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J. J. Campbell
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the horrors of childhood

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

 

stuck here waiting

for the monsters

to take over

 

i’m still the shy

kid in the sandbox

hoping that isn’t

shit running down

his leg

 

they say the horrors

of childhood make

you a stronger adult

 

those fuckers never

do say what happens

to the exceptions to

the rule

 

i’d love to pull one

aside and tell them

the pain of being

older and still

inadequate

 

some scars never

get the chance

to heal



the nightmare of your life

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

welcome to the days

where you should

have just stayed

in bed

 

the days where each

passing hour brings

yet another health

scare

 

is that swelling?

 

is that hot to

the touch?

 

does that red

spot itch?

 

the days where your

favorite chair says

enough and breaks

 

the days where you

foolishly bet money

on basketball games

 

welcome to the days

where the first day

of spring brings snow

 

the days where the cats

are looking at you like

a happy meal

 

the days where the

dreams only resemble

the nightmare of your

life

 

welcome to the days

where any smart man

would be planning the

perfect suicide



 

 

a haggard old soul

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

the fireworks sound

like gunshots late

at night

 

restless in bed,

wishing for them

to stop

 

i quickly wonder

when did i become

the crotchety old

man

 

stay off my lawn

you fucking punks

 

i get a glass of

water and catch

a glimpse of myself

in the mirror

 

a haggard old soul

 

i get back in bed

and start flipping

through the porn

channels

 

searching for a

wayward angel

to bring me home




a harrowing place in time

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

all suicide notes

should be written

in blood

 

that way no one

can misunderstand

the act itself

 

the end of the line

is a harrowing place

in time

 

stuck in the crease

of a world that no

longer gives a shit

that you exist

 

and when the voice

on the other end of

the phone says think

about your loved

ones

 

what do you do

when you have

no loved ones

 

when no one will

accept your love

unless it’s attached

to cash

 

sometimes this bitter

world gets what it

deserves




under the caress of a gentle wind

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

dance under

a neon moon

 

the world is

ours tonight

 

a glass of

something

bubbly and

stealing

kisses under

the caress

of a gentle

wind

 

heaven must

be something

like this

 

the woman of

your dreams

staring into

your eyes and

suddenly it all

becomes real

 

this is usually

the part of the

dream where

that dream

woman laughs

or gets run over

by a car

 

i suppose i still

have time to

change the

ending



 

 

 

catherine

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

say hello to

the tattooed

goddess with

the devilish

tongue

 

temptation

written all

over those

amazing

lips

 

i can still

picture the

one night

alone

 

endless

amounts

of alcohol

and flesh

 

both of our

imaginations

drunk with

the taste of

each other

 

you’re

probably

right

 

we were

never meant

for more

than that

one amazing

night

 

though i

would have

loved each

failure along

the way

 

 

 

 

                                    

failureswithpastlovers.jpg
Art by Patty Mulligan © 2017

failures with past lovers

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

sometimes i fall asleep

by talking to myself

 

it’s usually about all my

failures with past lovers

 

i do this hoping that in

my dreams those lovers

come back to me

 

that never happens

 

but like any crazy

person, i keep trying

 

the romantic in me

still imagines the day

the love of my life

laughs with me in

the rain as we

frantically kiss

under darkening

skies

 

the defeated monster

in me pictures sitting

in the rain alone,

trying to hear music

that doesn’t exist

 

my soul does nothing

but laugh

 

wondering how he can

manage to drown in just

an inch of water

 

 

 

in your shoes

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

taste the anger

on the tongue

 

relish this

moment

 

one of the few

things that are

real anymore

 

harness it

 

use it to your

advantage

 

let everyone

talk about the

crazy fucker

going nuts

 

the madman

rambling while

walking down

the street

 

they never

bothered to

take any steps

in your shoes

 

they don’t have

the guts

 

their privilege

makes them weak,

vulnerable

 

take your abused

body and become

the weapon they

fear

 

 

 


onlygoodbye.jpg
Art by Ann Marie Rhiel © 2018

the only goodbye he deserved

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

spend a few hours trying

to fall asleep by dreaming

of the only time you were

really in love and all the

fucking pain that followed

 

find your father’s grave

and piss on it

 

it’s the only goodbye he

deserved

 

step into the nearest shitty

bar and ask for a glass and

a bottle of something strong

 

give the bartender a crisp

hundred-dollar bill and

slink off into the corner

 

a few glasses in, the beauty

queens will soon start to

whisper

 

enjoy the only attention

you’re going to get

 

 

 


distinguishedsouls.jpg
Art by Ann Marie Rhiel © 2018

distinguished souls

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

 

night

swimming

with the

distinguished

souls in a

lazy river

at the end

of november

 

there were

rumors that

there was a

dead body

out in these

parts

 

plus,

we had

a case

of beer

that was

begging

to be

demolished

 

there’s a rope

hanging from

an old tree

 

it’s for

swinging

i suppose

 

 

ghostsmurderedchildren.jpg
Art by Ann Marie Rhiel © 2018

the ghosts of murdered children

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

 

broken angels and lost souls

 

the ghosts of murdered children

marching the streets right before

dawn

 

all the factories have closed

 

their parking lots are full of

weeds and dirty needles

 

these small towns are allergic

to the future

 

no one wants to step out of

their little utopia

 

this is what happens when

you never open a book

 

venture to the wrong side

of the town

 

or spend any nights

drenched in reality

 

we’ll all be dead soon

 

just an endless nightmare

broadcast on the national

news

 

an epidemic makes the most

unlikely celebrities




someonecouldbelovedtoomuch.jpg
Art by Ann Marie Rhiel © 2019

where someone could be loved too much

 

by JJ Campbell

 

 

a lazy sunday afternoon

 

soon an old tom waits

song slides into your

mind

 

you’ll be finishing off

a bottle of something

strong before you know

it

 

the woman you are

madly in love with

asks you to stop telling

her how much you love

her

 

you laugh

 

imagine a world where

someone could be loved

too much

 

soon the second bottle

will be empty and you’ll

look around your lonely

room still amazed

 

just another lost, lonely

soul abandoned by the

beautiful

 

left to scribble down

some madness like a

monkey in a cage

minus throwing the

shit around

 

 

 



hauntingmemories.jpg
Art by Ann Marie Rhiel © 2019

a few haunting memories

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

it’s an old song

 

a few haunting

memories

 

yet another

empty bottle

on the floor

 

they all look

amazing

walking

away

 

none of them

ever manage

to find their

way back

though

 

eventually,

i will die

 

and the

nightmares

can finally

end

 

or dance in

the head of

another for

a change

 

 


the race has just begun

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

 

this is the

depression

talking

 

how a

beautiful

woman

looks like

misery

 

how the

sunshine

is a beacon

for pain

 

how endless

and deep

forever feels

 

sickens you

to know the

race has just

begun

 

her tears taste

as sweet as

death

 

one day you

might be able

to enjoy this

circus

this endless nightmare

 

by J.J. Campbell

 

 

 

hatred

is this

endless

nightmare

 

only the

assholes

have this

need to

inflict

it on

humanity

 

the

bitter souls

keep it to

themselves

and have a

bottle to

wallow in

that misery

with them

 

i never

wanted

to die

alone

 

but most of

my cookie

crumbled

to a dirty

floor       

 

never any good at magic

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

an inch of rain after

christmas

 

santa didn’t bring

me any damn boots

 

i gave up smoking

nearly twenty years

ago

 

there are days i go

through a carton in

my dreams

 

happiness is an

illusion and i was

never any good

at magic

 

my third eye got

poisoned by

mushrooms

 

tragic isn’t a strong

enough word



a soft landing

by J. J. Campbell

 

i can still taste your lips

 

sweet cherry lip gloss as i ran my hands

down your beautiful body

 

i was young enough to be eager and you

were old enough to know what you liked

 

i was an attentive listener and was good

at following directions

 

you were patient and judging from the

wet spots on the sheets, satisfied

 

i quickly fell in love and you pretended

as long as the sex was good

 

and i know you tried your best to give

me a soft landing when you moved on

 

that was over twenty years ago

 

i’m still climbing back up that mountain



going through the motions

 

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

it’s a cold sunshine

on the fourth of

december

 

not quite winter

but certainly not

fall either

 

going through the

motions of a life

full of pain

 

physical therapy

 

coping with

alcohol

 

not enough sleep

 

rinse and repeat

 

it becomes

relentless and

eventually

breaks

everyone

 

even the stubborn

old fucks like you




 





the shotgun still rests in the corner

by J. J. Campbell

 

 

destiny got on a plane and

was never heard from again

 

forever slipped out of your

hands over twenty years ago

 

the shotgun still rests

in the corner

 

the neon angels laugh as

you walk by each night

alone

 

your shadow doesn’t even

bother to show up anymore

 

the listless underbelly of

a society killing itself

 

go lay down by the river

and hope for a flood

 

J. J. Campbell (1976–?) is stuck in suburbia wondering where the lonely housewives are hiding. He's been widely published over the years, most recently at Synchronized Chaos, Ramingo's Porch, Cajun Mutt Press, The Beatnik Cowboy and Horror Sleaze Trash. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)




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