing around in

front of the windshield.

You would assume with the windows down,

he would fly out, instead, a cousin flies in,

and they decide they’re very happy here.

Got the Raisinets. Sitting on a bench

in front of the library is a bearded lady.

I know what you’re thinking—

he made that up—

trust me, three takes—

gray dress, big gold necklace, pocketbook.

I decide it’s got to be a man, right,

but that if you dressed like that, you’d shave.

No matter what the Supreme Court,

or the flies, now making out on

the windshield, decide to do,

this is one of those can’t make it up fuckin days.

Craig Kirchner thinks of poetry as hobo art, loves storytelling and the aesthetics of the paper and pen. He has had two poems nominated for the Pushcart, and has a book of poetry, Roomful of Navels. After a writing hiatus he was recently published in Decadent Review, Wild Violet, Last Leaves, Literary Heist, Ariel Chart, Cape Magazine, Flora Fiction, Young Ravens, Chiron Review, Yellow Mama, Valiant Scribe and several dozen other journals.

Cindy Rosmus originally hails from the Ironbound section of Newark, NJ, once voted the “unfriendliest city on the planet.” She talks like Anybodys from West Side Story and everybody from Saturday Night Fever. Her noir/horror/bizarro stories have been published in the coolest places, such as Shotgun Honey; Megazine; Dark Dossier; The Rye Whiskey Review, Under the Bleachers, and Rock and a Hard Place. She is the editor/art director of Yellow Mama. She’s published seven collections of short stories. Cindy is a Gemini, a Christian, and an animal rights advocate. She has recently branched out into photo illustration.