Yellow Mama Archives III

Yucheng Tao

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Untitled

by Yucheng Tao


Someday, I’ll touch the light outside.
When a broken heart is picked up
and pieced together, yet still fragmented,
like a clown’s smiling face. 

The mirror shatters,
I am not yet brave enough
to confess the truth.
The essence of my being
lies in glass fragments of various shapes
scattered on the ground,
reflecting my fractured wings. 

I lack the courage to face
my darkness and the other side of my face.
I desire to smile, to face myself—
yet instead, I wear the face of a clown. 


Night

by Yucheng Tao

Night rain,
a speeding car,
a remote tunnel—
darkness wraps me,
losing me.
"Ah!"—
I am taken,
far away
by the god of silence. 


The Dead

by Yucheng Tao

Short hair.
Dark voids.
Eyeballs in the pan,
staring.
Investigation ongoing. 

Long-haired man,
black plastic bag,
a man in a mask,
flashed down yesterday’s wet hallway. 

His coldness as
ice in the Arctic. 

pan—eyes
his—eyes 

in my daily nightmares. 


2026

Yucheng Tao

1

"Where am I?...Where am I?...Where am I?"
Mark shouted three times in a row, but there was no reply.
       Before him stood a simple black door, ominous and unmarked. He didn’t know where it was. A sense of insufferable fear gripped his spirit, threatening to swallow him whole.

“Come on in.”

The words echoed from beyond the door, but the voice wasn’t human. Mark turned to run, but the door creaked open on its own. Hesitantly—unavoidably—he stepped inside.

The air was thick with sulfur. Before him stretched a grotesque, fiery lake, its surface writhing with flames. Figures writhed within the blaze—people of all colors, their screams lost in the crackling inferno.
Mark staggered back, his body trembling. The pain of seeing comrades die on the battlefield flashed through his mind, vivid as the burning lake before him.

Beside the lake stood a carousel of horrors: rusty iron blades spinning atop its frame, interspersed with torturous devices so grotesque that their purpose seemed beyond comprehension.

They distressed.

They contorted.

They alarmed.

“Have I entered hell?” Mark whispered, his voice trembling.
“It’s not hell,” replied a grim, disembodied voice. “It’s more functional than hell. This place is called Yamo.”

From the shadows emerged a figure cloaked entirely in red, eyeless, and inhuman.

"Why am I here?"

“You’ve been here the whole time,” the voice replied, cold and direct. “Lost in your PTSD.”

Mark shook his head violently. “No! I was in Chicago! Just two days ago!”

The creature's tone sharpened. “Impossible. You lost your life forever. This is a game—my game room. As a reward for protecting your comrades on the battlefield, I’m giving you a chance to see what life would have been like if you weren’t dead.”

Mark’s chest tightened. “No… no! This can’t be true!”

“If you doubt me,” the creature said, its voice dripping with menace, “look at this.”

From the folds of its cloak, the figure revealed a blood-stained piece of paper. Mark’s handwriting was unmistakable:

Everyone survived.
Only I died.
They were enjoying life.
They sang, they danced, they forgot.
Only I was stranded on it.
The place of sand was stained red with blood.

“These notes…” Mark whispered, his face pale. “They’re mine.”
Reality fractured like glass. His surroundings spun as memories clawed at him—the battlefield, the cries of comrades, the endless fields of corpses.

Before he could comprehend it, an absurd voice interrupted.

“Hurry up! Contact Chinese Emperor Yang of Sui, my new friend. We just learned to play Texas Hold ’em!”

Mark blinked in disbelief.

A man with a toothbrush mustache stood before him—Hitler. Behind him stood Schutzstaffel guards.

The absurdity deepened as the doors to a grand living room opened, revealing a palace. There, lounging luxuriously, was Emperor Yang of Sui, nibbling on a Hun-style McDonald’s meal. He read aloud a poem:

“The sun set, look upon.
Her beauty overpowered me.
I can’t help it.”

Mark’s mind twisted. The grotesque absurdity of it all made him want to scream.

“Let me go home!” Mark demanded. “I’m not dead! It’s not fair that these sinners enjoy life while I suffer!”

“Fairness here is absolute,” the leader of Yamo intoned solemnly. “Fairer than your world—a world of senseless wars and endless revenge.”

A stone slab appeared, black letters etched into its surface:

The Ten Rules of Yamo.
Mark’s disbelief hardened. Before he could react, the sinner beside him coughed violently, spewing bright red blood.
Memories clawed at Mark’s brain—gas, corpses, screams. His nightmare resurfaced, and he vomited blood violently.

“Ahhh… Ahhh… Ahhh!”

He fell to his knees, screaming as his mind spiraled deeper—deeper than even Yamo itself.

 

2

Everyone died.
8.15.2026.

Mark was saved.

The rebel army occupied Carl University.

Some ran.

Some shouted.

Some prayed.
People saw colors:

Wine was claret-red.

Vermilion was French-red.
The carnation was light pink-red.

But Mark saw only one color—
Blood red. Blood red. Blood red.

Mark awoke suddenly, jolted by the barking of a dog outside.
“May I come in?”

Jenny, his sister, stood at the door. She smiled warmly. “Welcome home, Mark.”

Mark opened his tired eyes and glanced at his best friend—his prized Equilibrium-brand guitar, handcrafted by a generous Boston luthier.

“I’m back, old friend. We’re gonna have a chat tonight.”
Jenny smiled. “Don’t forget—you have a date with Melinda today.”

 

3

When Mark met Melinda, her short hair and Portland’s style was unchanged after four years.

“You’re lucky to be back,” she said, smiling.

“Lucky? Is that true?”

Overwhelmed, he excused himself, stormed out of the restaurant, and was struck by a passing Chevrolet.

Mark’s brain tumbled and a sea of chaotic sounds in it: Everyone died. 8.15.2026. And blood spattered on the ground, but Mark couldn’t feel the pain. And only one color. Red, just red, red, and the red in his mind was full of images of screaming.

He tried to lift his hand, but his limbs felt detached, like puppets without strings. The pavement beneath him blurred into a desert of crimson.

Time unraveled. He wasn’t sure if he was dying, dreaming, or reliving the same collapse over and over.

A flicker of movement—he saw a child crouching by the roadside, wearing a soldier’s red helmet far too large for her head. She held a melting popsicle and stared at Mark, unspeaking. Her mouth opened slightly. A whisper passed from her lips:
“Red is memory. Red is what remains when the world forgets.”

Mark tried to answer, but a cough of blood stifled his voice. The child was gone.

And then he saw a vision of the carousel from Yamo—its rusted blades spinning in a slow, mocking circle. The shrieks of the damned echoed faintly behind his ears. Was he still alive? Or had the illusion folded into reality?

His heart pounded not from fear, but from recognition: he was slipping again, being pulled back to the realm that promised clarity through madness. A drop of blood rolled across his cheek like a tear. He closed his eyes, whispering—“I never left. That's all.”


Yucheng Tao, originally from China, is a songwriting student in Los Angeles. His work has appeared in The Lake (UK), Red Ogre Review (UK), Cathexis Northwest PressNonBinary Review (including an interview), Ink NestApocalypse ConfidentialThe ArcanistAcademy of the Heart and Mind, and Down in the Dirt. His poetry is also featured in Synchronized ChaosPoetry PotionMoonstone Art Center, and Wingless Dreamer, with additional work in Spillwords and Literary Yard.

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