Tip of the Spear
John C. Erianne
"Before you stands a damn fine soldier…a COTTONBALER…by God!
I can be counted on to accomplish any mission…any task…any job. I have been in the arena. My face is covered with
dust, sweat, and blood. I have known the sweet fragrance of freedom for I have paid the price. I am a damn fine soldier…a
COTTONBALER…by God! " — from the Cottonbaler’s Creed
Corporal Darius Mayberry III, A.K.A.Cherry-Popper, considered that most of what
he knew about warfare he’d learned as starting cornerback for the David W. Carter High School football team in Dallas,
Texas. As he pondered this thought, Darius was quite pleased with himself. He was working the leg press in the Camp Doha gym.
His glutes and knees tensed with every repetition. One of the first things his coach had taught him was that the most prepared
in any game wins. Back home, Darius was always a little more fit than the guy he was eyeballing on the field. He was almost
always faster and had stickier hands. Better to come down with the ball than with air.
By the time Darius was a senior in high school he realized that, as good at football
as he was, he probably didn’t have the level of talent necessary to make it as a college player, much less as a pro
football player. It was about this time that an army recruiter came to his high school. The recruiter’s name was Sergeant
Charles Allan Gray. Sergeant Gray was part black and part something else and walked with a certain gait that Darius’
late father, Darius Jr., would have described as "church Negro straight," which meant that Gray walked as if God Himself had
shoved a lightning rod up his ass. Still, Darius had to admire Gray’s sales pitch. The sergeant skillfully moved his
recruiting speech off stage, having fixed his attention on the few students who had been paying attention. He approached them
one at a time, speaking to each student like a big brother.
"Hey there, Darius," Gray said. "You look like you really like the ladies."
"And they like me," Darius had answered, trying to sound tough.
Gray must have known at that moment that he’d hooked Darius.
"Well, shoot," Gray said. "If you think you’re gettin’ pussy now, just
try it in a uniform. Hell, man. You’ll be like Puff Daddy and Dennis Rodman all rolled into one package."
Darius signed on the dotted line and within six months of his encounter with Gray,
he was on a bus heading to Georgia.
Darius’ army experience had only reinforced what he already knew from football.
The only difference is that now the battles would be real. Back in Texas, if you lost a game, you maybe got your ass chewed
by the coach and went home with a case of wounded pride. In war, losing meant losing your life and the lives of your friends.
Of course, Darius had no plans to die. Shit, he thought, I’m going to live forever. He smiled at the thought.
Darius was still smiling when Sergeant Alex Rojas, A.K.A. Sergeant Rock, approached
him from the other side of the gym. "Cherry," he said. "Boy, if you aren’t some kind of son of a bitch."
"What’s the problem, Sarge?"
"I told you to look after the new kid. Not take him to a cathouse and get him drunk.
This is Kuwait, son — not Reno, Nevada. Dios Mio. How did you find that place anyway?"
Darius laughed. He once claimed to have deflowered more than one thousand virgins
in the Big D before joining up with the Army. Not one among the Sand Hogs from the Fighting 3-7 believed him, but Darius did
have an easy way with women and always knew where to find action. Darius seemed to know the location of every bar, strip joint,
and whorehouse on the planet.
"Don’t rightly know, Sarge. How’d you find out?" Darius had a voice
as big and booming as a Howitzer cannon and a generous white smile made all the more luminous in contrast to his dark caramel
skin.
Rojas shook his head." Your buddy Chavez gave me the lowdown. The kid’s in
the infirmary puking his guts out. You’re damn lucky Lieutenant Finney wasn’t the one who found out. Finney would
have your nuts if he knew."
"You going to report me?" Darius asked.
"Not this time. Fortunately for you we’re heading into Iraq soon and I don’t
need one of my best on ice just now. "
Darius smiled. "Thanks, Sarge."
"Don’t thank me. The road to Baghdad won’t be a senior prom."
Darius grinned at him. "I’m straight, Sarge."
"I hope so. Because what’s coming around the bend isn’t a training
exercise. It’s about as real as it gets."
Rojas had been right. Three days later, Darius found himself in the turret nest
of an M3E1 Bradley Fighting Vehicle with sand blowing in his face. The uncomfortable trek to Baghdad was made more treacherous
by sandstorms and broken supply lines in the convoy. Food rations had been cut by a third and water rations by half. No, this
wasn’t going to be a trip to the prom. Four days into the Iraq campaign, Darius got his first taste of real warfare.
Finney radioed Rojas that the convoy needed to stop due to a sandstorm up ahead.
"All right, Private. Let’s make a pit stop," Rojas said to Pfc. Boot.
"Sure thing, Sarge." Boot was a rangy kid with a long jaw-line that made him look
as if he had a perpetual smirk. Spc. Antonio Chavez had said to Darius, just before they handed Boot over to the loving embrace
of a Kuwaiti prostitute, that Boot would look more at home in a circus than in the army.
"Boot’s all right, Tony," Darius had replied. "No doubt the boy can drive
a Bradley. Fact is, if he can fuck the way he drives, he might put me to shame one day."
Boot stopped the Bradley. "Boys," Rojas said. "Get out and stretch your legs. We
might be here a while."
The Bradley carried five men including one embedded reporter — a Frenchman
named Pierre de Guerre, who was a correspondent for Le Monde. Darius expected de Guerre to be a pain in the ass, but the guy
kept to himself and slept quite a bit. de Guerre had only rarely asked a question since joining up with the unit at the Kuwaiti-Iraq
border. He usually asked technical questions like, "What does this instrument do?" or "How much damage can this vehicle withstand?"
His English was very good and if he had a serious problem with the U.S. military, he was smart enough not to show his true
feelings.
Rojas tapped de Guerre on the shoulder. "Hey, de Guerre. Wake up."
de Guerre opened his eyes. "We are stopping now?"
"Yeah, " Rojas said. "Grab yourself a bite to eat. Same for the rest of you. Eat.
Take a piss. Whatever. Cherry — "
"Yeah, Sarge," Darius responded
"Corporal. I want you to form a perimeter. One man stays in the turret."
After eating, Darius ordered Pvt. Beale into the turret. Darius and Chavez stayed
at the rear of the vehicle with de Guerre who was scribbling in his notebook. "What you writing there, Chief?" Chavez asked
de Guerre.
"Just some observations."
"You ever cover a war before?" Chavez asked de Guerre.
"Many," answered de Guerre. "I was here during the first Gulf War. I’ve covered
Africa extensively. Kosovo. Bosnia." de Guerre looked over at Darius.
"So, corporal," de Guerre started. "You are from Texas, yes?"
"Yeah, that’s right."
"What do you think of your President Bush?"
Darius turned to de Guerre grinning. "Bush. Bush, you say? Bush ain’t nothin’
but a pussy."
Chavez laughed. de Guerre continued as if he hadn’t gotten the joke.
"So, you don’t care for your commander-in-chief?"
"I don’t rightly have an opinion about the man. He tells me I got to go to
Iraq, I go to Iraq. He tells me I got to win Baghdad and put down Saddam like the dog he is, that’s what I do. I’m
a soldier. "
"You are gung ho, then," the Frenchman observed.
"The Marines are gung ho," Chavez corrected. "We’re cautiously optimistic."
"What is the difference?"
"Why don’t you explain it to him, Cherry?" Chavez said.
"Well, Pierre. It’s like this," Darius said. "We’re a much more democratic
organization than the Marines."
"How so?"
"Marines have to die on command. Here in the three-seven, we get to die whenever
we’re of the mind to."
Chavez laughed. Even de Guerre couldn’t help himself. He expelled a great
nervous belly laugh.
"You know," de Guerre said, finally. "I really like you guys."
Just then the men heard a pop. Then another.
Pop. Pop, pop.
A bullet hit Beale in the middle of his face, breaking his head open like a Fourth
of July watermelon. Someone yelled, "Medic!" Rojas pulled Beale from the turret. The private’s brains spilled onto the
floor as Rojas laid him down inside the vehicle.
"What the fuck — " Chavez yelled. He ducked down and wheeled around with
his rifle and began firing. Darius shoved de Guerre into the back of the Bradley.
Darius dropped to the ground and rolled to the side. He sprayed the area with cover
fire, rolled, then fired again in the direction the initial shots had come from. Darius heard a scream. By this time, other
soldiers from the convoy, including Rojas and Boot had come running. The soldiers lit up the dunes with rifle fire. It was
like an old-fashioned crow blast. When they had finished, four of the enemy lay dead in the sand.
"Gawd," said Boot. "They’s just a bunch of kids." They were dressed in civilian
clothes. The oldest didn’t look to be more than twenty years old. The youngest was probably around thirteen.
"Is this who we came here to fight?" Chavez asked.
"They’re some kind of militia. Probably came out this far on their own accord,"
Rojas said.
"Why do you say that?" de Guerre asked.
"If I were Saddam and I knew my enemy was heading toward Baghdad, and I knew they
had air superiority, I’d pull my best divisions back closer to the city and send my militia out to stall the ground
advance. Give me time to fortify Baghdad. This posse here is probably part of some scouting party. Pity for them they weren’t
better marksmen."
"They sure as hell nailed poor Beale," Chavez said.
"And they wasted a lot of ammo doing it," said Rojas.
"So what are we going to do now?" Darius asked, visibly upset, his hands shaking.
Boot was kneeling by Beale’s body, crying.
"For Christ sakes," Rojas said. "Boot. Cowboy up, man. This isn’t the last
friend you’re going to lose before this mess is over. Chavez — "
"Yes, Sarge," Chavez answered.
"Police Beale’s body. Boot? Boot!"
"Y-yes, Sarge."
"Radio Lieutenant Finney."
The convoy stayed the night. Darius manned the turret until the sandstorm hit.
It was a tense night. Only de Guerre and Rojas were able to sleep. Boot had the hardest time with Beale’s death. The
two of them had gone through basic training together. Darius wanted to say something to lighten the mood, but for the first
time in his life he couldn’t think of anything to say. Even though he had lived very near a known gang neighborhood
back in the Dallas-Fort Worth area where gun-related fatalities were common, Darius had never actually witnessed anyone die
like Beale had.
"That shit was fucked-up," was all Chavez could say in a low voice not much more
than a whisper.
"Yeah," Darius replied.
Boot hugged his rifle close to his body.
The full brunt of the sandstorm hit at around 2200 and it didn’t subside
until 0340 the next morning. Wake up was at 0400 and, after a quick snap to get the vehicles started, the convoy was on the
move again.
de Guerre woke up finally.
"Gawd dang," Boot shouted, "I believe that man could sleep through anything."
"Un vieil homme a besoin de son sommeil, jeune châtelain," de Guerre said with
a slight grin.
"Did he just call me stupid or something?" Boot asked.
"Pourquoi, non. That would be rather foolish of me," de Guerre said. "Sergeant.
Where are we going now?"
"Still hauling ass towards Baghdad."
"Smooth sailing, then? As you Americans say." de Guerre said.
"I doubt it." Rojas pointed to a line on his map. "We’ll probably reach An-Najaf
sometime tomorrow. If HQ thinks the route to Baghdad is going to be a cakewalk, then somebody’s been smoking something."
As the convoy got closer to An-Najaf, Darius could see black smoke over the horizon
from his position in the turret. As the convoy exited the open desert and entered a two-lane highway, Darius saw his first
view of what the air campaign had wrought on Iraq. The charred remains of trucks and other vehicles littered the road, some
with corpses inside. The air smelled of gasoline and fried flesh.
"Yay, tho’ I walk in the valley of the shadow, motherfucker," Darius muttered.
"Lord, almighty."
The expedition suddenly turned into a one hundred kilometer death-slog. A massive
sandstorm caused delays. Many vehicles broke down or got stuck. Occasionally, a bulldozer would have to be called up from
a maintenance unit to fill in a ditch that obstructed the path forward.
The convoy broke down into small units, each with its own mission. The 3-7 moved
on to the city of An-Najaf. On the outskirts of the city, near an abandoned industrial site, Rojas and his men had their first
serious engagement in the three-day battle for An-Najaf. A rocket-propelled grenade came flying from behind a partially collapsed
brick wall. The RPG narrowly missed the Bradley, but came close enough that Darius felt its heat as the grenade whizzed past
him and exploded in a field.
Rojas yelled, "Chavez, blast that fucker!"
Boot turned the vehicle forty-five degrees to the left and Chavez fired the big
gun. BLAM. BLAM, BLAM, BLAM. The wall collapsed completely and the attacker stumbled
from the dust and fell to the ground, a big bloody hole in his chest.
Darius caught another man on a rooftop getting ready to fire at them. Darius shot
first and hit the man in the throat and stomach.
de Guerre was filling his notebook during the skirmish. Afterward, he asked Darius
how it felt to kill another human being.
"Well, you know. I don’t feel too good. But better them than us."
Rojas wasn’t in the mood to answer de Guerre’s question.
"I am just trying to understand, Sergeant."
"How many wars did you say you’ve covered? How many do you have to cover
to understand killing’s a shitty thing to have to do?"
de Guerre smiled and put away his notebook. When the Bradley started moving again,
de Guerre went to sleep.
Pointing at de Guerre, Chavez asked, "You think he’s got a family?"
Rojas shrugged. "Somehow, I doubt it. Can’t imagine he’d sleep that
peacefully over here if he did."
"Fucking-A," Chavez said, thinking of his wife, Sonja, and his three year-old son,
Jorge.
An-Najaf is located along the Euphrates River, which has a number of bridges running
across it. The 3-7 was assigned Objective Floyd, which brought the soldiers up along highway 9. Highway 9 runs parallel to
the river so the assorted Iraqi militia who had found relative safety among the civilian population inside the city were forced
to come outside to defend the onslaught of the 3-7.
The Iraqis were not well-trained, but they made up for it in tenacity and daring,
throwing themselves at the Americans in wave after wave of hit-and-run assaults. Darius had killed at least three men who
had tried to get close to his vehicle. It was carnage. It was a night when no one dared close his eyes.
By the end of the third day of the assault, the 3-7 had completely encircled An
Najaf. The soldiers had killed or captured over 1000 of the enemy. The 3-7 turned the entire operation over to elements of
the 101st Airborne. After refitting and refueling, the Sand Hogs of the 3-7 crossed the Euphrates river.
Most of the resistance between the river and Baghdad had been destroyed during
the air campaign. Apache helicopters had taken out two whole columns of the Republican Guard the day before, and other units
of the Third Infantry had all but decimated the feared Medina division. By the time the 3-7 got within thirty kilometers of
Baghdad, coalition forces controlled nearly three-quarters of Iraq. Except for a small contingent of Fedayeen fighters who
attempted an ambush on the banks of the river as they crossed, Rojas and his men had a fast run to their next objective.
"So boys," Rojas said. "What do you think about the enemy so far?"
"Can’t shoot for shit," Darius said, "but —"
"But what?" Rojas prodded.
"They know how to adapt and they ain’t afraid of us."
"Exactly. When we get to the airport, expect anything. They will do whatever it
takes to stop us. Stay alert. Stay cool."
The coalition renewed its bombing of Baghdad ahead of the incursion into the city.
Parts of Baghdad were on fire. Power had been cut off to the city. As the convoy closed in on Saddam International Airport,
Darius could see the bursts of bombs and the tracer fire from the few remaining anti-aircraft guns flashing in the sky above
Baghdad.
For the first time, Darius admitted to himself that he was truly afraid. He tried
to conjure more pleasant thoughts, but he kept seeing Beale’s face. Poor Beale. Poor dopey Beale. Poor preacher’s
kid with his chunky freckled face and nervous eyes. Darius was sorry. Sorry Beale was dead and sorry he had been the one who
ordered Beale into the turret. Mostly, Darius was feeling sorry for himself that he was only twenty-three and might not make
it back home.
de Guerre was wide-awake. He seemed excited to be coming to what was expected to
be the worst fighting of the invasion.
"We’re coming into the home stretch, boys," Rojas announced.
"Magnifique. C'est oj l'action est," de Guerre said. "This reminds me of Bosnia."
"Maybe I should give you a weapon," Rojas said.
de Guerre shook his head. "Non. I trust your men will protect me."
"Keeping you safe isn’t our primary responsibility, so you might want to
keep your Kevlar on and your head down," Rojas replied, then added in Spanish: "He hecho las paces mi con el dios. ¿Tiene
usted?"
Up ahead of the convoy, an Iraqi tank and a truck full of armed men were blocking
the road. One of the other Bradley vehicles launched a TOW missile at the tank. The gun turret blew off the tank’s body.
The explosion ensnared the truck and it caught fire and blew up. The few militia men who were not killed instantly, lay in
the road, screaming and burning to death.
Darius muttered to Chavez, "Jesus. You see that? I can’t believe that shit."
"I know, man. That could’ve been us."
"Might be before this is over."
"That’s not my idea of fun," Chavez said. "I got people to go home to. I’m
ready to go home."
"I feel you, brother," Darius said.
The fight for Saddam International was a lot like An-Najaf had been, only worse.
It was the first time the 3-7 had experienced serious casualties.
BAM, BAM. BAM,BAM,BAM,BAM.
"SANCHEZ. ON YOUR SIX." Rojas got out of the vehicle and jogged alongside it, his
rifle pointed up at a nearby building.
Sanchez wheeled around and fired the 25mm chain gun at a bus full of armed Iraqis.
The rounds tore through the side of the bus. The bus flipped over and skidded on its side for several yards.
The vehicle slowed to a crawl. de Guerre got out of the back of the Bradley and
was running behind Rojas. de Guerre muttered to himself in French then said to Rojas, "This is very exciting, no?"
"What are you doing out here?" Rojas shouted.
"Just trying to cover the story, mon ami."
de Guerre only smiled at him as a bullet zinged past his ear. Darius and Sanchez
were among those providing suppressing fire as the infantry moved forward. A symphony of gunfire and explosions rocked the
highway leading into the airport.
An Iraqi in green camouflage aimed an RPG at Lt. Finney’s vehicle. Darius
shot the Iraqi soldier, but not before the soldier fired at Finney’s Bradley. The rocket punched a hole in the side
the size of an Easter ham. Darius could hear the screams above the continuous crack of bullets. The whole side of the vehicle
came off and Finney rolled out onto the street, minus his legs and one of his arms. The side of Finney’s face was gone.
The vehicle squealed to a halt.
At one point the Americans were on the verge of being overrun, but they fought
through it and pushed the enemy back a little further.
The fighting went on for several hours. The enemy regrouped. The Iraqis tried to
create a bottleneck, but they only had small arms. Buses, pickup trucks and bulldozers were no match for armored cavalry.
The Americans had miscalculated logistically in the run up to Baghdad, but the Saddam loyalists has miscalculated tactically
in believing that the Americans wouldn’t enter the city with armored divisions. Logistical problems can be worked around.
Tactical problems are fatal. Eventually, superior firepower wore the Iraqis down. Saddam International belonged to the coalition
authority. With the airport in their possession, the military could launch attacks into Baghdad at will.
Darius stood next to the Bradley, just outside the airport, cleaning some of the
grime off him. He had so much sand caked on him that the Iraqi desert had become like a second coat of skin. Sanchez was reloading
the Bradley. Boot was sitting on the pavement near the vehicle looking like he was about to vomit.
"Where’s Rojas?" Darius asked Boot.
Boot shrugged. "Think he’s talking to Captain Grady."
"About Finney?"
"I think we’re getting ready to move out again. The Sarge said we weren’t
going to quit until we’d cleaned out the city."
Darius shouldered his weapon and adjusted his shades. To the left of him, a small
group of soldiers had a bunch of prisoners lying prostrate on the ground. A soldier had his boot pressed firmly on one prisoner’s
back, his rifle pointed at the man’s head. "GIVE ME A REASON, MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL SHOOT YOU."
A group of soldiers were gathering the dead and loading them into trucks. There
were some dead American soldiers — more than Darius had seen at one time since the war began — but most of the
dead were Iraqi. There were body parts and blood everywhere. There was an overturned truck, smoldering and black to Darius’
right. A severed human leg was hanging from the hood, its flesh seared and fused to the surface. A headless body lay next
to the truck. Darius couldn’t tell whether the corpse was an American or an Iraqi.
de Guerre, who had been talking to another reporter from one of the cable news
channels, came trotting over to Darius.
"How are you holding up, my man?"
"How you think?" Darius answered.
"Listen," de Guerre said, "I’d like to get some of your impressions about
the battle."
"What do you want to know?"
"Did it go as you expected?"
"We won, didn’t we?"
"That’s not what I meant."
"No. It didn’t go the way I thought."
"You thought the Iraqis would take one look at your big fighting machines and throw
down their weapons without a fight?"
Darius nodded. "Something like that. I mean, I knew they would fight. I just didn’t
think they’d come at us quite like that. I didn’t think we’d have to kill so many of them"
"But now you know," de Guerre said.
Darius nodded and walked away. Rojas and Capt. Grady were walking toward him. Grady
slapped Rojas on the back. Rojas glanced over at Darius. He had the kind of look on his face that told Darius trouble was
on the way. Who knew how long the fighting would last? The army would push through the city block by block, building by building,
stone by stone. The army would converge like the tightly clenched fingers of a giant fist, choking what life was left in the
city. Tomorrow some general would be on television calling this mess a victory, but it didn’t feel like victory to Darius.
Some days you jumped up and came down with the football, Darius thought, and some days you come down with air. Today, it felt
like air — hot and stinking Iraqi air.
FOR A FORMER TEACHER WHO SAYS I
DON'T HAVE A FEEL FOR LANGUAGE
John C. Erianne
You're probably right
even I suspect that I've
never written a better
poem than that first one
I wrote at age five, in my
own blood, on the classroom
floor after a playground
beating.
Language is a pair of soft
wet genitals pressing together
against the threat of midnight
a pair of Craftsman pliers
gripping the nut but
mostly it's a big fat trout
too slippery and smart to
catch.
I have often sat nearly weeping
at the blankness of the page
the Zen moment staring up
mocking me in its stillness
and I have held that same page
in my hand filled with words
with the ink burning the edge
of my fingertips because I dared
touch its fire.
Perhaps, I don't
have a feel for
language
but
that's not
the point.
You see,
the language
has a feel for
me.
War
Prayer
by
John C. Erianne
This is not a poem and do not
think me a poet for I am not
here to save you or legislate
the universe to you or impart
any truth at all to you.
I offer you, instead, a curse
and a plague of anvils — my
every comma a threat, my
every stanza a declaration
of war.
Do not think me a poet and
do not for a second expect
poetry.
I do not offer you beauty
or kindness.
You will find no comfort
and no quarter in my words.
And I don't care to hear your
whining or begging and
I'm not taking requests
or suffering fools today.
I want nothing of trees
or your wide open