Five Large, 5 Gs, 5 K...

Di Schmitt: Five Large, 5 Gs, 5 K...

FIVE LARGE, 5 Gs, 5 K . . .

Di Schmitt

Five large for a life . . .

Or death.

Save a life, last-minute.

Death comes cheaper,

Long as it’s done right.

But 5 Gs . . . 5 K . . .

Is too much

For a slice of art

By someone so precious, so pretty,

Who I clearly love.

So far out of my league,

I bite my tongue

Till it bleeds.

Almost swallow it.

A double stuffed pork chop plate

Costs seventeen bucks.

For 5K . . .

I could get 588 chops.

Or 11+ inhalers

For my asthmatic cat.

Wheezing to death beneath that painting.

I’m not rich.

Like other poor slobs,

I waste money on Lotto.

Would a billion dollars earn your love?

Or just 200,000 art pieces?

(Paint faster, Precious.)

In the end,

We’re all back where we started.

Alone.

Five K won’t even cover burial costs.

But my body

would make an unusual sculpture . . .

It’s the only down payment I’ve got!

Di Schmitt sees herself as a female Bob Mitchum.

So do we.

Bernice Holtzman’s paintings and collages have appeared in shows at various venues in Manhattan, including the Back Fence in Greenwich Village, the Producer’s Club, the Black Door Gallery on W. 26^th St., and one other place she can’t remember, but it was in a basement, and she was well received. She is the Assistant Art Director for Yellow Mama.