I Have
Daniel
G. Snethen
Have you ever been stung by a scorpion
or been sprayed by a striped skunk?
Have you ever been bitten by a red-tailed boa
constrictor
or hand-grabbed a prairie rattlesnake?
Have you ever spilled anti-freeze near your tractor
and found your Mother’s dog dead the next
day?
Have you ever watched a cat spin like a bottle
in the middle of a highway after accidently hitting
it?
Have you ever waited for an oncoming vehicle
to pass before rescuing an ornate box turtle
from the road only to see its shell implode
and its entrails explode from the impact of said
car?
Have you ever seen a wolverine cross the road
behind you
or a grizzly bear cross the road in front of you?
Have you ever watched a female collared lizard
through a
spotting-scope,
and witnessed her being ravaged by a male Mojave
black
collared lizard?
Have you ever seen western screech owls copulate
in midair
or dozens of American carrion beetles riding tandem
on a
dead rat?
Have you ever found a Fairburn agate
or a petrified fish skeleton in a concretion?
Have you ever milked a cow by hand
or plucked a chicken and pulled its entrails out?
Have you ever skinned out the baculum of a mouse?
Have you ever operated on a hamster?
Have you ever had an ornate box turtle pee on
you
and then placed it back onto the ground and pee
on it?
Have you ever watched a box turtle dry hump a
rock?
Have you ever gone whaling with your best friend.
Have you ever watched your best friend
hump another friend’s leg?
Have you ever had the amputated leg
of your best friend neatly wrapped in your freezer?
Have you ever just buried that cancerous leg
because the original owner wandered off,
never to be seen again, beneath
the midnight
shroud of a darkling moon.
