Yellow Mama Archives

Diana Ferraro
Adhikari, Sudeep
Ahern, Edward
Aldrich, Janet M.
Allan, T. N.
Allen, M. G.
Ammonds, Phillip J.
Anderson, Peter
Andreopoulos, Elliott
Arab, Bint
Armstrong, Dini
Augustyn, P. K.
Aymar, E. A.
Babbs, James
Baber, Bill
Bagwell, Dennis
Bailey, Ashley
Bailey, Thomas
Baird, Meg
Bakala, Brendan
Baker, Nathan
Balaz, Joe
Barber, Shannon
Barker, Tom
Barlow, Tom
Bates, Jack
Bayly, Karen
Baugh, Darlene
Bauman, Michael
Baumgartner, Jessica Marie
Beale, Jonathan
Beck, George
Beckman, Paul
Benet, Esme
Bennett, Brett
Bennett, Charlie
Bennett, D. V.
Benton, Ralph
Berg, Carly
Berman, Daniel
Bernardara, Will Jr.
Berriozabal, Luis
Beveridge, Robert
Bickerstaff, Russ
Bigney, Tyler
Bladon, Henry
Blake, Steven
Bohem, Charlie Keys and Les
Booth, Brenton
Boski, David
Bougger, Jason
Boyd, A. V.
Boyd, Morgan
Bracey, DG
Brewka-Clark, Nancy
Britt, Alan
Brooke, j
Brown, R. Thomas
Brown, Sam
Burke, Wayne F.
Burnwell, Otto
Burton, Michael
Bushtalov, Denis
Butcher, Jonathan
Butkowski, Jason
Butler, Simon Hardy
Butler, Terence
Cameron, W. B.
Campbell, J. J.
Campbell, Jack Jr.
Cano, Valentina
Cardinale, Samuel
Carlton, Bob
Carr, Jennifer
Cartwright, Steve
Carver, Marc
Castle, Chris
Catlin, Alan
Chesler, Adam
Clausen, Daniel
Clevenger, Victor
Clifton, Gary
Cmileski, Sue
Coey, Jack
Coffey, James
Colasuonno, Alfonso
Condora, Maddisyn
Conley, Jen
Connor, Tod
Cooper, Malcolm Graham
Coral, Jay
Cosby, S. A.
Costello, Bruce
Cotton, Mark
Crandall, Rob
Criscuolo, Carla
Crist, Kenneth
D., Jack
Dallett, Cassandra
Danoski, Joseph V.
Daly, Sean
Davis, Christopher
Davis, Michael D.
Day, Holly
de Bruler, Connor
Degani, Gay
De France, Steve
De La Garza, Lela Marie
Deming, Ruth Z.
Demmer, Calvin
De Neve, M. A.
Dennehy, John W.
DeVeau, Spencer
Di Chellis, Peter
DiLorenzo, Ciro
Dilworth, Marcy
Dionne, Ron
Dobson, Melissa
Domenichini, John
Dominelli, Rob
Doran, Phil
Doreski, William
Dorman, Roy
Doherty, Rachel
Dosser, Jeff
Doyle, John
Draime, Doug
Drake, Lena Judith
Dromey, John H.
Dubal, Paul Michael
Duke, Jason
Duncan, Gary
Dunham, T. Fox
Duschesneau, Pauline
Dunn, Robin Wyatt
Duxbury, Karen
Duy, Michelle
Eade, Kevin
Elliott, Garnett
Ellman, Neil
England, Kristina
Erianne, John
Espinosa, Maria
Esterholm, Jeff
Fallow, Jeff
Farren, Jim
Fenster, Timothy
Ferraro, Diana
Filas, Cameron
Fillion, Tom
Fisher, Miles Ryan
Flanagan, Daniel N.
Flanagan, Ryan Quinn
Francisco, Edward
Frank, Tim
Funk, Matthew C.
Gann, Alan
Gardner, Cheryl Ann
Garvey, Kevin Z.
Gay, Sharon Frame
Gentile, Angelo
Genz, Brian
Giersbach, Walter
Gladeview, Lawrence
Glass, Donald
Goddard, L. B.
Godwin, Richard
Goff, Christopher
Goss, Christopher
Gradowski, Janel
Graham, Sam
Grant, Christopher
Grant, Stewart
Greenberg, K.J. Hannah
Greenberg, Paul
Grey, John
Guirand, Leyla
Gunn, Johnny
Gurney, Kenneth P.
Haglund, Tobias
Halleck, Robert
Hamlin, Mason
Hanson, Christopher Kenneth
Hanson, Kip
Harrington, Jim
Harris, Bruce
Hart, GJ
Hartman, Michelle
Hartwell, Janet
Haskins, Chad
Hawley, Doug
Haycock, Brian
Hayes, A. J.
Hayes, John
Hayes, Peter W. J.
Heatley, Paul
Heimler, Heidi
Helmsley, Fiona
Hendry, Mark
Heslop, Karen
Heyns, Heather
Hilary, Sarah
Hill, Richard
Hivner, Christopher
Hockey, Matthew J.
Hogan, Andrew J.
Holderfield, Culley
Holton, Dave
Houlahan, Jeff
Howells, Ann
Hoy, J. L.
Huchu, Tendai
Hudson, Rick
Huffman, A. J.
Huguenin, Timothy G.
Huskey, Jason L.
Irascible, Dr. I. M.
Jaggers, J. David
James, Christopher
Johnson, Beau
Johnson, Moctezuma
Johnson, Zakariah
Jones, D. S.
Jones, Erin J.
Jones, Mark
Kabel, Dana
Kaplan, Barry Jay
Kay, S.
Keaton, David James
Kempka, Hal
Kerins, Mike
Keshigian, Michael
Kevlock, Mark Joseph
King, Michelle Ann
Kirk, D.
Knott, Anthony
Koenig, Michael
Kokan, Bob
Korpon, Nik
Kovacs, Norbert
Kovacs, Sandor
Kowalcyzk, Alec
Krafft, E. K.
Lacks, Lee Todd
Lang, Preston
Larkham, Jack
La Rosa, F. Michael
Leasure, Colt
Leatherwood, Roger
Lees, Arlette
Lees, Lonni
Leins, Tom
Lemieux, Michael
Lemming, Jennifer
Lerner, Steven M
Lewis, Cynthia Ruth
Lewis, LuAnn
Licht, Matthew
Lifshin, Lyn
Liskey, Tom Darin
Lodge, Oliver
Lopez, Aurelio Rico III
Lorca, Aurelia
Lovisi, Gary
Lubaczewski, Paul
Lucas, Gregory E.
Lukas, Anthony
Lynch, Nulty
Lyon, Hillary
Lyons, Matthew
Mac, David
MacArthur, Jodi
Malone, Joe
Mann, Aiki
Manzolillo, Nicholas
Marcius, Cal
Marrotti, Michael
Mason, Wayne
Mattila, Matt
McAdams, Liz
McCaffrey, Stanton
McCartney, Chris
McDaris, Catfish
McFarlane, Adam Beau
McGinley, Chris
McGinley, Jerry
McElhiney, Sean
McJunkin, Ambrose
McKim, Marci
McMannus, Jack
McQuiston, Rick
Mellon, Mark
Memi, Samantha
Middleton, Bradford
Miles, Marietta
Miller, Max
Minihan, Jeremiah
Montagna, Mitchel
Monson, Mike
Mooney, Christopher P.
Moran, Jacqueline M.
Morgan, Bill W.
Moss, David Harry
Mullins, Ian
Mulvihill, Michael
Muslim, Kristine Ong
Nardolilli, Ben
Nelson, Trevor
Nessly, Ray
Nester, Steven
Neuda, M. C.
Newell, Ben
Newman, Paul
Nielsen, Ayaz
Nore, Abe
Numann, Randy
Ogurek, Douglas J.
O'Keefe, Sean
Ortiz, Sergio
Pagel, Briane
Park, Jon
Parr, Rodger
Parrish, Rhonda
Partin-Nielsen, Judith
Peralez, R.
Perez, Juan M.
Perez, Robert Aguon
Peterson, Ross
Petroziello, Brian
Pettie, Jack
Petyo, Robert
Phillips, Matt
Picher, Gabrielle
Pierce, Rob
Pietrzykowski, Marc
Plath, Rob
Pointer, David
Post, John
Powell, David
Power, Jed
Powers, M. P.
Praseth, Ram
Prazych, Richard
Prusky, Steve
Pruitt, Eryk
Purfield, M. E.
Purkis, Gordon
Quinlan, Joseph R.
Quinn, Frank
Rabas, Kevin
Ragan, Robert
Ram, Sri
Rapth, Sam
Ravindra, Rudy
Renney, Mark
reutter, g emil
Rhatigan, Chris
Rhiel, Ann Marie
Richardson, Travis
Richey, John Lunar
Ridgeway, Kevin
Rihlmann, Brian
Ritchie, Bob
Ritchie, Salvadore
Robinson, John D.
Robinson, Kent
Rodgers, K. M.
Roger, Frank
Rose, Mandi
Rose, Mick
Rosenberger, Brian
Rosenblum, Mark
Rosmus, Cindy
Ruhlman, Walter
Rutherford, Scotch
Saier, Monique
Salinas, Alex
Sanders, Isabelle
Sanders, Sebnem
Santo, Heather
Savage, Jack
Sayles, Betty J.
Schauber, Karen
Schneeweiss, Jonathan
Schraeder, E. F.
Schumejda, Rebecca
See, Tom
Sethi, Sanjeev
Sexton, Rex
Seymour, J. E.
Shaikh, Aftab Yusuf
Sheagren, Gerald E.
Shepherd, Robert
Shirey, D. L.
Shore, Donald D.
Short, John
Sim, Anton
Simmler, T. Maxim
Simpson, Henry
Sinisi, J. J.
Sixsmith, JD
Slagle, Cutter
Slaviero, Susan
Sloan, Frank
Small, Alan Edward
Smith, Brian J.
Smith, Ben
Smith, C.R.J.
Smith, Copper
Smith, Greg
Smith, Paul
Smith, Stephanie
Smith, Willie
Smuts, Carolyn
Snethen, Daniel G.
Snoody, Elmore
Sojka, Carol
Solender, Michael J.
Sortwell, Pete
Sparling, George
Spicer, David
Squirrell, William
Stanton, Henry G.
Stewart, Michael S.
Stickel, Anne
Stolec, Trina
Stoll, Don
Stryker, Joseph H.
Stucchio, Chris
Succre, Ray
Sullivan, Thomas
Swanson, Peter
Swartz, Justin A.
Sweet, John
Tarbard, Grant
Taylor, J. M.
Thompson, John L.
Thompson, Phillip
Ticktin, Ruth
Tillman, Stephen
Titus, Lori
Tivey, Lauren
Tobin, Tim
Torrence, Ron
Tu, Andy
Ullerich, Eric
Valent, Raymond A.
Valvis, James
Vilhotti, Jerry
Waldman, Dr. Mel
Walsh, Patricia
Walters, Luke
Ward, Emma
Washburn, Joseph
Watt, Max
Weber, R.O.
Weil, Lester L.
White, Judy Friedman
White, Robb
White, Terry
Wickham, Alice
Wilsky, Jim
Wilson, Robley
Wilson, Tabitha
Woodland, Francis
Young, Mark
Yuan, Changming
Zackel, Fred
Zafiro, Frank
Zapata, Angel
Zee, Carly
Zimmerman, Thomas

Art by Lonni Lees, 2012










There you are, your bearded face slightly swollen by the lens, answering with your deepest voice to the interviewer that your favorite quality is honesty and, you add, maybe also generosity. You explain then something about honesty, you deploy meanings of selfishness; on television, you convince. It’s nice that we both are public figures, we get to see ourselves in the news, we hear about the last thing we did on the radio, we read our updated biography on papers and magazines; much better than having to ask common friends or to pick up the phone and humiliate ourselves by showing an interest we would hate to divulge.

 I watch the interview while I peel onions, and before you ask, yes, I still cook a quiche once a week and yes, I still wear my old pink apron with torn ruffles. Now the reporter asks you, because your last film has a political edge, about commitment, and you smile; you swore the flag as a soldier, you swore to be faithful to your country and, you assure with your dark eyes glowing with pride, you honored the pledge, and words like loyalty and faithfulness come to your mouth. You say that you have also been faithful to your women, and then you add, unnecessarily, while you loved them.

You are not requested to explain why people can have a lifelong love for their country and not for a woman; the interviewer changes the subject and the speech on belonging is postponed. But the fact is there: you have said that a woman doesn’t deserve the same honesty, the same generosity a country does. For you, honesty doesn’t go that far, nor does generosity. I return to my onions, I chop them, then I put some butter in a frying pan, a spoon of olive oil, and I start frying them. To cook has this type of reward: no matter what is happening in the outside world, you are only concerned with succeeding the meal. Something else has replaced you now on the screen and I switch to a music channel where Sinatra uses his proverbial good timing to assure that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage, and I light a cigarette; yes, I started smoking again.

 I am prone to conclusions tonight, now that I have seen you in your best shape, giving moral advice. I didn’t quite understand what you had to say about your film and the global warming, the war and elections, and all those issues about which movie directors have an opinion because you know all, as we actresses feel all. I feel now, for instance, that I have lost my usual impulse to kill you every time I see you. I am only using now a self destructive cigarette, you see; no knives, no loaded guns, no arrows, no sword, grenade, atomic bomb or poison.

 I poisoned a quiche once, but you didn’t notice; you only thought I was queer wanting to make love before finishing a meal which ended in the grinder before you could eat it. I had used an untraceable Chinese powder; had I had the courage to let you eat, you wouldn’t have shot your two last bad films, your kids wouldn’t be ashamed by the failure and your finances wouldn’t be on the down slope. You wouldn’t be obliged to these interviews either and I would have a new question to answer, about your premature death, the terrible loss for all those who loved you, instead of being asked about how do I compare myself, your favorite foreign actress and long lasting wife, to your new Erika, Sheila or Daphne.

I have to say, tonight I saw you happy, fulfilled, so maybe you were right asking for a divorce. I can tell the right story now, if someone asks; the magic was gone, you were not in love with me, you loved someone else, you switched the flag, migrated to a foreign body, put in place a new set of spies, agents and soldiers, became loyal to the new homeland --I cannot remember her name, that was kind of six women before the last one. You must know that your flag was waving here in my body, your country, for a long time; I had it half mast for months, and finally, defeated, I lowered it. You said flag and I had an epiphany. My anger is gone.

I will eat my quiche, with a tall glass of merlot, maybe two. Then I will go to the white bathroom and fill the tub with hot water. I will undress and, naked, I will carefully step in the tub, sit, and lie, not caring if my hair gets wet. I will then cut my wrists and I will not fail. Yes, you will hear the radio, watch TV, and read the papers. Later, you will have to answer the questions, but words have never been a problem for you. You will see the pictures of my body dipping in what will look like a beauty bath of red wine. Will people see your flag hugging the coffin at my funeral? I would appreciate that; an American, post-mortem, if not your wife.

Images, images, inner images, I will not dwell on them. I will go instead back to my flaky dough, butter, flour and cold water, slowly stroking what feels like grains of sand, coarse sugar, pure life to come after a few minutes in the fridge. The onions shine in the pan, brown as caramel. Sinatra rolls, all the way, and soon it will be the tale of his way, as I find mine, pouring the onions, cream, spices, and beaten eggs into the mold covered by the dough. While the quiche cooks, I drink my wine, making a toast for those who don’t lie. I crush basil leaves and smell them, just for the pleasure, because they don’t belong with onions.




Diana Ferraro is an Argentine bilingual author with several books published in Spanish. For a decade she spent many months of each year in Richmond, Virginia. Some of her work in English has appeared at Foundling Review, Danse Macabre, Midwest Literary Magazine, Palabra Literary Magazine, Ink-Filled Page, The Other Room, The Acentos Review, The Linnet’s Wings and in the anthology Off-Season. Her collection of essays The Americas Dream: Essays on Continentalism, her first novel in English, The French Lesson, and Old Wars, a novella, have been published as e-books at She lives in Buenos Aires.

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