Yellow Mama Archives

Maria Espinosa
Home
Abbott, Patricia
Aclin, Ken
Adhikari, Sudeep
Ahern, Edward
Alan, Jeff
Aldrich, Janet M.
Allan, T. N.
Allen, M. G.
Allen, Nick
Allison, Shane
Ammonds, Phillip J.
Anderson, Peter
Andreopoulos, Elliott
Anick, Ronald
Anonymous 9
Arab, Bint
Arkell, Steven
Ashley, Jonathan
Aymar, E. A.
Ayris, Ian
Babbs, James
Baber, Bill
Bagwell, Dennis
Baird, Meg
Bakala, Brendan
Baker, Bobby Steve
Baker, Nathan
Balaz, Joe
Baltensperger, Peter
BAM
Barber, Shannon
Barnett, Brian
Bates, Jack
Baugh, Darlene
Bauman, Michael
Baumgartner, Jessica Marie
Beale, Jonathan
Beck, George
Beckman, Paul
Beloin, Phil
Benet, Esme
Bennett, Brett
Bennett, Charlie
Bennett, Eric
Berg, Carly
Bergland, Grant
Berman, Daniel
Bernardara, Will Jr.
Berriozabal, Luis
Beveridge, Robert
Bickerstaff, Russ
Bigney, Tyler
Blair, Travis
Blake, Steven
Bohem, Charlie Keys and Les
Bolt, Andy
Bonehill, L. R.
Booth, Brenton
Boran, P. Keith
Bosworth, Mel
Bougger, Jason
Bowen, Sean C.
Boyd, A. V.
Boyd, Morgan
Bracey, DG
Bradford, Ryan
Bradshaw, Bob
Brady, Dave
Brannigan, Tory
Brawn, Jason D.
Brewka-Clark, Nancy
Britt, Alan
Brock, Brandon K.
brook, j.
Brown, Melanie
Brown, R. Thomas
Brown, Sam
Bull, Warren
Burton, Michael
Bushtalov, Denis
Butler, Janet
Butler, Simon Hardy
Butler, Terence
Cameron, W. B.
Campbell, J. J.
Campbell, Jack Jr.
Cano, Valentina
Carlton, Bob
Cartwright, Steve
Carver, Marc
Castle, Chris
Catlin, Alan
Chen, Colleen
Chesler, Adam
Christensen, Jan
Christopher, J. B.
Clausen, Daniel
Clevenger, Victor
Clifton, Gary
Coffey, James
Colasuonno, Alfonso
Compton, Sheldon Lee
Conley, Jen
Conley, Stephen
Connor, Tod
Cooper, Malcolm Graham
Coral, Jay
Corman-Roberts, Paul
Cosby, S. A.
Crandall, Rob
Criscuolo, Carla
Crisman, Robert
Crist, Kenneth
Crouch & Woods
Crumpton, J. C.
Cunningham, Stephen
Curry, A. R.
D., Jack
Dabbe, Lyla K.
Dallett, Cassandra
Damian, Josephine
Danoski, Joseph V.
Daly, Jim
Daly, Sean
Dalzell, Randy
Davis, Christopher
Day, Holly
Deal, Chris
de Bruler, Connor
Degani, Gay
De France, Steve
De La Garza, Lela Marie
de Marco, Guy Anthony
Deming, Ruth Z.
Demmer, Calvin
Dennehy, John W.
DeVeau, Spencer
Dexter, Matthew
Di Chellis, Peter
Dick, Earl
Dick, Paul "Deadeye"
DiLorenzo, Ciro
Dionne, Ron
Domenichini, John
Dominelli, Rob
Doran, Phil
Doreski, William
Dorman, Roy
Doherty, Rachel
Dosser, Jeff
Doyle, John
Draime, Doug
Drake, Lena Judith
Dromey, John H.
Duke, Jason
Duncan, Gary
Dunham, T. Fox
Dunn, Robin Wyatt
Dunwoody, David
Duxbury, Karen
Duy, Michelle
Elias, Ramsey Mark
Elliott, Beverlyn L.
Elliott, Garnett
Ellis, Asher
Ellman, Neil
England, Kellie R.
England, Kristina
Erianne, John
Erlewine, David
Espinosa, Maria
Esterholm, Jeff
Fallow, Jeff
Falo, William
Farren, Jim
Fedigan, William J.
Fenster, Timothy
Ferraro, Diana
Filas, Cameron
Flanagan, Daniel N.
Flanagan, Ryan Quinn
Folz, Crystal
Franceschina, Susan
Francisco, Edward
Funk, Matthew C.
Gallik, Daniel
Gann, Alan
Gardner, Cheryl Ann
Garvey, Kevin Z.
Genz, Brian
Gilbert, Colin
Gladeview, Lawrence
Glass, Donald
Goddard, L. B.
Godwin, Richard
Goff, Christopher
Goodman, Tina
Goss, Christopher
Gradowski, Janel
Grant, Christopher
Grant, Stewart
Greenberg, Paul
Grey, John
Grover, Michael
Gunn, Johnny
Gurney, Kenneth P.
Haglund, Tobias
Halleck, Robert
Hamlin, Mason
Hanna, J. T.
Hansen, Melissa
Hanson, Christopher Kenneth
Hanson, Kip
Hardin, J. Scott
Harrington, Jim
Harris, Bruce
Hart, GJ
Hartman, Michelle
Haskins, Chad
Hatzialexandrou, Anjelica
Hawley, Doug
Haycock, Brian
Hayes, A. J.
Hayes, John
Hayes, Peter W. J.
Heatley, Paul
Heifetz, Justin
Heimler, Heidi
Heitz, Russ
Helmsley, Fiona
Hendry, Mark
Henry, Robert Louis
Heslop, Karen
Heyns, Heather
Hilary, Sarah
Hill, Richard
Hilson, J. Robert
Hivner, Christopher
Hobbs, R. J.
Hockey, Matthew J.
Hodges, Oliver
Hodgkinson, Marie
Hogan, Andrew J.
Holderfield, Culley
Holton, Dave
Hor, Emme
Houston, Jennifer
Howard, Peter
Howells, Ann
Huchu, Tendai
Hudson, Rick
Huffman, A. J.
Huguenin, Timothy G.
Hunt, Jason
Huskey, Jason L.
Irascible, Dr. I. M.
Irwin, Daniel
Jacobson, E. J.
Jaggers, J. David
James, Christopher
James, Colin
Jensen, Steve
Johanson, Jacob
Johnson, Beau
Johnson, Moctezuma
Johnson, Zakariah
Jones, D. S.
Jones, Erin J.
Jones, Mark
Kabel, Dana
Kaplan, Barry Jay
Kay, S.
Keaton, David James
Keith, Michael C.
Kempka, Hal
Kerins, Mike
Kerry, Vic
Keshigian, Michael
Kimball R. D.
King, Michelle Ann
Kirk, D.
Klim, Christopher
Knapp, Kristen Lee
Knott, Anthony
Koenig, Michael
Korpon, Nik
Kovacs, Sandor
Kowalcyzk, Alec
Krafft, E. K.
Lacks, Lee Todd
Lang, Preston
La Rosa, F. Michael
Larkham, Jack
Leasure, Colt
Leatherwood, Roger
Lee, M.A.B.
Lees, Arlette
Lees, Lonni
Leins, Tom
LeJay, Brian K. Jr.
Lemming, Jennifer
Lerner, Steven M
Lewis, Cynthia Ruth
Lewis, LuAnn
Lifshin, Lyn
Lin, Jamie
Liskey, Tom Darin
Lodge, Oliver
Lopez, Aurelio Rico III
Lorca, Aurelia
Lo Rocco, Brian
Loucks, Lindsey
Lovisi, Gary
Lucas, Gregory E.
Lukas, Anthony
Lynch, Nulty
Lyon, Hillary
Lyons, Matthew
Mac, David
MacArthur, Jodi
Macor, Iris
Madeleine, Julia
Malone, Joe
Mann, Aiki
Manteufel, M. B.
Manzolillo, Nicholas
Marcius, Cal
Marlin, Brick
Marlowe, Jack T.
Marrotti, Michael
Martyn, Clive
Mason, Wayne
Massengill, David
Mattila, Matt
McAdams, Liz
McBride, Matthew
McCabe, Sinead
McCartney, Chris
McDaris, Catfish
McFarlane, Adam Beau
McGinley, Chris
McGinley, Jerry
McElhiney, Sean
McKim, Marci
McLean, David
McMannus, Jack
McQuiston, Rick
Mellon, Mark
Memblatt, Bruce
Memi, Samantha
Merrigan, Court
Miles, Marietta
Miller, Laurita
Miller, Max
Mintz, Gwendolyn
Monaghan, Timothy P.
Monteferrante, Luigi
Monson, Mike
Mooney, Christopher P.
Moore, Katie
Morgan, Bill W.
Morgan, Stephen
Moss, David Harry
Mullins, Ian
Mulvihill, Michael
Murdock, Franklin
Muslim, Kristine Ong
Nardolilli, Ben
Nazar, Rebecca
Nell, Dani
Nelson, Trevor
Nessly, Ray
Nester, Steven
Neuda, M. C.
Newell, Ben
Newman, Paul
Nielsen, Ayaz
Nienaber, T. M.
Ogurek, Douglas J.
Ortiz, Sergio
Pagel, Briane
Park, Jon
Parr, Rodger
Parrish, Rhonda
Partin-Nielsen, Judith
Penton, Jonathan
Perez, Juan M.
Perez, Robert Aguon
Perl, Puma
Perri, Gavin
Peterson, Rob
Peterson, Ross
Petroziello, Brian
Pettie, Jack
Petyo, Robert
Picher, Gabrielle
Piech, JC
Pierce, Rob
Pietrzykowski, Marc
Plath, Rob
Pletzers, Lee
Pluck, Thomas
Pohl, Stephen
Pointer, David
Polson, Aaron
Power, Jed
Powers, M. P.
Price, David
Priest, Ryan
Prusky, Steve
Pruitt, Eryk
Purfield, M. E.
Purkis, Gordon
Quinlan, Joseph R.
Quinn, Frank
Ram, Sri
Ramos, Emma
Rapth, Sam
Ravindra, Rudy
Rawson, Keith
Ray, Paula
Reale, Michelle
Renney, Mark
reutter, g emil
Rhatigan, Chris
Ribas, Tom
Richardson, Travis
Richey, John Lunar
Ridgeway, Kevin
Ritchie, Bob
Ritchie, Salvadore
Roberts, Paul C.
Robertson, Lee
Robinson, John D.
Robinson, Kent
Rodgers, K. M.
Roger, Frank
Rogers, Stephen D.
Rohrbacher, Chad
Rosa, Basil
Rose, Mandi
Rosenberger, Brian
Rosenblum, Mark
Rosmus, Cindy
Rowe, Brian
Rowley, Aaron
Ruhlman, Walter
Rutherford, Scotch
Saus, Steven M.
Savage, Jack
Sawyer, Mark
Sayles, Betty J.
Sayles, Ryan
Schneeweiss, Jonathan
Schraeder, E. F.
Schumejda, Rebecca
Scott, Craig
Scott, Jess C.
Scribner, Joshua
See, Tom
Seen, Calvin
Servis, Steven P.
Sethi, Sanjeev
Sexton, Rex
Seymour, J. E.
Sfarnas, John
Shafee, Fariel
Shaikh, Aftab Yusuf
Shea, Kieran
Shepherd, Robert
Sim, Anton
Simmler, T. Maxim
Sin, Natalie L.
Sinisi, J. J.
Sixsmith, JD
Slagle, Cutter
Slaviero, Susan
Sloan, Frank
Smith, Adam Francis
Smith, Ben
Smith, C.R.J.
Smith, Copper
Smith, Daniel C.
Smith, Paul
Smith, Stephanie
Smith, Willie
Smuts, Carolyn
Snethen, Daniel G.
Snoody, Elmore
So, Gerald
Sojka, Carol
Solender, Michael J.
Sortwell, Pete
Sosnoski, Karen
Sparling, George
Speed, Allen
Spicer, David
Spires, Will
Spitzer, Mark
Spuler, Rick
Squirrell, William
Stephens, Ransom
Stewart, Michael S.
Stickel, Anne
Stolec, Trina
Straus, Todd
Stryker, Joseph H.
Stucchio, Chris
Stuckey, Cinnamon
Succre, Ray
Sullivan, Thomas
Swanson, Peter
Swartz, Justin A.
Sweet, John
Tarbard, Grant
Taylor, J. M.
Thoburn, Leland
Thomas, C. T.
Thompson, John L.
Thompson, Phillip
Tillman, Stephen
Titus, Lori
Tivey, Lauren
Tobin, Tim
Todd, Jeffrey
Tolland, Timothry
Tomlinson, Brenton
Tomolillo, Bob
Tu, Andy
Ullerich, Eric
Valent, Raymond A.
Valvis, James
Vilhotti, Jerry
Waldman, Dr. Mel
Walsh, Patricia
Walters, Luke
Ward, Emma
Ward, Jared
Waters, Andrew
Weber, R.O.
Weil, Lester L.
Weir, G. Kenneth
White, J.
White, Judy Friedman
White, Robb
White, Terry
Williams, Alun
Willoughby, Megan
Wilsky, Jim
Wilson, Robley
Wilson, Scott
Wilson, Tabitha
Wright, David
Young, Mark
Young, Scot
Yuan, Changming
Zackel, Fred
Zafiro, Frank
Zapata, Angel
Zee, Carly
Zickgraf, Catherine
Zimmerman, Thomas
Znaidi, Ali

orangebikini.jpg
Art by Noelle Richardson 2018

ORANGE BIKINI

 

by Maria Espinosa

 

 

                                                                                               

He was a tall and handsome man. His voice was mellifluous as he talked about  vibrations of energy and chakra balancing as well as the benefits of a regular yoga practice.  In the pulpit of the Methodist Church in a prim San Francisco neighborhood (rented for the occasion by the East-West Meditation Center, which still lacked a home base) he spoke for forty minutes, after which he strummed on his guitar, sang a khirtan, and asked the audience to join. “Sri ram, jai ram, jai ram ram om,” Marcia sang, along with the rest of the audience, comprised mostly of women.

Afterwards she came up to him, dressed in her new turquoise summer dress with the tight-fitting bodice and low neckline, and she asked where she might study yoga. Did he give classes?  No, he said, not yet, although that was in the offing. But he did teach privately.

The next day she showed up at his apartment.  Because she had just been fired from her last job, she had free time.  What would she wear for the lesson?  Her unflattering shorts?  Leotard tights?  It was June, and the day was hot and sunny. She decided on her bikini.  It was a soft shade of orange. Later, when she entered his apartment, she saw that the loincloth he wore was the same shade. What a coincidence! They were attuned on some level, she decided.  And how well muscled he was. Even more handsome with fewer clothes—as she, too, was also more attractive scantily clad. Thank God for her firm body.  At twenty-five, she religiously practiced her modern dance exercises each morning.  They had helped her through child birth and now they helped keep her limber, keep her slender despite the heavy commute driving and work schedule she’d had until last week.

She felt blissfully unconcerned about the firing. Unemployment would kick in!  Vacation time! Her baby daughter at the sitter’s, a saintly woman who took Carmelita in at 6:00 a.m. and sometimes even kept her overnight when Marcia would be out late or entertaining a lover.

It was 1965. Free love. The Pill. “Let’s do it in the road,” sang the Beatles. Marcia had many lovers, after evenings of parties which featured brown rice and marijuana. Or the No Name Bar in Sausalito, which she thought of as her own special private club.  There she might weep on a stranger’s shoulder—and after a while they all knew each other more or less, the black sheep who received monthly remittances from families hoping to keep them at bay, the artists, the semi-legal French immigrants, the small-time and big-time drug dealers, the attorneys who considered themselves creative or laid back or liberal.  There she could sip Irish coffees (usually some kind stranger would end up footing the bill) and talk with her friends, which included a few women who were adrift like her.  Mimi, the charming New Orleans tarot reader was one.  Adriana, from Cuba, sincere, searching, disillusioned with the Church, was another.  Then there was Joyce, who claimed that she had gone home with a different man each night…until she found The One.

          Now Marcia had free time.  And she planned to enjoy it.

          His apartment was somewhat luxurious with its rich deep blue carpet, its beige sofas, and a tiger skin rug from India. Translucent white curtains fluttered in the breeze which blew through opened windows. Light traffic sounded from Clement Street below.

A polished antique dining table and sideboard in an alcove off the living room.  His bedroom, with its large bed, a purple satin comforter.  The sunny kitchen. The bathroom with its small black and white tiles of decades ago, and a lingering scent of incense.

          In the bedroom – door closed for privacy—she slipped off her dress and underwear, put on her bikini, and then stepped barefoot into the living room. He, too, was barefoot, in his orange loin cloth.  Around his upper right arm he wore thick metal coils of gold, silver, and copper.

          Let us begin, he said.

          He started with the Tree Pose and took her through some basic asanas. She was thrilled.  This was her very first exposure to yoga, and in 1965 it was still considered somewhat exotic.

          How limber you are, he said.  His azure blue eyes beamed approval.

          She asked about his arm bracelets.

          They are protective, he said. Yogananda suggested that I wear them.

Yogananda was his guru, his guide. Yogananda, he said, had given direction and blessing and purpose to his life.

          Afterwards they sat silently in meditation, he on the tiger skin, and she on the carpet.  Then he made her breakfast of chappatis, Indian wheatcakes, which he flipped skillfully in a frying pan. I use only ghee or clarified butter, he said.

She had brought him an offering of canned pineapple juice.  He regarded it with contempt. Canned, he said. I never eat anything out of cans. 

His parents, he said, paid for the apartment, and in return, they came to stay overnight once or twice a month. They lived in the south bay in Atherton. His father was a retired oil executive, and he himself was a monk. He had taken vows of abstinence, at Yogananda’s urging.

After breakfast, he asked if she would massage his shoulders, which had been stiff lately. 

How smooth his skin felt beneath her fingers.

Sex, he said, diverts the energy flow. With kriya—a technique I will show you when you are ready—the energy flows upwards from the lower chakras, and sexual energy is transformed, alchemized.

And yet how smooth he felt beneath her fingers.

And after she had massaged his shoulders, his neck, his upper arms, he drew her to him and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Of course, after several yoga sessions, they ended up in his bed.

Sometimes, he said, it is better to release sexual energy.  Frustration and inhibition can create harm within the body.

But he was still a monk.

          His parents were coming to visit, he announced one afternoon after a tryst in bed. You must leave.  She was tempted to drop a few bobby pins on the floor of the guest bathroom, leave her panties wedged beneath the sofa cushions.  Yet she simply left, taking with her all traces of her presence, leaving nothing behind except for a faint aroma of Jean Nate.


Maria Espinosa managed to get expelled from Harvard, and has lived  most of her life in the San Francisco Bay Area. A recent transplant to New Mexico, she feels that her roots are finally beginning to penetrate the hard, dry desert earth. Maria has published two several award-winning novels. They include Longing, Dying Unfinished, Incognito: Journey of a Secret Jew, and an earlier novel, of which she rarely speaks, Dark Plums, about a Manhattan prostitute. Since then, she has completed another novel, not yet published, and has begun a sixth. Website: www.mariaespinosa.com

In Association with Fossil Publications