Yellow Mama Archives

James Coffey
Home
Adair, Jay
Adhikari, Sudeep
Ahern, Edward
Aldrich, Janet M.
Allan, T. N.
Allen, M. G.
Ammonds, Phillip J.
Anderson, Fred
Anderson, Peter
Andreopoulos, Elliott
Arab, Bint
Armstrong, Dini
Augustyn, P. K.
Aymar, E. A.
Babbs, James
Baber, Bill
Bagwell, Dennis
Bailey, Ashley
Bailey, Thomas
Baird, Meg
Bakala, Brendan
Baker, Nathan
Balaz, Joe
BAM
Barber, Shannon
Barker, Tom
Barlow, Tom
Bates, Jack
Bayly, Karen
Baugh, Darlene
Bauman, Michael
Baumgartner, Jessica Marie
Beale, Jonathan
Beck, George
Beckman, Paul
Benet, Esme
Bennett, Brett
Bennett, Charlie
Bennett, D. V.
Benton, Ralph
Berg, Carly
Berman, Daniel
Bernardara, Will Jr.
Berriozabal, Luis
Beveridge, Robert
Bickerstaff, Russ
Bigney, Tyler
Blackwell, C. W.
Bladon, Henry
Blake, Steven
Blakey, James
Bohem, Charlie Keys and Les
Bonner, Kim
Booth, Brenton
Boski, David
Bougger, Jason
Boyd, A. V.
Boyd, Morgan
Boyle, James
Bracey, DG
Brewka-Clark, Nancy
Britt, Alan
Broccoli, Jimmy
Brooke, j
Brown, R. Thomas
Brown, Sam
Bruce, K. Marvin
Bryson, Kathleen
Burke, Wayne F.
Burnwell, Otto
Burton, Michael
Bushtalov, Denis
Butcher, Jonathan
Butkowski, Jason
Butler, Terence
Cameron, W. B.
Campbell, J. J.
Campbell, Jack Jr.
Cano, Valentina
Cardinale, Samuel
Cardoza, Dan A.
Carlton, Bob
Carr, Jennifer
Cartwright, Steve
Carver, Marc
Castle, Chris
Catlin, Alan
Centorbi, David
Chesler, Adam
Christensen, Jan
Clausen, Daniel
Clevenger, Victor
Clifton, Gary
Cmileski, Sue
Cody, Bethany
Coey, Jack
Coffey, James
Colasuonno, Alfonso
Condora, Maddisyn
Conley, Jen
Connor, Tod
Cooper, Malcolm Graham
Copes, Matthew
Coral, Jay
Corrigan, Mickey J.
Cosby, S. A.
Costello, Bruce
Cotton, Mark
Coverley, Harris
Crandall, Rob
Criscuolo, Carla
Crist, Kenneth
Cross, Thomas X.
Cumming, Scott
D., Jack
Dallett, Cassandra
Danoski, Joseph V.
Daly, Sean
Davies, J. C.
Davis, Christopher
Davis, Michael D.
Day, Holly
de Bruler, Connor
Degani, Gay
De France, Steve
De La Garza, Lela Marie
Deming, Ruth Z.
Demmer, Calvin
De Neve, M. A.
Dennehy, John W.
DeVeau, Spencer
Di Chellis, Peter
Dillon, John J.
DiLorenzo, Ciro
Dilworth, Marcy
Dioguardi, Michael Anthony
Dionne, Ron
Dobson, Melissa
Domenichini, John
Dominelli, Rob
Doran, Phil
Doreski, William
Dority, Michael
Dorman, Roy
Doherty, Rachel
Dosser, Jeff
Doyle, Jacqueline
Doyle, John
Draime, Doug
Drake, Lena Judith
Dromey, John H.
Dubal, Paul Michael
Duke, Jason
Duncan, Gary
Dunham, T. Fox
Duschesneau, Pauline
Dunn, Robin Wyatt
Duxbury, Karen
Duy, Michelle
Eade, Kevin
Ebel, Pamela
Elliott, Garnett
Ellman, Neil
England, Kristina
Erianne, John
Espinosa, Maria
Esterholm, Jeff
Fabian, R. Gerry
Fallow, Jeff
Farren, Jim
Fedolfi, Leon
Fenster, Timothy
Ferraro, Diana
Filas, Cameron
Fillion, Tom
Fishbane, Craig
Fisher, Miles Ryan
Flanagan, Daniel N.
Flanagan, Ryan Quinn
Flynn, Jay
Fortunato, Chris
Francisco, Edward
Frank, Tim
Fugett, Brian
Funk, Matthew C.
Gann, Alan
Gardner, Cheryl Ann
Garvey, Kevin Z.
Gay, Sharon Frame
Gentile, Angelo
Genz, Brian
Giersbach, Walter
Gladeview, Lawrence
Glass, Donald
Goddard, L. B.
Godwin, Richard
Goff, Christopher
Golds, Stephen J.
Goss, Christopher
Gradowski, Janel
Graham, Sam
Grant, Christopher
Grant, Stewart
Greenberg, K.J. Hannah
Greenberg, Paul
Grey, John
Guirand, Leyla
Gunn, Johnny
Gurney, Kenneth P.
Hagerty, David
Haglund, Tobias
Halleck, Robert
Hamlin, Mason
Hansen, Vinnie
Hanson, Christopher Kenneth
Hanson, Kip
Harrington, Jim
Harris, Bruce
Hart, GJ
Hartman, Michelle
Hartwell, Janet
Haskins, Chad
Hawley, Doug
Haycock, Brian
Hayes, A. J.
Hayes, John
Hayes, Peter W. J.
Heatley, Paul
Heimler, Heidi
Helmsley, Fiona
Hendry, Mark
Heslop, Karen
Heyns, Heather
Hilary, Sarah
Hill, Richard
Hivner, Christopher
Hockey, Matthew J.
Hogan, Andrew J.
Holderfield, Culley
Holton, Dave
Houlahan, Jeff
Howells, Ann
Hoy, J. L.
Huchu, Tendai
Hudson, Rick
Huffman, A. J.
Huguenin, Timothy G.
Huskey, Jason L.
Ippolito, Curtis
Irascible, Dr. I. M.
Jaggers, J. David
James, Christopher
Jarrett, Nigel
Jayne, Serena
Johnson, Beau
Johnson, Moctezuma
Johnson, Zakariah
Jones, D. S.
Jones, Erin J.
Jones, Mark
Kabel, Dana
Kaiser, Alison
Kanach, A.
Kaplan, Barry Jay
Kay, S.
Keaton, David James
Kempka, Hal
Kerins, Mike
Keshigian, Michael
Kevlock, Mark Joseph
King, Michelle Ann
Kirk, D.
Kitcher, William
Knott, Anthony
Koenig, Michael
Kokan, Bob
Kolarik, Andrew J.
Korpon, Nik
Kovacs, Norbert
Kovacs, Sandor
Kowalcyzk, Alec
Krafft, E. K.
Kunz, Dave
Lacks, Lee Todd
Lang, Preston
Larkham, Jack
La Rosa, F. Michael
Leasure, Colt
Leatherwood, Roger
LeDue, Richard
Lees, Arlette
Lees, Lonni
Leins, Tom
Lemieux, Michael
Lemming, Jennifer
Lerner, Steven M
Leverone, Allan
Levine, Phyllis Peterson
Lewis, Cynthia Ruth
Lewis, LuAnn
Licht, Matthew
Lifshin, Lyn
Lilley, James
Liskey, Tom Darin
Lodge, Oliver
Lopez, Aurelio Rico III
Lorca, Aurelia
Lovisi, Gary
Lubaczewski, Paul
Lucas, Gregory E.
Lukas, Anthony
Lynch, Nulty
Lyon, Hillary
Lyons, Matthew
Mac, David
MacArthur, Jodi
Malone, Joe
Mann, Aiki
Manthorne, Julian
Manzolillo, Nicholas
Marcius, Cal
Marrotti, Michael
Mason, Wayne
Mathews, Bobby
Mattila, Matt
Matulich, Joel
McAdams, Liz
McCaffrey, Stanton
McCartney, Chris
McDaris, Catfish
McFarlane, Adam Beau
McGinley, Chris
McGinley, Jerry
McElhiney, Sean
McJunkin, Ambrose
McKim, Marci
McMannus, Jack
McQuiston, Rick
Mellon, Mark
Memi, Samantha
Middleton, Bradford
Miles, Marietta
Miller, Max
Minihan, Jeremiah
Montagna, Mitchel
Monson, Mike
Mooney, Christopher P.
Moran, Jacqueline M.
Morgan, Bill W.
Moss, David Harry
Mullins, Ian
Mulvihill, Michael
Muslim, Kristine Ong
Nardolilli, Ben
Nelson, Trevor
Nessly, Ray
Nester, Steven
Neuda, M. C.
Newell, Ben
Newman, Paul
Nielsen, Ayaz
Nobody, Ed
Nore, Abe
Numann, Randy
Ogurek, Douglas J.
O'Keefe, Sean
Orrico, Connor
Ortiz, Sergio
Pagel, Briane
Park, Jon
Parks, Garr
Parr, Rodger
Parrish, Rhonda
Partin-Nielsen, Judith
Peralez, R.
Perez, Juan M.
Perez, Robert Aguon
Peterson, Ross
Petroziello, Brian
Petska, Darrell
Pettie, Jack
Petyo, Robert
Phillips, Matt
Picher, Gabrielle
Pierce, Curtis
Pierce, Rob
Pietrzykowski, Marc
Plath, Rob
Pointer, David
Post, John
Powell, David
Power, Jed
Powers, M. P.
Praseth, Ram
Prazych, Richard
Priest, Ryan
Prusky, Steve
Pruitt, Eryk
Purfield, M. E.
Purkis, Gordon
Quinlan, Joseph R.
Quinn, Frank
Rabas, Kevin
Ragan, Robert
Ram, Sri
Rapth, Sam
Ravindra, Rudy
Reich, Betty
Renney, Mark
reutter, g emil
Rhatigan, Chris
Rhiel, Ann Marie
Ribshman, Kevin
Ricchiuti, Andrew
Richardson, Travis
Richey, John Lunar
Ridgeway, Kevin
Rihlmann, Brian
Ritchie, Bob
Ritchie, Salvadore
Robinson, John D.
Robinson, Kent
Rodgers, K. M.
Roger, Frank
Rose, Mandi
Rose, Mick
Rosenberger, Brian
Rosenblum, Mark
Rosmus, Cindy
Rowland, C. A.
Ruhlman, Walter
Rutherford, Scotch
Sahms, Diane
Saier, Monique
Salinas, Alex
Sanders, Isabelle
Sanders, Sebnem
Santo, Heather
Savage, Jack
Sayles, Betty J.
Schauber, Karen
Schneeweiss, Jonathan
Schraeder, E. F.
Schumejda, Rebecca
See, Tom
Sethi, Sanjeev
Sexton, Rex
Seymour, J. E.
Shaikh, Aftab Yusuf
Sheagren, Gerald E.
Shepherd, Robert
Shirey, D. L.
Shore, Donald D.
Short, John
Sim, Anton
Simmler, T. Maxim
Simpson, Henry
Sinisi, J. J.
Sixsmith, JD
Slagle, Cutter
Slaviero, Susan
Sloan, Frank
Small, Alan Edward
Smith, Brian J.
Smith, Ben
Smith, C.R.J.
Smith, Copper
Smith, Greg
Smith, Elena E.
Smith, Ian C.
Smith, Paul
Smith, Stephanie
Smith, Willie
Smuts, Carolyn
Snethen, Daniel G.
Snoody, Elmore
Sojka, Carol
Solender, Michael J.
Sortwell, Pete
Sparling, George
Spicer, David
Squirrell, William
Stanton, Henry G.
Steven, Michael
Stevens, J. B.
Stewart, Michael S.
Stickel, Anne
Stoler, Cathi
Stolec, Trina
Stoll, Don
Stryker, Joseph H.
Stucchio, Chris
Succre, Ray
Sullivan, Thomas
Surkiewicz, Joe
Swanson, Peter
Swartz, Justin A.
Sweet, John
Tarbard, Grant
Tait, Alyson
Taylor, J. M.
Thompson, John L.
Thompson, Phillip
Thrax, Max
Ticktin, Ruth
Tillman, Stephen
Titus, Lori
Tivey, Lauren
Tobin, Tim
Torrence, Ron
Tu, Andy
Turner, Lamont A.
Tustin, John
Ullerich, Eric
Valent, Raymond A.
Valvis, James
Vilhotti, Jerry
Waldman, Dr. Mel
Walker, Dustin
Walsh, Patricia
Walters, Luke
Ward, Emma
Washburn, Joseph
Watt, Max
Weber, R.O.
Weil, Lester L.
White, Judy Friedman
White, Robb
White, Terry
Wickham, Alice
Wilhide, Zach
Williams, K. A.
Wilsky, Jim
Wilson, Robley
Wilson, Tabitha
Woodland, Francis
Woods, Jonathan
Young, Mark
Yuan, Changming
Zackel, Fred
Zafiro, Frank
Zapata, Angel
Zee, Carly
Zeigler, Martin
Zimmerman, Thomas
Butler, Simon Hardy

A Blunt Instrument

 

by James Coffey

 

 

As I fell to unconsciousness, I conjectured that the blow had been delivered with a blunt instrument.

I awoke with my arms bound to the arms and my legs bound to the legs of a wooden chair. Sitting opposite was a gleaming muscle-bound thug with shaven head and pungent halitosis. He wore a tattoo of SS Das Reich on his chest and introduced himself as Gregor. He held my credit card in front of my face and demanded my security number as he twisted my testicles with his other hand.

Finding myself in this very great strait, I adopted a trusted ruse and sobbed enthusiastically and, I hoped, pitifully.  

At this juncture, Imelda entered the room, no doubt to burnish her betrayal of me with further treachery. She ordered the brute Gregor to desist and gave him my security number, to which she was privy, and dispatched him to do his worst.

Fearing that Imelda’s mind was incensed against me and that some new degradation would now be visited upon me, I sobbed with renewed vigor.

But lo, Imelda, with soothing words dried my tears and stroked my face. She spoke of the delicacy of our relationship, the nuances of which were our own special secret which lay far beyond the understanding of the oaf Gregor.  As she cut me free, she opined that she had known all along that what I truly wished was to be her slave, to subordinate myself with restraint, but without reservation, to her desires.

As she held my head to her ample bosom, she counseled me to avoid the petty jealousies which I am subject to and to dedicate myself to satisfying her needs, the most pressing of which was that I should proceed to clean and polish the kitchen and hall floor and then attend to the washing up.

Thereupon, I fell to my tasks with bridled relish.

The dunderhead Gregor returned and deposited the parcels and bags he had bought with my credit card on the front porch, just as a young policeman arrived.

I could not but notice a teasing familiarity between the young officer and Imelda, who shrank coquettishly under his lascivious gaze. I was entirely unprepared for these events, attired as I was in Imelda’s red leather pinafore and carrying a bottle of cleaning fluid in one hand and a sponge in the other as the numbskull Gregor issued dark threats against me, whilst simultaneously protesting both his innocence and his undying love for Imelda.

Emboldened by the presence of the police officer, I pointed out that I was the injured party in this affair, but this only served to inflame Gregor’s anger.

 

Eventually, the police officer took Gregor away, and I was free to resume my housework.

On reflection, and cowardice being the strongest of my character traits, I resolved to forgo my pleasures and be away before the murderous Gregor returned. I announced this to Imelda, as I put on my coat and made to open the front door.

There was just enough time to conjecture whether Gregor or Imelda had delivered the blow, probably with a blunt object, though it might have been a police baton, as I fell to unconsciousness on the newly polished hall floor.







slightdisposition.jpg
Art by Cindy Rosmus © 2017

A Slight Disposition

 

by James Coffey

 

 

He knows, he definitely knows. Stop it. You’ll give yourself away. I can’t stop looking at the patch of earth. That’s what you want, isn’t it, to give yourself away?

“You’re quite sure?”

“What? Yes. Quite sure.”

I can smell her body. He must be able to smell it, too. Tell the truth. She's dead, but you didn’t kill her. I must have been slightly mad. Yes that's it, I suffer from a slight disposition, you see and the drugs we took affected my mind. I’ll say I panicked when I woke beside her dead body. That’s it, I panicked, yes.

 “Not at work today, sir?”

 "What?"

"I asked if you are due at work today."

"I'm not well. I have this slight disposition, you see."

"Disposition, sir?"

Her body will be a suppurating mass of larvae by now. I bet he can smell it. I can. When I woke from the nightmare, she lay dead beside me. I started to bury her, but that’s when the sickness came over me, and I put her in the shed. I bet he can smell it. Why did I bring him out to the patio? So that he would smell it, of course; so that you’d be caught.

“It’s nothing serious.”

"I see you've been gardening."

He knows! My life is over. What will the neighbors think? They’ll say I drugged, raped, and killed her. Imagine the headlines. You’ll go to prison for years. Think of what they’ll do to you in prison. No, whatever you do, don’t think about that.

"I was gardening when I became unwell,” I say pitifully. The shed door is ajar.

"You should see a doctor."

"Really, I’ll be fine." I closed the door behind me. Are you sure? Of course I’m sure. I mean really sure. I said I’m sure.

 "The description means nothing to you?"

He's trying to trap me.

  "Nothing at all, I'm sorry."

“This is a nice garden."

He keeps going on about the garden.

"Has she has been reported missing?"

  "She was found wandering along the High Street some nights ago. No recollection of what has happened to her or who she is. Drugs you see, people don't realize the dangers. Well, if anything comes to mind, you'll contact me?"

"Of course, yes."

Immediately he had gone, I ran to the shed and opened the door. The shed was empty! Oh, how I cried, as I dropped to my knees in a daze of happiness. I had not killed her. Then my phone rang: it was her.

“Gee, what a night that was, and boy am I’m missing you, now.  But we’ll be together again soon, I promise you that.”

I ended the call. My God, will I never be rid of this woman? Then came the memory of her face, her eyes, her lips, and her body pressed against me. The doorbell rang, and in fevered anticipation, I ran to answer it. It was the detective. He held an earring in his hand.

“I found this by your front gate. Our mystery woman was wearing the other one. I’m told she has discharged herself from hospital. Perhaps she might call round to collect her earring?

What do you think?”

  I stood speechless, and then felt my tears falling “I didn’t do anything. I’m innocent.  It wasn’t my fault,” I snivel, “Not . . . my . . . fault,” I drivel.

“Your disposition seems to have worsened,” he said. “Perhaps you’d like to talk about it?”





James Coffey lives and works in Coventry, England. He started writing short stories some years ago and enjoys the challenge of trying to say as much as possible in as few words as possible. He has been published in Linnets Wings, Apocrypha & Abstraction, Yellow Mama, Molotov Cocktail, and Dogzplot.

In Association with Fossil Publications