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Joe Balaz
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WEN DA DEVIL SMILES

 

by Joe Balaz

 

 

 

I forgot       to pay attention to da road marker.



I forgot       visual images are transferable.

 

I forgot       dat I wuz going somewheah.

 

I forgot       every destination is just wun station.

 

I forgot       da silver lining is colorless in its dormancy.

 

I forgot       bad tings only happen wen da devil smiles.

 

I forgot       not to consume grass on da highway.

 

I forgot       da herd stampedes wit titanium hooves.

 

I forgot       objects get mangled on impact.

 

I forgot       wat da paramedic wuz telling me.

 

I forgot       spiraling like wun broken airplane.

 

I forgot       da feel of da emergency room.

 

I forgot       dat I wuzn’t wun cloud.

 

I forgot       to take anadah breath.

 

I forgot       da pitchfork stuck in my throat.

 

I forgot       to open my eyes.

 

I forgot       to see da big red stop sign.

 

 

GAMBLE IN DA JUNGLE

 

by Joe Balaz

 

 

Get wun grip and leap, baby,

and swing like Tarzan through da trees.

 

Five will get you ten

wun wild creature not going leave you hanging.

 

 

Wish foa three cherries

and wun big jackpot

 

cause it’s all wun adventure

in da risky romance play

 

wen serendipitous chance

is mixed wit emotions.

 

 

Ride dat passionate tiger

and place wun wager on da thrill.

 

Nevahmind da claws

hidden in da cards.

 

 

Change partners if you must

just like slot machines

 

and look at how dat great ape stares at you

wit two eyes spinning like roulette wheels.

 

 

Dere’s wun whole stack of chips

in da sparkle of desire.

 

Pull it in or pay it out

as all da monkeys start grabbing da vines.

 

 

Ace or joker on da top of da deck. 

Somebody new is spying you through da leaves.

 

It’s either predator or prey

 

so get anadah grip and leap, baby,

and answer all da tom-toms in your heart.




TOFU VAGINA

 

by Joe Balaz

 

 

People go to places

dat dey no like admit to.

 

Maybe it just comes down

to stimulation.

 

 

Dats da driving force

of course

 

but as to how da mind

achieves dat pleasurable tingle

 

is anadah ting all togettah.

 

 

Kinky is wun subjective term.

It’s like wun outpost on wun far border—

 

you can visit it

from time to time

 

and look out ovah da vast territory

of human carnal complexity.

 

 

Inventiveness

and innovation abounds

 

in da big organ

wit big ideas

 

being carried around

on wun willing body.

 

 

Gary flipped da light switch

 

and felt around in da dark

foa his molded soy creation

 

dat wuz lying on wun towel

on top of his mattress.

 

 

Call it flaky or bizzare

or out of touch weirdness.

 

 

In wun brain

 

dat doesn’t even give it

wun second taught

 

it’s just anadah avenue

to wun impulsive sensation.


 

 

HARLEY CARESS

 

by Joe Balaz

 

 

I’ve nevah seen one of her movies

 

but I tink I know

wat da action scenes look like.

 

 

Her face is just as sexy

as da one on da DVD picture online.

 

Da only difference

is dat she’s not wearing red lipstick

 

and she doesn’t have

dat same frizzy hairdo.

 

 

I checked da photo out

on my computer

 

so I could identify her

 

cause my neighbor

in my apartment building

 

said dat she frequented

da corner pizzeria.

 

 

I don’t even know

why I’m sitting heah

 

two tables away from her

watching her eat.

 

She no can see my quick glances

 

dat make me feel

like I’m looking through wun keyhole.

 

 

I swear

 

I’m not into pornographic pepperoni

or extra sleazy cheese

 

but I seem to be confusing myself

cause I kannot take my eyes off of her.

 

 

I imagine da room going dark

 

and da ghost of her cinematic exploits

materializing in frantic gyrations

 

on da wall behind her.

 

 

I don’t tink I’m stalking—

I don’t even know her.

 

 

Harley Caress

takes wun sip of her soft drink

 

as she finishes her slice.

 

 

Sliding da slender strap

of her purse ovah her shoulder

 

she stands

and den walks seductively

 

out da glass door.

 

 

I haven’t felt dis way

since I wuz wun teenager

 

watching my first X-rated flick.   

 

 

Risqué thrills                                                                                                                                  

and tantalizing frills—

 

looks like

dis sexual fantasy ting

 

is wun lifetime gig.



SKINNY DENDRIX


 


by Joe Balaz


 


 


Waiting foa da bus


I saw him wit his ukulele


 


like I did several times before


strumming and singing


watevah tune did came into his head.


 


Aftah awhile his musical repertoire


simply blended into da din of da city


until he broke out wit da title song


of wun popular psychedelic album


                                                      


from da late 60s.


I wuz struck by his selection


in regards to his situation.         


Wishing foa coins


to drop into wun empty coffee can


 


dis old black dude


as thin as wun toothpick


 


suddenly became profound


as he sang line foa line


 


words dat seemed to justify


how he had become so experienced.  


Da circumstantial irony


wuz like da pivotal lines


in some film writer’s screenplay.


                                                                                                                                                Drifting through my brain


like wun purple-colored haze


 


Skinny Dentrix


unknowingly stoked my curiosity


 


and made me stop and wonder


how his life had really been.










christmastale2.jpg
Art by W. Jack Savage © 2017

noapply2debra.jpg
Art by Cindy Rosmus © 2018

DAT NO APPLY TO DEBRA

 

by Joe Balaz

 

Wen Debra realized

wun unexpected end

 

it wuz as if she wuz wacked

by wun frying pan

 

wit stars swirling ovah her head

like wun stunned cartoon character.

 

 

If it wuz just lipstick on da collar

 

or different color hair

in da bathroom drain

 

den maybe da shock

would have been easier to take.

 

 

Da fact dat all of her friends knew

before she did

 

looking like private investigators

 

wit dere incriminating photos of her man

taken wit dere smartphones in public

 

showed how blatant

da cheating wuz.

 

 

It’s like dat sad situation

of being da last one to know—

 

it happens moa often den not.

 

So dere she goes

 

smashing all da china

dat he bought foa her

 

in da kitchen sink.

 

It sounds like World War III

 

and her anger is advancing

on all continents.

 

 

Da mess wit da lawyer

dat needs to be sorted out

 

is going to be wun nasty one

 

cause hurt and ensuing animosity

is wun volatile combination.

 

 

People get to

wheah dey get to

 

by getting deah

 

but if you bow out gracefully

 

den maybe da passion

dat held you

 

really wuzn’t all dat real.

 

 

Dat no apply to Debra

 

cause she’s swirling

into wun tornado

and she’s going

to churn and grind

 

until her soon to be

greatest romantic mistake

 

gets obliterated

into wun disastrous pulp.

NO CAN CHANGE ITS STRIPES

 

by Joe Balaz

 

 

 

Nowadays plenty guys

stay getting busted

 

cause dey nevah control

dere natural urges.

 

 

Making your way up da ladder

is wun pretty cool ting

 

but dat no mean

 

you can invent new kine rules

only foa you

 

wen you get dere.

 

 

Sexual misconduct

is da current topic of note

 

and women

are revealing da men

 

dat took advantage of dem.

 

 

Look at all da power brokers

falling out of high places

 

getting fired or resigning

heah and deah.

 

 

Too bad dey nevah approach it

da old-fashioned way

 

by simply dating

 

and waiting foa her

to invite dem in.

 

 

Making dere way up da ladder

seems to be wun detriment to some

 

cause wit dere carnal actions

it’s quite evident

 

dat you can change da location

of wun tiger

 

but you no can change its stripes.

 

 

 

Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English) and in American-English. He edited Ho'omanoa: An Anthology of Contemporary Hawaiian Literature. Some of his recent Pidgin writing has appeared in Rattle, JukedOtoliths, and Hawai'i Review, among others. Balaz is an avid supporter of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin writing in the expanding context of World Literature. He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

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