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Walter Ruhlman
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Outing

by Walter Ruhlman



The parking lot was dim and the street lamps shaded by trees,
the outlines of the castle—imposing its hugeness—an uncanny décor.

After a day at work
baking pizza
peeling apples
or cooking beef
breathing fresh air, smoking a fag on the ramparts while the cruising ghostly figures passed by, became something I could not do without.

One night the devil cast his shadow over there
and sent one of his cruellest whores:
a white hustler, Italian-like, some brown-haired sprite.

He lived nearby and I made out he was married:
another so-called bisexual,
a fake straight guy demanding fun.

We fucked
but I mistook his intentions and as I left, I noted his address.
It was easy then to find out his phone number— yet another shameful secret.

I rang him once, the answering machine broadcast a female voice.
I left a word, like “Hey! Mate! Remember me, my ass, my dick, my eyes?”

Some time later coming from work I heard my mother calling me.
The bastard had sent an anonymous letter to my father.
A press clip showing his only true son surrounded by fat dykes and puffs.
I had also been interviewed to share my views on the advances of the queers.

No denial
no tears, no cries, only low eyes in the morning, no one ever talked about it.
Two months later, England became my new shelter.


Walter Ruhlmann works as an English teacher, edits
mgversion2>datura and runs mgv2>publishing. Walter is the author of several poetry chapbooks and e-books in French and English and has published poems and fiction in various printed and electronic publications world wide. Nominated for Pushcart Prize once.
His blog
http://lorchideenoctambule.hautetfort.com

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