The
Doll
by Bernice Holtzman
On Saturday morning I slowly
awoke from the dream I was having and sat up smiling in my bed. I felt just
like the princess that I became every night after I fell asleep. But I didn’t
have to dream anymore. Today was my birthday. I could be pretty.
I got up out of my bed and
walked over to the mirror. I looked at myself carefully from the rear and
front, profile and full face. Yes, there was definitely a difference. I wasn’t
plain anymore. I wasn’t ugly or stupid or “pleasingly plump”—a phrase used by
kindhearted people who didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Well, now they didn’t
have to worry, because I wasn’t any of those things. I was going to be pretty
from now on.
I left my room and walked into
the hallway. As I stood at the top of the stairs, I heard my mother laugh. She
always laughed. She laughed at herself, at her friends, and at me. She was my
loving mother.
I went down the steps and heard
her talking to Willie. Willie was the delivery boy with the crooked smile and
the straight black hair. He was very tall, and I was in love with him, or had a
“crush,” as my mother would say.
I walked into the kitchen where
the two of them sat and greeted them. My mother smiled and said, “Happy birthday,
Ann.” I thanked her and turned to Willie, who asked how old I was.
“Eleven.”
“You’re getting to be a
glamorous girl,” Willie said, and I beamed.
Mother laughed for the second
time that morning. “Glamorous?” she said, “Why, she’s as glamorous as you are,
Willie!”
I looked at Willie. He was
laughing with my mother now, and he wasn’t the least bit glamorous.
I excused myself and went
upstairs. I ran to my mirror and stood before it. I was the same plain, ugly,
stupid girl I had been before this morning. Whom had I been kidding? I would never
be anything else.
I fell face down on my bed,
tears pouring from my eyes. I hugged my pillow and with each teardrop I fell
more deeply into sleep.
# # #
Today I got a doll. She has
thick, velvet-like blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a peaches-and-cream
complexion. What a pretty doll! She looks just like me.
© 1970 Bernice Holtzman
