Roy Dorman

CHANGE IS A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

Roy Dorman

The rustic old used book store, The Written Word, with its two studio apartments on the second floor, had managed to evade the urban renewal planners for half a century. The apartments had been the real money-makers for the building’s owner for the last ten or fifteen years. The cursed Internet and the movie rental industry had changed the way of doing business for a lot of retailers. Many had gone through reorganizations to accommodate the different customer preferences and had stayed afloat. Many others had tried and failed. The owner of The Written Word, Frank Jenkins, had seen the oncoming tsunami, but had realized there was very little he could do as far as making changes in the way a used book store did business. Had he dealt in rarities, he could have taken advantage of the Internet and gone global. As it was, most of his clients lived in a forty-block radius of his storefront. In the back of the store, he was going through a box of books he had found at an estate sale. The person whose estate was being settled had had a very nice collection, indeed. His only employee, Mary Gibbs, was up front at the cash register talking to a teenager. Mary was a recent college graduate, an English major, no less, who in addition to working six days a week at The Written Word, drove cab three or four nights a week to make ends meet. When Mary wasn’t waiting on the few customers who wandered in, she had her nose in a book. She especially liked late 19^th, early 20^th century horror and supernatural authors like Algernon Blackwood and Arthur Machen. In less than a year she had learned the business and was well liked by Frank’s regular customers. Frank stopped to listen a minute as it sounded like Mary was giving this kid the bad news. He rarely ever heard her being anything but friendly to the customers.

“Now, Jimmy, I’ve told you a million times; the change we have is for our customers. If I give it to you, we might not have it when we need it,” Mary said quietly but firmly.

“But I’ll miss my bus if ya don’t give me change. My mom’ll get all wigged out and maybe ground me,” complained the teenager in front of her. Frank supposed that Jimmy was the kind of kid who would be known by his schoolmates as a geek or a nerd. Tall, gangly, lots of acne; he even had some white tape holding one of the bows of his glasses to the rest of the frame. Jimmy was a classic, alright.

“Okay, I suppose if ya have to catch yer bus, ya have to catch yer bus. But try to plan ahead a little, will ya, Jimmy?”

Jimmy’s face lit up with a big smile as he took the change. “Thanks, Mary,” he said. “I’ll try not to let it happen again.”

“You know it will happen again, don’t you, Mary?” Frank said after Jimmy had gone. “I think he’s got a crush on you.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Mary blushing. “He’s just a kid. I’m almost ten years older than he is.”

“I didn’t say he was going to ask you to elope with him to Vegas. I just think he enjoys spending a little quality time with you.”

“Quality time; I’m so sure,” harrumphed Mary as she went back to her book.

The change Jimmy needed, if he really needed it, and the inability of Frank to make the changes necessary to keep the store going, got him thinking about how words like change had different meanings in the English language. He really wished there was something he could do to change the way he did business and turn a profit again, but couldn’t think of any way to do it. He was absently paging through one of the books that was part of his recent purchase, mumbling the words “change this, change that” to himself, when a piece of paper fell to the floor. It appeared to be a note that had been used as a bookmark, and considering the recent thoughts that had been going through his head, it was a strange note indeed. “So it’s change you’re looking for, is it?” the note stated in someone’s careful cursive. “I’ll show you change!”

Frank looked at the book’s spine for title and author information. The title was “Everyday Spells and the Use of Incantations” by an author named Francis Jenkins. Odder and odder. The copyright date was 1872. Maybe some crazy great-great-uncle. Frank put the note back into the book and decided to go for a walk to clear his head and then stop someplace for lunch.

“I’m going for an early lunch, Mary,” he said going out the door. “I’ll be back before 12:30.”

Frank headed toward the market district, and though feeling a little light headed, discovered he was glad to be out of the store and into the fresh air. A welcome change. “There it is again,” he thought to himself. Normally he would have chuckled at this continuation of word play, but for some reason he felt uneasy. Looking down, he saw a nasty looking rat was scurrying along, keeping pace with him. Then he saw another, equally nasty looking, coming toward him from the other direction. The odd thing was that nobody else walking in either direction seemed to take any notice of the two rats. No, now three; now four rats. Frank was glad when he got to the little bistro he often frequented and could leave the rats behind. Even as he sat down, it bothered him that no one else had paid any attention to the uncommon occurrence of those rats trundling down the street like they had important rat business to take care of.

Gerald, the waiter who usually took Frank’s order, was nowhere to be seen. A rather scruffy little man, in a dirty sweater much too large for him, sidled over to the table.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking over Frank’s head and out the window.

Frank looked around at the other customers and didn’t recognize a soul. “I guess I’ll have a grilled cheese and a glass of ice water,” he stammered nervously. “Yes, grilled cheese and ice water; that’ll do it,” he trailed off.

“The fish didn’t like it when we put ice in the water, so we don’t have ice no more,” declared the waiter as he shambled away.

Frank looked at the table next to him and his jaw dropped. The couple next to him both had water, and in each glass there was a live fish of some sort swimming around. The waiter came back with Frank’s water and refilled the glasses of the two at the next table. Right then, Frank knew exactly what was going on: He was losing his mind. Simple as that; going bonkers. First the rats and now the fish.

“That fish okay?” asked the waiter. “I can get ya a different kind if ya want.”

“Oh, I’m sure this fish is fine. But I suddenly don’t feel too well and think I’d better leave.” He put a dollar on the table as a tip and started for the door. He couldn’t imagine eating a grilled cheese that came from the kitchen of a place that put live fish in their drinking water. As he was walking out he saw a fellow do a “bottoms up” with his glass and drink it right down, fish and all.

“Yep,” he said out loud. “Crazier than a peach-orchard boar.” He decided to go to the little grocery and just pick up an apple and some grapes to take back with him to the bookstore. Why he thought the grocery would somehow be as it was the last time he was in it was due to that age-old river in Egypt; denial. Even though he had just verbalized that he was losing his mind, he still was going through the motions of normality. The grocery as seen from the entrance was a collage of weird goings-on that complimented the bistro’s wackiness nicely. Two women were standing by the fresh strawberries talking, but stuffing strawberries into their mouths as if they hadn’t eaten in a week. An older gentleman, about Frank’s age, was munching on a head of lettuce. He had on an expensive looking sport coat, a strap t-shirt, boxer shorts, and mismatched socks. No shoes. Frank put a bunch of grapes in a bag, set a couple of dollars on the unstaffed cash register and headed quick-step out the door. There was a young long-hired security guard at the exit singing an old Beatles song at the top of his lungs. Actually, he was pretty good…, if he hadn’t been supposedly watching the exit of the grocery store.

When Frank got back to The Written Word, he saw that it was no longer The Written Word; it was now “Mary and Frank’s Read It Again, Sam.” Somehow, he was not at all surprised.

“Oh, hey,” said Mary with a bit of a slur. “Wasn’t expectin’ ya back. So freakin’ soon, I mean.” She moved the bottle of watermelon flavored vodka from the counter next to her to the floor. It was one third gone. Looking around, Frank hardly recognized the place. There were movies and CD’s to buy or rent and gaudy posters of punk rock bands decorating all four walls.

“Gotta a glass for that vodka?’ Frank asked Mary.

“I was kinda jus’ drinkin’ right from the bottle,” replied Mary with a dopey grin.

“So gimme it, already,” Frank sighed in resignation. “I guess I can drink outta the bottle for a change.” Then brightening a bit, he said, “Ya know, Mary, I really like what you’ve done to the place; ya did a good job. I should’ve made some of these changes a long time ago. We’re gonna have to get some rat traps, though. A lot of rat traps.”

THE ANNIVERSARY

Roy Dorman

“I beg your pardon!”

Matthew Byrnes had just finished dinner at his favorite restaurant and was getting ready to leave. He had moved into this neighborhood six months ago after retiring. He had been a circuit court judge for almost thirty years and was thoroughly enjoying retirement.

On his way to the door, a slight altercation had occurred. “No need to get all huffy,” said Judge Byrnes. “I didn’t know it was yours. It’s raining and I needed an umbrella. This one looked like it had been on the top of the coat rack for years. Here, take it.”

“Actually, it has been there for years. I forgot it when I had dinner here with my wife on our fiftieth wedding anniversary. That was three years ago today. That’s my wife over there by the door. We were killed by a drunk driver just as we left the restaurant. He jumped the curb and pinned us to the side of the building; we both died on the way to the hospital.”

The judge could only stare after that little recitation. The man was obviously a little bonkers. He thought he’d best be careful here or things could get ugly.

“Everything alright, sir?” asked William, the waiter who had served him.

“Oh, things are fine, fine,” said the judge. “I was just going to borrow what I thought was an abandoned umbrella, only to find out that it belongs to this gentleman.”

Looking puzzled, the waiter asked, “And which gentleman would that be, sir?”

“Why this gentleman right ….,” he started. “Damn,” the judge thought to himself. “He’s gone. The woman by the door, too. How could they have left the restaurant that quickly? And without taking his umbrella. How odd.”

“Well, sir, if that will be all,” said the waiter, looking a little nervous now.

“Yes, yes, William, that will be all. Thanks for the nice evening. See you again next week,” the judge said, trying to make as graceful an exit as possible.

He stepped out onto the sidewalk and put up the umbrella. He now felt a little odd taking it, but it was just an umbrella; though its previous owner was certainly an odd duck. Even with the umbrella, the wind was blowing rain into his face as he stepped into the street. Halfway across, a horn sounded and a car skidded to a stop just inches from him. He looked through the windshield and saw the strange fellow and his wife smiling at him.

“Hey, buddy, ya gonna stand there all night?” came from a delivery truck driver who had stopped his van on the other side of him. The judge didn’t bother to turn back to see if the mystery couple and their car were still there.

“No, I’ll be walking back across the street now, thank you very much,” the judge said, though not with as much confidence as he normally would have had when dealing with sarcastic truck driver types. He found he was a bit shaken. The first thing he was going to do was put this umbrella back where he got it. He no longer thought of it as “just an umbrella.” It seemed to be somehow connected to its owner. Or former owner. Or whatever; he decided he’d rather get wet.

“Ah, back so soon, sir?” asked the waiter.

“Yes, William, I’ve decided that I don’t need this umbrella after all. I’m going to call a cab.”

“But, sir, it is still raining quite hard,” said the waiter, standing on tiptoe and looking over the judge’s shoulder out the front window.

“Thanks, but I’ll just stay in the entryway until the cab gets here,” the judge said. “Say, William, do you know anything about an accident happening out front about three years ago? Maybe two people getting killed?”

“Yes, sir, three years ago tonight. The chef says to me earlier on, ‘Just you wait and see, William, there’ll be some strange things happening in here tonight. There are every year on this date. People say they see people who then, poof, are no longer there.’ Oh my, sir, you didn’t see something unusual earlier, did you?”

“No, no, William, I didn’t see anything strange at all,” said Judge Byrnes. “Now, would you please call me a cab? It doesn’t look like this rain’s ever going to let up.”

“Yes, sir, right away. Oh, careful, sir, do watch your step. Water’s dripped on the floor from your umbrella,” said William. “Oh, no! How awful!” he then shouted as the judge slipped and fell to the floor. “Someone help me here! Someone call 911!”

“He’s awake, but still a little groggy,” the judge heard a nurse whisper in the hallway. “You can stay for a few minutes. He has no family in the area so we’re making an exception for you.”

“Morning, sir, hope you’re feeling a little better,” said William. “That was quite a spill you took. Thought I’d drop by and bring you some flowers for your room.”

“That’s really quite nice of you, William. You can just put them on that table in the corner. Oh, no,” the judge said. “Did you bring that umbrella with you too?”

“No, sir. That was sitting in the corner when I came in. I just got here a minute ago.”

“I’m going to call the nurse. Nurse! Nurse!”

“Yes, sir, everything okay?” asked the nurse.

“No, actually, it’s not,” said Judge Byrnes. “Where did that umbrella come from? Did it come with me from the restaurant where I was injured?”

“Well, sir, I don’t quite know how to tell you this,” said the nurse. “After you were settled into bed, that is, after the doctor examined you, I came into your room and there was an older couple standing by your bed looking down at you. I asked them who they were and what they were doing and they both just smiled at me. I went out front to ask the receptionist who they were and she said nobody had come in for the last half hour. When I came back in here, they were …, well, they were gone, sir. I guess it was them who must have left the umbrella.”

A look of distaste appeared on Judge Byrnes’ face. They had been standing over him while he was unconscious. “How creepy,” he thought to himself.

“That’s fine, that’s fine. You may go now,” he said, dismissing the nurse.

“Just leave it for now, William. But after our visit, please take it with you and put it back on the coat rack in the restaurant,” the judge said.

“Do you really think that will be the end of it then, sir?” said William, raising his eyebrows a little as if for emphasis.

“No, William, I have no idea what we could do to bring an end to this. I think you and I may be at just the beginning of it. I don’t know how or why I’ve become connected to those two. But I tell you one thing: I do plan to be at the restaurant for the fourth anniversary. I hope that you will be there too. We can look at this as “our” mystery. You know, the whole thing is actually quite invigorating, wouldn’t you say?”

William nodded his agreement, he rather liked the old judge, but the look on his face said that he thought this whole business was turning out to be anything but invigorating. He looked at the umbrella resting in the corner and noticed for the first time that there appeared to be blood on its tip. Blood had run down to where the tip met the floor and a dime-sized spot of it glistened in the hospital’s overhead lights. Judge Byrnes noticed the look of horror on William’s face and followed his gaze to the spot on the floor. With a grimace, he murmured to William, “Ever notice anything like that when it was on top of the coat rack back at the restaurant?”

“No, sir,” said William. “It pretty much stayed on the rack and behaved itself.”

“Interesting,” said the judge. “Apparently something that happened tonight has brought about a change in its behavior. I think it might have been us. Let’s leave it there until I’m released; then we’ll both take it back to the restaurant and hope it goes back to sleep. I’d still like to be at the restaurant for the anniversary next year. Maybe you can get the night off and be my dinner guest.”

“I’m sure being your dinner guest would be very pleasant, sir,” said William.

William then paled as he watched the judge’s face become the face of another. It was of an elderly man that slowly morphed into a grinning skull. At the same instant, the judge was startled to see William’s face become that of the old woman from the restaurant. After only a second or two, both faces were back to normal. Each man eyed the other suspiciously. The judge then broke the ice when he realized that in that instant William had looked as shocked as he himself had felt.

“Did my face just change into something rather ghastly?” asked the judge.

“Why, yes it did, sir,” said William .

“I thought so; yours did too. It was the face of the old woman at restaurant.”

William groaned. “I’m not sure I’m going to be up to this, sir,” he said.

“I don’t think we have any choice, William. I don’t think we have any choice.”

INCIDENT AT THE CORNER GROCERY

Roy Dorman

Donatelli’s Grocery. He’d passed that earlier, hadn’t he? Yeah, he was pretty sure he had.

To get a little exercise, Brad Johnson had walked the ten or twelve blocks from his uptown hotel to this small ethnic neighborhood and had somehow gotten turned around in his attempt to head back. No big deal; it was still early. He could see the multi-storied buildings of the uptown in the distance. The morning fog was just about completely burned off by now and there was no reason he couldn’t just walk toward that skyline and be back in his room in an hour.

Starting off again, he decided to put the grocery store puzzle behind him and think about the upcoming day. He had flown in early last evening and was looking forward to surprising his girlfriend, Linda, at the museum where she worked. They’d have lunch, and then after she got off work, they’d go someplace ritzy for dinner.

Linda had often made comments about his being too buttoned down and not being spontaneous enough in their relationship. Flying cross country unexpectedly for lunch and dinner would surely show her that he could be a little wild if he put his mind to it.

Ambling along, trying to stay in the general direction of his hotel, Brad’s thoughts were still on Linda. They had lived together for almost two years. He loved her very much and he was sure she loved him just as much. Friends, though, sometimes remarked that it certainly must be true that opposites attract because his and Linda’s personalities were quite different.

Brad was the cautious type. He often diddled around seemingly forever thinking things through before making a decision about something. Sometimes even ridiculously small things. Linda, however, wasn’t big on doing a cost-benefit analysis on every choice that came along in her life. She was a risk taker.

Linda had left Los Angeles for the new job in New York City after giving the position offer ten minutes thought, her employer two week’s notice, and Brad best of luck wishes in finding a position and following her as soon as possible. He still remembers burying his face in her hair at the airport and inhaling the smell of her one last time. Right then, he didn’t know if he would ever be able to follow her to New York City.

He was at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change when he saw on the other side of the street…, Donatelli’s Grocery.

“That can’t be,” Brad said aloud, causing the old woman next to him jump.

“What can’t be, mister?” she asked, eying him warily.

“That can’t be Donatelli’s; I’ve walked past that store twice already this morning on my way back uptown.”

“That’s Donatelli’s, alright,” she said. “Been there for years. Why don’t you just catch the bus uptown if you’re in a hurry?”

He hadn’t been in a hurry before, but now it had gotten a little later than he was comfortable with. As luck would have it, there was a bus stop up ahead in the next block. He only had to wait a few minutes before a bus with the “Uptown” sign on the front pulled up. He got on and took one of the remaining seats as the bus pulled away.

The bus was just about full with commuters heading to work. It was then he thought that he should have thanked that old woman for the bus suggestion. Thinking about it now, he couldn’t remember her crossing the street with him when the light changed. He couldn’t remember seeing her at all again after she suggested the bus.

Settling into his seat, Brad thought about how much fun lunch and dinner would be with Linda. She was such a dynamo; always laughing and kidding around. He couldn’t wait to kiss her…

“End of the line,” a voice called from a distance. “Hey, buddy, wake up; end of the line.”

Brad sat up with a start. Looking around, he saw that he was the only one on the bus. He was the only passenger, that is. The driver was in his seat looking back at him through the overhead review mirror.

“Where am I?” Brad asked. “Are we uptown?”

“We’re at the end of the line. Ya know, the bus barns. My morning shift is over. We were uptown, but you didn’t get off. I always yell ‘Uptown’, when we get there but you must have been sleepin’ pretty soundly. Ya gotta get off this bus, but you can catch another one heading uptown just across the street.”

Brad looked out the window and saw a yellow bench at a bus stop. The bench was right in front of Donatelli’s Grocery. “Must be a fuckin’ chain,” he said with a sigh as he walked past the driver to get off the bus. Stepping down the two stairs, he almost ran into a beat police officer who must have been stopping to chat with the driver.

“Excuse me, officer, could I talk to you for a minute?” asked Brad.

“Sure, buddy, what’s up?” said the cop with a “here to serve you” smile.

“Well, I know this is gonna sound nuts,” said Brad, “but I seem to be having a little trouble getting uptown. Every time I start out, after a bit, I end up right back at Donatelli’s Grocery.”

Brad saw the cop’s eyes stray from his eyes to a spot just over his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Brad could see the driver was rotating his index finger to the side of his head and making a goofy face. The cop smirked but then directed his attention to Brad again.

“…don’t see anybody going in or coming out of that place.” Brad had continued talking while the cop had been watching the antics of the bus driver.

“What’s that you’re sayin’?” asked the cop.

“I said I just realized that even though I’ve been past this store three or four times, I don’t think I’ve seen anybody going in or coming out. Is it open?’

“Yeah, it’s open,” said the bus driver. “It’s open Monday through Saturday. Has been for years. Do you remember when Donatelli’s wasn’t there, Charlie?” he asked the cop. “I think it’s always been there.”

“Yeah, it’s been there ever since I can remember,” said the cop.

“You ever been in there?” the bus driver asked the cop.

“Sure, I been in there; it’s a nice little grocery. Ya mean you’ve never been in there?”

“Well, no, I haven’t. And I was just thinkin’, ya know, about what the whacko here said. I don’t remember ever seein’ anybody goin’ in or comin’ out of that place, either. Do ya think it’s a front or somethin’?”

“Whadda ya mean a front? If it was a front, I’d know, wouldn’t I?” groused the cop. “Just ‘cause it’s named Donatelli’s doesn’t mean it’s Mafia or somethin’.

The driver and the cop had now pretty much left Brad out of the conversation.

“Charlie, answer me this: When was the last time you were in there?” asked the driver.

Charlie looked at the driver and then at Donatelli’s. He stared at Donatelli’s for a long time.

“Didn’t it used to be at the corner of Fifth and Edwards?” he said.

Brad decided that there was nothing more to be gained from listening to these two and crossed the street to Donatelli’s. He pushed open the screen door and went inside.

After stopping to let his eyes adjust to the darkness of the place, he looked around the little store and didn’t see a shopkeeper or any customers. No one was at the register. He turned and looked out the plate glass window.

Across the street was a little grocery; Donatelli’s Grocery.

Looking out the cobwebbed covered window with his back to the dark storeroom, he felt his bladder let go. Someone, or something, had come up behind him and was breathing raggedly on the back of his neck.

Still staring straight ahead at the Donatelli’s across the street, he saw the old lady walking toward the store coming from one direction and the cop and the bus driver coming from the other direction. They stopped in front of the store and were now looking in the picture window. He could not make out who was looking out the window back at them, but he could guess who it was.

A large, hairy hand took his and attempted to lead him away from the window. Brad resisted. He supposed he should do something, but he couldn’t think what. He just continued to stare at the grocery across the street; watching to see if anyone would go in or come out. Though he couldn’t put his finger on it, someone going in or coming out seemed very important to him.

“Damn you, Linda,” he whispered. “Damn you.”

“Not Linda,” a rumbling voice said from behind him.

Brad chuckled bitterly. Then he barked laughter. No, whatever it was that owned the hairy hand that now held his arm in an iron grip was probably not named Linda.

When roughly prompted by his captor, he decided to go docilely along, carefully keeping his eyes to the floor. He was no longer sure of very much, but he did know he wasn’t in a hurry to look at whatever it was that was pulling him along.

“Linda, Linda, Linda,” said Brad.

“No, not Linda; Igor,” said his gruff companion.

“Well, of course you are,” laughed Brad. “Who else would you be?” He finally found the nerve to look up into the face of his captor. A horribly scarred face was attempting a smile of sorts. Brad smiled back and said, “Well, Igor, ol’ buddy; where to?”

“Donatelli,” said Igor with a look of childlike wonder on his face. “We see Donatelli.”

Brad was surprised that he was really looking forward to seeing Donatelli. He even started whistling as he and Igor walked into the gloom at the back of the store.

“No whistling in Donatelli’s,” admonished Igor seriously with a comic raising of his bushy eyebrows. “No whistling is allowed.”

When Igor opened a large sliding oak door on the back wall of the grocery, Brad stopped in mid-whistle. He and Igor stood and looked through the door’s opening at a panoramic view of the inside of a colossal temple. Hundreds of “Igors” were milling about aimlessly and Brad bet that not one of them was whistling. Whistling was not allowed in Donatelli’s.

Brad shuddered as he thought that he was about to find out what was allowed in Donatelli’s. He was pretty sure that Donatelli wouldn’t be wearing one of those full length white grocery aprons that tied in the back.

After walking across the floor of the amphitheater for what seemed like hours, but may have been only minutes, Brad saw that they were arriving at what looked like a large altar. He didn’t like the looks of that at all. Altars usually implied sacrifices.

Sitting on a bench outside the railings that served as the barrier between the altar and the rest of the expanse were the cop, the bus driver, and the old lady. They were holding “take a number” cards. The old woman started waving enthusiastically until the bus driver gently pulled her arm down and whispered something in her ear. She then gave Brad a pained “wouldn’t want to be in your shoes” smile and gave him a little “bye-bye” wave.

“That Linda?” asked Igor.

“No, Igor, that’s not Linda. I may never see Linda again.”

“Linda, Linda, Linda,” said Igor.

Brad looked back across the vastness that he and Igor had just crossed.

He could feel the distance from where he now stood and the hotel room that was back there in his own world.

Somehow this morning after setting out on his walk, he had taken a right when he should have taken a left. Zigged when he should have zagged and entered a world that was much like his own at the start, but then had turned more wrong with each step he had taken.

The experience had changed him, though. The quiet, conservative Brad who had started the morning would have gone mad with fear being where he was now. The new Brad felt strength in himself that he thought would help him through almost anything.

He looked at Igor standing next to him. Well, almost anything.

“So is Igor your real name? Seems kinda cliché.”

“Cliché?’

“You know, sorta Hollywood. Assistant to the mad scientist in the horror movies.”

“Hey, Igor!” Igor called out. The dozen or so Igors closest stopped and turned to look over at them. Igor smiled a big smile. They all smiled and resumed their walking around duties. “All of Donatelli’s helpers are called Igor,” said Igor to Brad.

The two of them settled back into their own thoughts until Brad heard Igor making a sniffing noise. He had just turned to ask him what he smelled when he smelled something himself.

“Linda,” said Brad. He quickly looked around to see if she was somehow there with them.

Igor stopped sniffing and said, “That Linda?”

“Brad swallowed hard and looked Igor in the eye. “Yes, Igor, that Linda.”

The madness that still threatened his mind was as close as Igor and as far away as his hotel room. The urge to bolt from Igor and the yet unseen Donatelli and flee back the way they had come was strong but he held it at bay.

It was strong, though. Very strong.

“Linda, Linda, Linda,” said Igor, sniffing the air again. He was smiling.

CAFÉ ERRATA I & II: WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

It was 9:45 p. m. when forty-eight-year old Billy “Sloe-Eye” Jenkins noticed the neon lighted “EAT” sign as he was coming to the outskirts of a small town in the middle of southwestern Wisconsin.

Billy was getting too old for this life. Both he and his expensive custom-tailored suit had taken a beating over the last few days. He really, really needed a shower and a bed in a hotel tonight.

The problem was that he had gone too long “between jobs.” This made him low on cash, which in turn had him sleeping in his car at rest areas and in supermarket parking lots.

He pulled into the greasy spoon’s gravel parking lot and drove up to a spot by the front windows. His was the only car in the lot. The small handmade cardboard sign on the door was still turned to the “OPEN” side.

Billy walked up the three steps and into the diner, hearing the little bell ring as he stepped through the old wood-framed glass door.

Two men who had been talking at an order window cut in the wall that opened into the kitchen stopped their conversation and turned to look at him.

“We’re only open ‘til 10:00, but we can get you a sandwich and coffee to go if ya like,” said the gangly young man on the counter side of the window.

He looked to be a year or two out of high school, if he’d even made it through high school, and his tone said it all; he hoped that this late comer would just make a U-turn and head on out.

The other man, probably the cook, was very short, his head just a bit above the window sill, and looked like he’d been around the block a few times.

Billy pulled a gun from under his coat and shot both men in the head before either could even move. The older man fell back into the kitchen and the younger onto the floor behind the counter.

He had just opened the cash register when car lights played across the back wall of the diner.

“Damn! Gotta get rid of this guy quick,” thought Billy to himself. He ditched his suit jacket, reached down and took the paper restaurant hat from the head of the guy behind the counter, plopping it on his own head just as the problem patron entered.

“We’re only open for another ten minutes, but I can give ya a coffee to go,” ad-libbed Billy.

“I’ve been on the road for eight fuckin’ hours,” said the customer. He was a tough looking fellow with a long scar on one cheek. “You get me the coffee, I’ll sit here a minute and we’ll chat, and then I’ll get back on the road.”

As he was pouring the coffee, Billy groaned to himself as he noticed yet another car pull into the small parking lot.

A thirty-something local woman, Mary Barnes, got out of the car and entered the diner. The car she had gotten out of was still running, the lights shone brightly into the diner, and somebody was slouched down in the driver’s seat listening to some country western music that was turned up loud.

“Who the hell are you?” Mary asked Billy, leveling a steely gaze in his direction. “Where’s Fred and Jesse?”

She had been talking to Billy but now she cast a quick glance at the customer in time to see him pull a gun from a chest holster and aim it at Billy.

Billy had already taken his gun out when Mary had pulled in and had it beneath the counter.

Both men fired at the same time and both were hit.

Mary pulled a small caliber pistol from her purse and put a bullet into each man’s head.

“Jeezus, Mary, you dumb bitch, you were just supposed to case the joint, not kill everybody in the building!” yelled Tommy Jones upon entering the diner. “Fred and Jesse said that they would give us the money if we would give them part of it.”

Mary had been looking through the kitchen order window. “Fred and Jesse are both dead; Fred’s behind the counter here and Jesse’s in the kitchen. I don’t know who these other two guys are.”

Leveling her pistol at Tommy’s chest, she said, “Ya know, I’ve about had it with that ‘dumb bitch’ stuff, Tommy.” Mary shot him three times at point blank range.

Now alone in the diner with five dead men, she began to clean out the register.

She took the car keys out of the pockets of both of the dead men she didn’t know. “You can keep that nasty old Ford, Tommy; I’ll just borrow one of these gentlemen’s until I get to Chicago.”

As she was hurrying to the door, she saw the county sheriff pull into one of the last remaining parking places. The lot was getting to be as full as the diner.

His flashing lights weren’t on so Mary figured he wasn’t answering a call to check out the various shots fired. Probably just stopping for coffee at closing time.

Thinking quickly, Mary yelled out the front door, “Sheriff, get in here right away; somthin’ awful’s happened.”

The sheriff, a veteran of twenty years on the force, gasped when he saw the three dead men on the floor of the diner. Walking in a little further, he saw Fred lying dead behind the counter.

He didn’t even get as far as the order window when Mary opened fire, shooting him execution style in the back of the head.

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” said Mary as she left the diner and went to check out which car she would take.

Mary was not destined for greatness as a criminal. Neither of the two cars had more than a quarter tank and she had to use quite a bit of her loot just buying gas to get to Chicago.

She kicked around Chicago for a bit, but wound up a year later working at a little open all night diner in a small town off the interstate that was much too much like the little burg she had left in Wisconsin.

One night, she was working alone in the diner. There hadn’t been a customer in twenty minutes. Mary decided that this was her last night at the diner. She planned to clean out the register and head for Nashville the next time a customer came and left.

She thought that she was still good looking and had always had a good singing voice. The plan was to hook up with some country band that needed a singer.

While Mary was going over all of this in her head, a lone man walked in and shot her twice in the chest with the sawed-off shotgun he’d had concealed under his trench coat. He left with a couple of hundred dollars from the register; not much more than Mary had taken from her diner heist a year ago.

Ironically, this murder was one of those “small world” things that happen now and then; the man who shot and killed Mary was the son of one of the four men that Mary had shot back in Wisconsin.

When another customer finally came in a half hour later, he called the police and reported that there was a waitress lying dead behind the counter and the cash register was open.

“No,” said the customer to the dispatcher. “Just her; she and I are the only ones in here.”

END

An Early Christmas Present

by Roy Dorman

“Hey, Eddie, it’s me, Charlie, down at the station. We have a problem, bro.”

Just twenty minutes ago, Eddie Scranton had dropped off his old beater of a Chevy at the two-stall garage his buddy, Charlie Roberts, owned.

“Come on now, don’t you be givin’ me some bad news,” said Eddie. “I told ya that I only have enough to get the exhaust system fixed and you said you could do it cheap.”

“When I said ‘we have a problem,’ I should have said ‘you have a problem.’ And it’s a lot bigger problem than a rusted out exhausted system, Eddie-boy. There’s a body in your trunk.”

There was ten seconds of silence. “Ya still there?” asked Charlie. “I said there’s a stiff in your trunk; I’m gonna call the cops.”

“Hold on a sec; don’t call ‘em yet. Don’t do anything ‘till I get there. I’ll be there as soon as I can get a ride. Half hour, tops.”

“Kinda sounds like ya know something about this. I’ll wait a half hour, but only cuz we’re pals. After a half hour, I have to look out for Charlie; know what I mean?”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks. Don’t worry; I’ll be there.”

Eddie made it to “Mufflers, Etc.” with only a few minutes to spare. “What were you looking around in the trunk for, anyhow? Ya don’t need to open the trunk to install a muffler.”

“Don’t you get all pissy with me,” said Charlie. “I put the Chevy up on the hoist and had just started to poke around at the pipes underneath when I saw what looked like a bloody white dress shirt pushed through the floor of your rusted out trunk. I touched it and turns out that it is blood; it was sticky, but still wet. I brought your heap down, looked in the trunk, and gave you a call. Now I’m gonna call the cops.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know who it is; I didn’t touch him. Older white guy, well dressed, pushed way to the back of the trunk. Probably shot in the chest or throat cut; I couldn’t see.”

“Sue Ellen used my car last night,” said Eddie. “Said she had some Christmas shopping to do up in Wisconsin Dells. She called me from her place this morning and asked if she could use the car again tonight. I gotta talk to her before we call the cops.”

“Ya got five minutes this time. Do it.”

Eddie pulled out his cell phone and made the call. “Sue Ellen? Yeah, it’s me, Eddie. I’m at Mufflers, Etc. with Charlie. You know anything about something in the trunk?’

“Eddie, I’ve already called the police and told them that you’re there,” said Sue Ellen, the words coming out all in a rush. “I was with Charlie last night and he robbed a guy in the Dells. He stabbed him and put him in your trunk. He called me a half hour ago and said that he’s going to blame it all on you.” Eddie listened to all of this and cut his eyes over at Charlie. He seemed to be very interested in a hangnail and was doing his best to keep from looking at Eddie. “Be careful; Charlie’s dangerous. He’s not himself. He’s got some big gambling debts and could do anything to get those thugs off his back.”

Eddie turned his back on Charlie and started to talk to Sue Ellen in a voice just above a whisper. Charlie picked up a large rubber mallet from the work bench and took a step toward Eddie.

“Freeze! Put your hands in the air!” yelled someone from the entryway. Both Charlie and Eddie put their hands in the air; Eddie’s right hand held his phone and Charlie’s the rubber mallet.

Two huge, tough looking guys in expensive suits entered the work area with their guns drawn. “Nice command voice, Ronny; ya got ‘em both standing there like statues.”

“Thanks, Tiny, I’ll teach ya how to do that sometime. I’ll take that mallet,” Ronny then said to Charlie. “You both can put your hands down, but keep ‘em where we can see ‘em.”

“We received an anonymous call this morning that there was a body in the trunk of a car here in the garage,” said Ronny, the one of the two who was obviously in charge. “We’ve got a warrant to search the premises. I want you two to go and sit on those chairs over in the waiting area and stay there.”

“I was just gonna call you guys,” said Charlie. “There is a body in the trunk of this guy’s car. He told me that he killed him last night in Wisconsin Dells.”

“That’s a lie, you asshole,” yelled Eddie. “Sue Ellen just told me that you killed the guy and robbed him to pay off some gambling debts.”

“All right, all right; you guys just go sit in the chairs and shut up. We’ll talk more after we check out the trunk,” said Ronny.

“Hey, wait a minute. How do we know you’re cops; you haven’t shown us any ID,” said Charlie.

Tiny shoved the barrel of his pistol into Charlie’s solar plexus, causing him to double over, the wind knocked out of him. “I’m Officer Friendly,” he said with a smirk.

“So where’s the warrant?” said Eddie. “Aren’t you supposed to show….”

Ronny pistol-whipped Eddie once across the face. “Looks we got us at least one slow learner here. I’m Officer Not-So-Friendly, by the way; pleased to meet the both of ya. Now get over there and sit on the goddamn chairs.”

Eddie and Charlie walked over to the waiting area and sat down in the chairs. They watched as Ronny and Tiny looked into the trunk and talked things over. Tiny went outside and then drove their car into the remaining stall. It was an older model Cadillac Eldorado in excellent condition and definitely did not look like any police car Eddie and Charlie had ever seen.

“Do you think that Sue Ellen really called the cops, or did she call these guys?” asked Eddie. “Or if she called the cops, did someone at the station call these guys? What kind of shit are you in anyhow?”

“I’m in the really deep kind of shit,” said Charlie. “And I don’t think that it’s just me that’s in it; we both are. We’ll be lucky if we’re still alive at lunch time.”

Tiny popped the trunk of the Eldorado and then he and Ronny hoisted the body out of the trunk of Eddie’s Chevy. They transferred the body into the Eldorado and slammed the trunk closed. Ronny then took out his cell phone and made a call.

“What are we gonna do, Charlie? They’re gonna kill us.”

“Unless you’ve got a .44 hidden somewhere on you, I don’t think that there’s anything we can do.”

Ronny finished up his call and he and Tiny walked over to where Eddie and Charlie were sitting.

“So, a couple of questions. The one of you that offed this guy…., no, no, don’t start that “he did it” shit again. Just listen to the questions. One: Did ya know this guy? Two: Why’d ya kill ‘em?”

Eddie looked at Charlie and then when Charlie didn’t say anything, he gave him a shove.

“Okay, okay,” said Charlie. “You’re probably gonna kill us anyway. I’ve got some gambling debts. I asked Eddie’s girlfriend if she’d borrow Eddie’s car and give me a ride to the casino up at the Dells. I was planning to rob a high roller; I didn’t plan to kill anybody. I saw this guy win a bundle at poker and when he left, I followed him out. I told him to give me the money and flashed my knife at him to let him know I was serious. He went for the knife and I stabbed him once in the throat. I didn’t mean to! It just happened! It happened so fast! Sue Ellen didn’t panic; she went and got the car, drove it over, and I shoved him into the trunk. That’s it. We drove back last night and here we are this morning.”

“I can’t figure how you’ve got a lot of gambling debts; you’re one lucky fella,” said Ronny. “The deader over there in the trunk is Bernie “The Jaw” Molinski. He’s from the Chicago mob and he’s been nosing around up at the Dells trying to horn in on my boss’s territory. It’s not a lot of territory, but it’s his. Now my boss is a funny guy. Not funny “hah, hah,”, but funny like “kinda weird”. He figures that you did him a favor. Here’s what he just told me: I’m supposed to give whoever killed “The Jaw” five thousand bucks. Then, I’m takin’ “The Jaw” with me for disposal. Tiny will be takin’ the Chevy, also for disposal. You guys got no say in the matter; no take it or leave it. You just take it. And I shouldn’t have to tell you how rarely something like this happens. Don’t think you two can quit your day jobs. You’re probably not cut out for this kind of business. What I mean is this: Our paths should never cross again, kapeesh?”

Stunned, Charlie and Eddie just nodded. They watched as Ronny and Tiny got into the two cars and drove out. Eddie now knew where Charlie fit into all of this, but what about Sue Ellen?

“You coulda got me killed, asshole,” said Eddie. “You do know that you’re gonna buy me another car, right?”

“Sure, sure, ‘course I am,” said Charlie, showing Eddie the envelope containing the bounty money. “But do ya want another beater that your half of this five thousand would buy, or do ya want to go up to the Dells and see if we can add to this?”

Eddie gave Charlie two quick slaps across the face with the back of his hand and grabbed the envelope with the cash. He stalked out of the garage and started the three mile hike to Sue Ellen’s place. He felt like he could use the walk to give him time to think. He thought that he and Sue Ellen had a lot to talk about. He figured she owed him not only a good explanation, but also at least half of any money Charlie had given her from last night’s robbery. Call it car rental fees. Or hell, she could call it an early Christmas present to him if she wanted to.

WORKING ON A COLD CASE

Roy Dorman

After getting out of a late model dark blue sedan, a man and a woman walked briskly up the sidewalk toward a well kept-up little bungalow. Standing on the cement stoop, the woman, the younger of the two, pressed the doorbell and then stood back to wait. She did this with a practiced ease that said she had done this before. The inside door opened and a trim older woman peered out at the two through the still-closed screen door.

“Yes?” asked the woman.

“Good Afternoon. Are you Jill Masterson?”

“Yes, I am, but I’m really not interested in anything you might be selling.”

“Ms. Masterson, I’m Detective Carla Barnes and this is my partner Detective Bill Griffin,” said Detective Barnes, showing her badge. “We’re with the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Department. We’d like to ask you a few questions. May we come in?”

Jill Masterson lived in this little one story ranch-style house situated on a quiet street in a residential neighborhood in Sedona, Arizona. She was single, had never really had any serious relationships since high school, and until recently had worked for the Arizona Water Company’s Sedona office as a meter inspector. The job had paid well, had good benefits, and now provided her with a comfortable retirement.

Having taken seats in Jill’s tidy living room, Detective Barnes had started the interview. “Ms. Masterson, the reason we’re here is that we’re following up on an old case that has recently been reopened. The incident occurred almost fifty years ago and involved the death of a classmate of yours. According to the files, you were friends of the deceased, Arthur Birdsong, and we have notes from your interview with the Town of Jerome Police Department from that time.”

“That was so long ago,” said Jill. “Why are you looking into it again now?”

“Apparently, Mr. Birdsong’s family was never really convinced that his death had been an accident,” said Detective Griffin. “With forensics having improved a lot over the last fifty years, they’ve asked for a review of the evidence of the case. DNA testing of the blood stains on Mr. Birdsong’s shirt has shown that it’s not just his blood on the shirt. Quite a lot of the blood belonged to someone else. We’d like your help in determining who that other blood belonged to.”

“My grandfather was a friend of your older brother, Edward,” said Detective Barnes. “He told me that there may have been some hard feelings between your brother and Mr. Birdsong.”

“You’d have to talk to my brother about that; he’s been living in New York City for the past forty years. I don’t see what more you could want from me.”

“According to the interviews in the file, you and Mr. Birdsong had been dating and were together the day that he died,” said Detective Barnes. “Is that true? Were you with him when he died?”

“Do I really have to go through all of this again? It’s painful to think about what happened that day.”

“Yes, Ms. Masterson, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you do,” said Detective Barnes. “Why don’t you just start at the beginning? What were you and Mr. Birdsong doing at your brother’s house in Jerome that afternoon in the Summer of 1966?”

“Okay,” sighed Jill. “I’ll tell you what happened, but I don’t think it’ll change anything. Jack and I were driving from Sedona to Jerome…”

“Jack?” said Detective Griffin. “We saw that you referred to Mr. Birdsong as “Jack” in the interviews you gave to the police back then.”

“Jack never liked the name Arthur. When John F. Kennedy became president, Jack really thought he was a cool guy. He couldn’t legally change his name to Jack, he was just a kid, but he told everybody to start calling him Jack and most people did. Now where was I? Oh yeah; Jack and I were driving from Sedona to Jerome one Saturday for something to do. It was summer, school was out, and neither one of us had to work that day. Jack had fixed up an old 1950 Ford coupe so that it ran, but it overheated going up that long steep road into Jerome. It was probably a hundred degrees that day. We weren’t planning on going to my brother’s house that day because Eddie didn’t like Jack much, but the car had given out near Eddie’s, so we started up the hill to see if we could get some water. Eddie and his wife were both at work, so we just filled up a pail from his garage with water and started back to the car. We had walked up the road on the way to Eddie’s, but Jack said it would be quicker if we cut down a grassy slope back to the car.”

“So you’re absolutely sure Eddie wasn’t there at any time while you were there getting the water for the Ford’s radiator?” asked Detective Barnes.

“No, no, he was at work. I already told all of this to the police when it happened. Do you want me to continue or is that enough? I really don’t like talking about this.”

“Tell us what happened when you started back,” said Detective Griffin.

“Well, we had just started down the hill, Jack was in front singing some new Beatles song, when he tripped on a tree root and fell. The slope was quite steep and he rolled down the hill for quite a ways before coming to a stop against a rock outcropping. I started to run down the incline after him and I fell too, but I only rolled for a little bit. When I got to Jack, I saw that he had hit the back of his head on a rock and…and he was dead.”

Jill started sobbing and Detective Griffin went to look for some tissues for her. Detective Barnes remained in her chair staring at Jill. She decided to give her a few minutes to get herself composed before continuing. She went into the kitchen and found Detective Griffin going through the cupboards.

“Ya know, ya should have a warrant before ya start going through things,” said Detective Barnes.

“Geez Louise, Carla, I’m just lookin’ for some Kleenex,” Bill responded with a chuckle.

“I was just jerkin’ your chain a little, but I do think we have to be careful here; I don’t think she told the truth back then and I don’t think she’s telling the truth now. Here, just take a clean dish towel out to her and let’s get started again.”

“Ms. Masterson,” said Detective Barnes. “We will be talking to your brother when we go to New York City to see him later on in the week. We’ve already spent the last two weeks going through all of the evidence and the interviews and have also reviewed medical records from back then of the people who may have been involved. I think that before we go any further, we should read you your rights. You have the right to remain silent…”

“Wait a minute,” said Jill. “I haven’t done anything wrong. Why are you reading me my rights like I’m some criminal?”

“We’re now to a point where we’re going to be talking about some things that were not in your original interviews,” said Detective Griffin. “Do you wish to waive your right to counsel at this time?”

“I told you I didn’t do anything wrong; I don’t need a lawyer.”

“So you want to stick to your original story?” asked Detective Barnes. “That story being that Jack fell down and cracked his head on the rocks and that you, Jill, came tumbling after?”

Jill’s mouth opened as if she was going to say something, but then it snapped closed again. Detective Griffin’s face registered puzzlement at the phrasing of Detective Barnes’s statement but he carried on with the questioning.

“How about this for a story?” said Detective Griffin. “While you and Jack were filling up the pail of water, your brother Edward came out of the house to the garage to see what was going on. He said something to Jack about how he didn’t want an Indian dating his little sister and Jack popped him in the nose. Jack said that you both were leaving and turned to walk back to the car with the water. Your brother, blood running down his face from his nose, picked up a rock from the rubble near the side of the garage and smashed it into the back of Jack’s head. When you two saw that Jack was not just knocked out, but dead, Eddie, or you and Eddie, decided to throw him down that incline and make it look like an accident. We checked old medical records in Jerome and your brother came in for treatment for a broken nose two days after Jack’s death. We think that your brother’s blood got on Jack’s shirt when he carried or dragged him to the top of the incline before throwing him down it.”

Jill had been listening in horror as Detective Griffin had been telling the story as if he’d actually been there. “I’m not going to say anymore; I want a lawyer.”

She asked to get her purse before going downtown.

“It’s in the bedroom; I’ll just be a minute,” she said.

Detective Barnes went with her to the bedroom and stopped to look out the patio door windows. “You have a really nice view of the mountains from…”

A single gunshot brought Detective Griffin from the living room. He saw Detective Barnes with her back to the windows and a look of horror on her face. Jill Masterson was lying dead on the floor.

***

After making a call to the New York City Police in Queens and then completing a couple of hours of paperwork, Carla and Bill were working on a pitcher of beer at Paul & Jerry’s Saloon in Jerome.

“I really fucked up,” said Carla. “It happened so fast; I stopped to look at the view, heard a drawer open, and when I turned around she had the barrel in her mouth.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself; nothing she had said made it seem like she was suicidal.”

“What a weird twist to a weird case,” said Carla.

“Jack and Jill went up the hill…”

“What did you say?”

“Nothin’, Carla, just thinkin’ me thoughts. Just thinkin’ me thoughts. Sit tight; I’m gonna get us another pitcher.”

THE END

THE HERO

Roy Dorman

Wilson Anderson is fourth in line to checkout at the little gas-and-go market. He’s in a little berg in Vermont, travelling from Wisconsin on his Spring Break. A high school English teacher recently divorced and in his late fifties, he’s seeing the northern part of the East Coast for the first time.

Just ahead of him is a Vermont State Trooper holding a can of soda and two bags of chips. He’s broad shouldered and seems to be in quite good physical condition. Wilson’s eyes stray from the trooper’s back to his gun belt. The strap that should be securing his pistol has come undone and the pistol’s grip is open to anyone.

The stranger reaches for the sheriff’s gun and orders everyone to the floor. He steps behind the counter and takes all of the cash from the register. Warning the clerk, stocker boy, two customers, and the sheriff to stay put or he will kill them, he then flees the scene in a late-model Ford…

The line hasn’t moved, but Wilson has taken a step forward while daydreaming. He accidentally nudges the trooper who then turns and gives Wilson a look that says he should back off a bit.

The lawman’s eyes are quite bloodshot and he has at least a three day beard growth. His uniform is too tight in some places and too loose in others…

The clerk, an older man who is probably the owner, is bagging the items purchased by a talkative local. They both seem oblivious to the other shoppers in line and go on and on about somebody’s teenager who apparently has gone missing. The trooper clears his throat. The clerk quickly thanks the customer and moves on to the next in line.

Wilson stands with his quart of chocolate milk, both now sweating as the temperature in the store starts to rise as noon comes on. Once again his eyes are drawn to the trooper’s gun butt. After a bit, he looks up and sees the stocker boy, not long out of his teens, staring at him. The stocker pointedly looks from Wilson’s eyes to the trooper’s exposed gun. He then looks up again at Wilson and gives him an almost imperceptible nod. Is it a signal? If so, what could it mean?

The cop is not a cop. If anyone is going to stop this afternoon from turning into a bloodbath it’s going to have to be the handsome, not-from-around-here, schoolteacher…

When the trooper finally reaches the register, Wilson grabs the gun from his holster and takes a couple of steps back. He holds the gun in front of him with both hands and has it pointed at the trooper’s chest.

“Get down on the floor!” yells Wilson. “Do it now or I’ll shoot you where you stand.”

The trooper eases himself to the floor. “You’re making a big mistake here, mister. Just put the gun on the floor next to me and put both hands on the counter,” he says with a professional calm.

Wilson looks at each of the other three still in the little grocery. He meets their eyes one at a time and they tell him nothing. There is no surprise, fear, or anger in any of the three; only a blankness as if they are watching a rather boring episode of a law and order show on television.

He looks once again at the owner and sees him cut his eyes to the trooper on the floor. The trooper is up on one knee and looks to be getting ready to jump at Wilson. Wilson fires a shot that hits the floor about two inches from the trooper’s right hand.

Whoever this is on the floor, he’s dangerous and would have no qualms about killing everybody…

Immediately after Wilson’s shot into the floor, there is another shot. It comes from the pistol the grocer keeps in a drawer under the cash register and it catches Wilson Anderson in the left shoulder and spins him around. A second shot goes into his left eye.

St. Albans, Vermont. A Benson’s Corners, Vermont, grocery clerk is being hailed as a hero after he successfully stopped what could have resulted in the murder of possibly four persons, including a Vermont State Trooper. Cletus Farnum, age 67, owner of Farnum’s Grocery in Benson’s Corners, shot and killed Omro, Wisconsin, school teacher Wilson Anderson after Anderson had managed to take Trooper Jake Westfall’s pistol. Farnum, Westfall, Anderson, stock boy Jesse Donaldson, and customer Alice Grimswald were at Farnum’s Grocery yesterday at noon when the incident took place.

“I looked in his eyes and saw the Eyes of Evil,” said Alice Grimswald. “They were cold, dead eyes. If it hadn’t been for Mr. Farnum we’d all have been killed.”

Omro Police said Anderson was travelling during his break from teaching in Wisconsin and had never had any run-ins with the law prior to yesterday’s events. Those friends, relatives, and co-workers who could be reached had no comment to make other than to say that Anderson was a wonderful teacher and was well respected in the town of Omro.

Two’s a Crowd

by Roy Dorman

Annie Cabot was in the bedroom, looking out the window, when the doorbell rang. She had been in the process of closing the drapes when she had noticed the harvest moon hanging low in the eastern sky.

Annie glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was 9:45.

“Now who could that be, this late? Maybe whoever it is will go away if nobody answers.”

She just stood where she was, listening to the repeated ringing of the doorbell. Finally, whoever it was, stopped.

Annie pulled the drapes and was coming out of the bedroom, when she heard a sound that she recognized as the patio door slowly sliding open. She couldn’t remember locking it and apparently she hadn’t.

Stepping back into the now-darkened bedroom, she watched and listened.

Whoever it was crept silently into the living room by way of the patio entryway. He was a big guy; a lot bigger than Annie. He had on a suit and tie and was carrying an expensive-looking leather briefcase.

What he did next puzzled Annie, at first. He took off his suit coat, and folding it neatly, set it on the floor. From the briefcase, he took out a black sweatshirt. He put the sweatshirt on and put the suit coat into the briefcase.

This guy’s smart, thought Annie. He comes to the door in a suit and tie carryin’ a briefcase. If somebody answers, he tries to sell ‘em something or pretends he’s lost. If nobody’s home, once inside, he puts on his work clothes.

Annie quietly took a golf club from the bag propped up in the corner behind the bedroom door. She soundlessly walked from the bedroom to the living room, where the intruder was checking out some of the knickknacks on the fireplace. When she got close enough, she swung the golf club like a baseball bat and connected with the back of the would-be burglar’s head.

He went down in a heap, and Annie nudged him a few times with her toe to make sure he wasn’t faking.

“I was here first, asshole,” Annie whispered. “I shoulda locked that patio door, but I didn’t expect no company. Anyhow, it’s first come, first serve. By the time you come to, this place’ll be cleaned out.”

VISITORS

Roy Dorman

“Come on, it’ll be an adventure,” Bill Zander said to his wife, Elena. “The forecast says it’s going to be sunny and warm this Saturday. I told Don I’d run it past you and let him know tomorrow at work. The guy’s lonely; he lives on an island, for chrissakes. He could use some company.”

“Is it just going to be the three of us?” asked Elena. “I’ll feel like a third wheel if you guys start talking shop.”

“I promise I’ll keep the shoptalk to a minimum. Don’s a Native American folklore buff. He’s an interesting guy; I’m sure you’ll like him.”

“Okay, but if I give you the sign, you’ll start making the “gotta get going” noises, right? I don’t want to look like a nag in front of one of your office-mates.”

“Deal.”

***

Bill and Elena drove out of town about noon on Saturday, headed for Moosehead Lake. As had been predicted, the weather was fine. Summer was often a long time coming in Maine, but when it finally arrived, it was beautiful.

Bill had seen pictures of Don Penley’s house at work. It was a two-story log cabin with two small outbuildings. The island was about five acres, fairly circular, and had woods on everything that wasn’t house, outbuildings, a small beach, and the boat dock.

Moosehead Lake was only about 20 miles from Greenville and an easy commute for Don. It was a fairly large lake, but had only one inhabited island; Don’s island.

Bill parked their car in the boat dock parking lot off the highway per Don’s instructions. There were two other cars and four pick-ups, all with boat trailers attached to them.

“I’ll call Don and let him know we’re here; he said it would only take him a few minutes to get here from his place.”

***

About ten minutes later, Don pulled up to the pier in a Johnson-powered fishing boat. After introductions, Bill and Elena put the stuff they had brought with them into the boat.

“It’s a good thing we didn’t bring anything more or there wouldn’t have been room for us,” joked Bill.

“Hey, no problem,” said Don. “I could’ve made two trips.”

“But then I’d have had to stay by myself either on this side or on the island,” said Elena.

Don started laughing shrilly at that. Then, seeming to catch himself, abruptly cut it off. He bent over in the boat and started to arrange things so that the boat would be balanced.

Elena looked at Bill and mouthed the word “creepy.” Bill looked a little embarrassed for his friend and shrugged. He was thinking maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea; maybe he should have come alone.

Don started the engine and they headed for the island. He nodded and smiled as they bounced over the small waves, but all three of them knew that the mood had already been dampened.

***

Don started the coals in a huge Weber grill and there was a nice picnic table on the front lawn with a view of the lake.

“I’ll bring out the cooler and we can have drinks while the coals are getting hot.”

After he had gone inside, Bill and Elena turned to each other and both whispered at the same time.

“I shouldn’t have come,” said Elena.

“I shouldn’t have brought you,” said Bill.

“Shhh! Here he comes,” they both said together. Then they laughed crazily like naughty kids who have been caught by the grown-up.

Don at first looked puzzled and then relieved. Earlier it had looked like the visit may have been over before it had started. That wouldn’t have been good at all.

“I made a pitcher of sangria earlier,” he said, setting the dark red drink on the table. “I hope you like it. I make it with more vodka and no gin. I find the gin masks the flavor of the wine too much. Try it and tell me what you think.”

“Oh, it’s great,” said Elena, taking a sip. “I love it.”

“Yeah, this is pretty good, Don,” said Bill. The ice is a nice touch on a warm day.”

“You two just sit in the lawn chairs, relax, and look at the lake. I’ll put some burgers and brats on the grill. I have some fresh-caught perch too; fish are great on the grill.”

Bill re-filled their glasses with sangria as Don walked back into the house to get the food.

“Thish stuff’s really tasty, but it’s kinda strong, ain’t it,” said Bill, slurring his words a little.

Elena took a long drink. “Yeah, it’s strong, but delicious. Hmm…. Ya know, I feel like I could take a nap right here in this chair….”

…. images of a wolf-like man swooping down from tall fir trees and carrying off a screaming Native American woman. Villagers running from their tents and leans-tos yelling “Wendigo” and pointing at the sky….

…. pieces of bloody bodies, hanging in the branches of trees, savaged by an animal out of a nightmare….

…. a Wendigo, standing in front of him, huge slavering tongue lolling on sharp teeth, Elena, unconscious, thrown casually over it’s shoulder….

Bill jerked awake and found the sun was setting across the lake. “Elena, wake up! Something’s not right; we got here a little after noon and now the sun’s setting.”

He looked at Elena’s empty chair and overturned his own chair struggling to get out of it. “Elena! Penley! Where are you?”

***

Bill followed the footprints of some sort of animal from Elena’s chair to where they abruptly ended in the sand forty feet from the water. He stood there and looked back and forth from where the tracks started and where they ended. There was nothing to show that whatever made these tracks had walked up from the lake to the chairs – just tracks from Elena’s chair to where they ended. And there were no signs of Elena’s tracks except with his and Don’s from the pier to the chairs.

“Penley! Don Penley! Where are you?”

“It has her…., I drugged the sangria…., it took her when you were both asleep….”

Bill turned to see an ashen-faced Don Penley looking at him with red-rimmed eyes.

“What are you talking about, Don? What has her?”

“I brought it here by calling its name in my sweat lodge,” said Don. “The smoke had produced visions other times and a voice in the visions kept telling me to bring a sacrifice. I’m so sorry, Bill, I thought I was only going through the motions of what I read in some old books.”

“But where is she, Don? What has Elena and how do we get her back?”

“I have no idea, Bill. I’m sorry, but I don’t have a clue as to what to do next.”

Then, from the tall old trees behind the house came a series of blood-curdling screams. The screams sounded like Elena, but didn’t. Bill had never heard screams like these in his life.

The sound of rushing wind and the blur of something flying out of the trees directly at them caused both Bill and Don to hit the ground and cover their faces. There was a deafening growl from just overhead and then the thump of something heavy landing in the sand twenty feet from them.

The Wendigo had returned with Elena. It threw her roughly onto the sand near the two men. Walking up to Bill, it kicked him sharply in the head, knocking him unconscious. It picked up Don and shook him like a ragdoll, its hot breath singeing his eyebrows. Then, giving him a level stare, it shook him once more and tossed him to the ground.

Running swiftly for about thirty feet, it leaped into the air and disappeared into the trees, leaving a charnel house stench in its wake.

***

On Elena’s orders, Don tied and gagged Bill before putting him in the boat. Then, with Elena seated in the bow, her clothing singed and torn, he started across the lake to the boat dock parking lot and she and Bill’s car.

Don looked down at his co-worker, who still appeared to be unconscious on the bottom of the aluminum boat. He nudged Bill with his toe to see if he could get a response. Nothing.

When he looked up, he saw Elena staring at him. Her eyes momentarily took on a bright red color and she smiled at Don, showing all of her teeth. And then she screamed. And screamed again. There was an answering series of screams from back at the island and a flock of ducks rose from the lake and flew off in a rush toward the mainland. Bill moaned in his sleep but didn’t awaken. Elena sniffed the air and gave a guttural chuckle when she noticed that both Don and Bill had pissed their pants.

Don turned in his seat a bit as if to adjust something on the boat’s engine. He wondered if he had the nerve to return to his home on the island. When he finished the adjusting charade, he didn’t look back at Elena. Instead, tears streaming down his cheeks, he kept his eyes on the boat dock in the distance, silently wishing it closer…..

***

As Don continued to gaze trancelike at the shoreline, Elena bent down and slowly licked one of Bill’s forearms. Out of the corner of his eye Don then saw her tentatively bite the arm as if to test the sharpness of her teeth versus the toughness of Bill’s skin.

This broke him out of his reverie and without thinking about it, he pulled the flare gun out from under his seat and shot Elena in the chest as she sat up from tasting Bill. The Wendigo Elena exploded into a raging inferno that burned wildly for a few seconds while she gave out with screams even louder than the previous calls.

Don heard one long answering howl come from behind him. Turning, he saw all of the buildings on his island were completely engulfed in flames, and the Wendigo, screaming and flying low across the water, was heading straight for him. In the next few seconds it reached him and with razor-sharp talons on massive forepaws, tore his head off, taking it as a trophy as it turned and headed back to the island.

Blood spurting from the severed artery in his neck, Don slumped over into the bottom of the boat and landed on the still-unconscious Bill and a smoking Elena. The boat continued toward the boat dock where a couple of fishermen had come from their trucks to the shoreline to see what was happening. The boat beached itself a bit off the mark and the police were called.

***

“What’s a Wendigo, Sarge?” asked Johnny Taylor, a recent recruit to the Greenville Police Department.

“Damned if I know,” said his sergeant, Ed Wilson. “That’s all the guy’ll say, but damned if I know what he means.

***

A year later, almost to the day, Bill Zander made arrangements to have a fisherman boat him out to the island. He carried Elena’s ashes in a copper urn and planned to scatter them among the ashes of the burned buildings.

At the end, she may have been more Wendigo than wife and Bill felt this would be a sort of closure for Elena and the Wendigo.

And for himself. He had been feigning unconsciousness during the last leg of the boat ride and still had nightmares of Elena ghoulishly tasting his arm and of Don’s headless torso falling on top of him in the boat.

He wasn’t afraid the Wendigo might still be on the island. He actually hoped it was still there, rather than having gone back to where ever Don had called it from.

While the guy he rented the boat ride from looked on in puzzlement, Bill made a paste from lake water and a little of Elena’s ashes and streaked it down his cheeks like war paint. He knew if the opportunity came up confronting the beast would be suicidal, but he figured to get in a few good licks with the new hunting knife he carried in the sheath at his side.

ALIBI, INC.

by Roy Dorman

The dame who walked into my office didn’t quite fit the bill. Oh, she was dressed to the nines and had a face to die for, but she had a fistful of hundreds in one hand and a .38 special in the other. Most of my clients kept their cards a little closer to the vest.

“I need to have been someplace else this morning,” she said.

I didn’t tell her, but I’d had that very thought run through my mind every day for the last two years.

“Most of the bars are still closed, but I suppose I could set you up at a gym.”

I deal in alibis. Somebody does somethin’ they shouldna done, and don’t want to pay the price for doin’ it, I set ‘em up with an alibi. I’ve got a string of staff on retainer in a variety of businesses who ain’t afraid of a perjury rap.

Now, I don’t have “Alibi, Inc.” stenciled on the glass on my office door; that would be dumb. My business cards and my tax man say I’m a licensed private dick. Alibis are just one of my many services. I also do ID changes, relocations, motel room photography, and all of the other sleazy gigs that come with the private dick territory.

“Don’t you want to know what I’ve done?” she asked, all wide-eyed, still pointing the gun at me.

“Nah, that .38 tells me I’ll prob’ly be readin’ about it in the papers.”

In this business, the less ya know, the better. I was curious as to why she was pointin’ the gun at me when she had money clutched in her other hand, but figured we’d get to that eventually.

I called the gym, found out who was workin’ this morning, and set it up.

“So, here’s the deal. The owner of the gym is Monty Schwartz. The trainers this morning are Herb and Lisa. You were there all morning, tryin’ the place out to see if you wanted to buy a membership.”

I took a head and shoulders shot of her with my cell phone and sent it to Monty.

“That’s it? I lie, they lie, and you get paid for it?”

“It’s a livin’. And, hey, don’t forget about the part that you don’t go to prison. As to my pay, how ‘bout you give me the gun and half the money ya got there and we’ll call it square? Ya prob’ly don’t want that piece anywhere near you, when the questions start, right?”

“How about I just shoot you and keep both the gun and the money? I already have an alibi.”

“Smart cookie, ain’tcha? I like that. How about us goin’ to lunch; I’ll buy.”

“Sounds swell, big spender. Then I’ll have an alibi for this afternoon too, won’t I?”

I turned the sign on the door over to “CLOSED” and locked up. Smart, funny, good lookin’, and knows how to use a gun. I’m thinkin’ this could be the start of somethin’ big.

THE RETIREE’S EPIPHANY

Roy Dorman

James Callaghan was not paying much attention to his surroundings when a car pulled up alongside him and someone got out. He almost walked into the young punk who was now blocking his way on the sidewalk.

“Gimme your wallet, old man,” said the punk.

James looked around like he was waking from a dream. He was recently retired from working construction and hadn’t really found anything to do with his new-found wealth of spare time. It was still early, only about eleven o’clock, and he hadn’t strayed too from his neighborhood. But apparently he had strayed far enough. He’d been….restless.

“I’ll give you my cash, but I’m keeping my wallet,” he said, taking his wallet from his back pocket. “Credit cards, drivers license….all that stuff is really a pain in the butt to replace. Here, take the cash.”

“You’re not making the rules here, Jack. Gimme the wallet.”

“I’m not giving you the damn wallet. If you won’t just take the cash, you’ll have to fight me for the wallet.” James had no idea why he said that. He hadn’t been in a fight since high school.

“I’m not kiddin’. Give it up.”

“If you take the cash, I won’t even call the cops. If you beat me up, that’s assault. Assault and robbery. You ready for that?” said James without hardly any tremor in his voice. He assumed what he hoped looked like a credible karate fighting stance.

“Hey, buddy, ya need some help over there?” A car had pulled up behind the car the would-be robber had gotten out of and the driver looked at the two of them through his passenger side window.

James hoped the new arrival was offering help to him and not the stick-up guy.

“This low-life’s trying to steal my wallet. I didn’t bring my phone; could you call 911 for me?” he said.

“Arnie! Get in in the damn car. We’re gettin’ outta here. Now!”

“Shut up, Lizzy!” said the robber, now known as “Arnie.”

“So, we got first names, Arnie and Lizzy,” said James. “You two new at this?”

“Cops are called and I got their license number,” called the guy in the second car.

“Forget that fuckin’ douche bag, Arnie,” yelled Lizzy. “There’s lots more old farts with wallets in the Bronx. Let’s go.”

James walked over to the car. “Who you calling a fuckin’ douche bag?” he said, kicking out one of the tail lights.

Lizzy started driving away without even taking time to close the passenger side door. Arnie yelled at her to stop and ran to catch her. She slowed down enough for him to jump in and they took off, turning the corner at the next block.

“No harm, no foul, right?” said the man who had pulled up earlier. “I can give you a ride home if you want.”

James walked over to the passenger side window and looked in. “Don’t you think we should wait for the cops? Those dopes didn’t get anything, but we can still give them their descriptions.”

“I didn’t call the cops. Get in.”

James looked down to the passenger’s seat and saw a .45 was pointed up at him.

“Go to hell,” he said, and started walking away.

After almost fifty years of taking orders from somebody or other, James had told himself that in retirement he wouldn’t take any guff from anybody. And now something he couldn’t quite put his finger on had also taken place in his psyche. He felt….different.

The man drove slowly next to curb, pacing James. “I’m Bobby. You’re….?”

“James.”

“I like your style, James. I’ve got some work now and then for somebody like you. Ya interested?”

“I’m retired,” said James. “I’m done havin’ people tell me what to do.”

“So, I’ll ask nicely rather than tell ya. That work for you? Small jobs at a thousand a pop…”

James stopped and laughed. “Who do I kill for a thousand a pop?”

“The grand is for things like drop-offs and pick-ups; stuff like that,” said Bobby. “Maybe do some driving for me when I have a stop to make and wanna leave the car runnin’. If I need ya to kill somebody, I’ll pay more.”

James had never even had a parking ticket in his life. But retirement hadn’t proven to be very much fun so far and he felt this Walter Mitty rush coming over him. If this guy was for real, James thought he could maybe finish this life with a little pizzazz.

James opened the door and got in. “I’m at 812 Chestnut. You go a few blocks down 233rd Street, then down Bronxwood, and then…”

“I know where Chestnut Street is.”

“Ya know,” said James after they had been driving for a few blocks. “It would probably be a good idea if I had one of your small jobs sooner rather than later. If I have too much time to think about this, I’ll probably come to my senses and chicken out.”

“Ya don’t seem like a ‘chicken out’ kinda guy to me,” said Bobby. “I’m a pretty good judge of human nature. But I’ll get ya somethin’ tomorrow if it makes ya feel better.”

***

The next day, James got a call from Bobby. Bobby had given him a throwaway cell phone and three hundred dollars in good faith money. He had also given James a .38 Special and a new shoulder holster. James felt the phone, money, and gun were probably Bobby’s way of manipulating him, but he had decided overnight that this was something he was going to do.

James’ first job was to take the trains down to the Bowery in the East Village and pick up a package from what turned out to be an upscale flower shop. Bobby had decided that since James didn’t have a car, James would use buses and the subway. With cabs there was more record-keeping involved and also closer face-to-face contact.

“I’d like to talk to the manager about placing a large order for a funeral,” recited James to the young woman behind the counter.

“And when will the funeral be?” came the required response.

“He’s not dead yet,” answered James.

The young woman walked into the back and came out with a woman closer to James’ age who was carrying a shopping bag with the store’s logo.

“You’re new,” she said.

“I’ve been around the block a few times,” answered James with a chuckle.

“Oh, did you have trouble finding us?” asked the younger woman.

James smiled at her and then said to the older woman, “Aren’t young people just precious?”

“Well, take care and I hope to see you again,” she said, handing the bag to James. “Soon.”

***

James didn’t trust Bobby and he didn’t think he’d be able to trust the clients Bobby sent him to visit. Something at that first job made him think the possibility of danger had just been ratcheted up a bit.

He had seen something when he was leaving the flower shop that he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to have seen. When he had reached to open the glass door to go, the reflection in it was that of the front counter. Only the younger woman was in that reflection.

James was not entirely surprised by this. After the goings-on of the last twenty-four hours it would have been hard to surprise him. He used that lack of presence in the reflection for what it was – data. It told him Bobby was most likely not the highest level of authority in this organization. He was probably just a delivery boy like himself.

James had been flattered when he thought the woman may have been sending a friendly vibe his way. Now he realized he may have interpreted it incorrectly. Even so, he knew he was really committed to this walk on the wild side when he found himself hoping Bobby would have another pick-up in the Bowery soon.

James thought she had very nice eyes.

***

Four weeks went by before Bobby told James he had a pick-up for him in the Bowery. James had had one drop-off near Times Square during that time period and it had gone well.

In the meantime, Bobby had arranged for James to get a private investigator license and this entitled him to get a concealed-carry permit for his .38. The private dick cover was important because even if James never had a need to pull out his piece, the chance of him being frisked during a routine stop could cause problems for everybody if he had no permit.

WILD FLOWERS was the name of the shop and the password phrases were the same. James was handed the shopping bag and felt a thrill when the woman held the bag a little longer this time, causing a lingering touch of their hands.

“I know we’re not supposed to exchange names or engage in conversation, but you could call me “Rose” if you’d like. And there’s a little coffee shop down the block; we could have some coffee and keep the conversation light and not work related.”

“I’m James. You can call me James,” said James with what he hoped was a warm smile. “A coffee break sounds swell. I don’t bother much with petty work rules. I do my job and that’s what I get paid for.”

They found a table by the window and ordered coffee and croissants. For a minute, they just watched the passers-by hurrying to and from their important business doings.

A young mother with a stroller accidentally bumped their table and Rose’s cup of coffee looked like it was going to end up in her lap. But both the spilled coffee and the cup and saucer stopped in mid-aid and hovered a few inches above the table.

James had reacted quickly. He had set his cup down and had both hands around Rose’s cup just as its fall had been arrested. Now he held it, leaning across the table looking at Rose, while a loud, but not unpleasant, choral refrain sang in his head. Slowly, the cup in his hands allowed itself to be lowered to the table and the errant coffee surged back into the cup without a drop spilled. The refrain slowly subsided.

James took his hands from the cup and smiled at Rose.

“Good trick,” he said.

“I suppose this raises some questions,” said Rose. “I was hoping to be friends.”

“Anything’s possible,” said James. “And when I say, ‘Anything’s possible,’ I mean just that. Anything’s possible.”

James then told Rose about the attempted robbery and meeting Bobby. He told her how he had gone from a mild-mannered retired construction worker to an underworld bag-man.

“Something happened to the way my brain’s wired during that robbery attempt. I mean, my idea of reality and some of my core values have changed. I don’t know if I’m explaining it very well, but I’m not completely ‘me’ anymore.”

“I think that a lot of ‘you’ is still in there,” said Rose. “You just appreciate the ‘more’ there can be in life. And you want it. Am I right?”

James stared at Rose. She had put into words what he hadn’t been able to do.

“When I left your flower shop the first time, there was a reflection of the front counter in the glass door. Your side-kick was in it, but you weren’t. At some level, I’d like to know more. But maybe I should just keep letting the whole scenario unroll day by day. For some reason I trust you. What do you think?”

“I think we both have to be very careful for a while. I’m going to go back to my shop and you’re going to deliver the package to Bobby. Please don’t mention our coffee date to him or anyone else. If it’s okay, I’ll be at your house at ten o’clock tonight to talk.

“It’s in the Bronx, at…,” started James.

“I know where you live, James.”

“Will I have to invite you in?’

“Well, I would hope you would,” said Rose.

***

After meeting Bobby in the park to drop off the package, James stopped at a liquor store and picked up a couple bottles of merlot. They had chips and dip, so he got some of them too. He laughed at himself for the preparations – they made him feel like a nervous school boy. But he had to admit he was enjoying the feeling.

At ten o’clock, the doorbell rang. When James opened the door, he found Rose standing on his front porch with a bouquet of roses and a small cake box.

“Well?” said Rose.

“Rose, welcome, please enter my humble abode,” said James.

“So that’s done,” said Rose. “Do you trust me enough to take off that shoulder holster?”

“I kept it on in case you showed up with Bobby,” said James. “If that happened, I was going to kill him. I don’t know what would have happened next.”

Rose shrugged. “So, merlot and chips and dip. I’m impressed,” she said, looking at the array on the coffee table. “I bet you even did a little straightening up. You consistently show me that I’ve not made a horrible blunder.”

Rose set the flowers and cake box on the table and kissed James on the lips. It wasn’t a passionate kiss; just a “good to see you” kiss.

James took off the shoulder holster and set it on an end table. He opened one of the bottles of merlot and poured two glasses.

“To us,” he said, toasting her.

“To us,” Rose said back to him.

For the next hour they talked about music, books, and art. They talked about current events, the neighborhood, and the cost of a bottle of good wine. They talked about everything except that Rose was most probably a vampire.

“Bobby killed those two who tried to rob you,” said Rose, finally bringing up something work-related. “He ran into them at a 24/7 they were trying to hold up. He shot them both in the back and fled the scene. Now the police are looking for him. Damn him, he knew a low profile was essential to his position.”

“Won’t the big boss be pissed?” asked James.

“I’m the ‘big boss,’ James. And yes, I was very pissed”

James let that piece of information sink in. “If you’re here to ask me to take care of him, I don’t know if I can just straight out kill the guy. Not without him actually being a threat to me. Even having gone through some kind of weird epiphany, there would have to be a good reason for me to kill somebody. Even Bobby.”

“I thought that would be the case, so I had Leah kill him. Leah’s cover is one of being my assistant at the flower shop, but she is also my protégé, learning the darker arts.”

“Now, there’s somebody who is obviously good at acting her part,” said James. “I would have never expected she was capable of taking Bobby out.”

“I came here tonight to make you an offer. Leah and I are going to relocate to London soon. I’d like you to get a passport if you don’t have one, and also put your house on the market. If it doesn’t sell right away, I have a friend who will buy it.”

“Why me? What’s special about me? What can I offer that some other schmuck can’t give you?”

“I like you James, that’s ‘why you.’ I’d like you to be my companion. My human companion. I would like you to keep my human side alive. Do you think you’d like to do that?”

“What about Leah? Couldn’t she do it?”

“I’ve done something to Leah that has made her more like me than like you. What do you say? After London, it may be Paris. Or Rome. Maybe Cairo. Are you interested?”

The new wiring in James’ brain continued its evolution. He thought about the sharpened stake he had made from the end of a garden rake handle. It was easily accessible just under the couch. His mind played out what would happen if he plunged that stake into Rose’s heart. He saw her eyes open wide in surprise. Her body would then explode in a cloud of dust that would drift to the floor. His doorbell would ring and Leah would be standing there with crimson eyes and long canine teeth. She would say, “I’m the new boss and have you to thank for it. May I come in?”

James’ mind could just as easily conjure up the scenario that would play out if he didn’t use the stake. If he chose to, he could watch that scenario play out for minutes, hours, or even years.

James looked at Rose standing in front of him waiting for his answer. He decided not to see what his future with Rose would be. Not knowing seemed more human to him.

“Interested?” he said. “Hell, I haven’t been more interested in my life.”

END

GUNS ‘N MONEY

Roy Dorman

“I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”

Eddie Sanders had waited until the train had slowed down for a bend and had then jumped into the tall grass, ending in a rolling stop ten feet from a gravel road. Eddie was pushing thirty. He smoked too much, drank too much, and generally lived his life as he chose to.

As he sat up, he was immediately knocked back down as he was hit in the chest by a duffel bag that had been thrown from a speeding car. Stunned, Eddie found himself on his back, looking up at the sky. As he lay there, another car sped by, this one a police car, lights flashing and siren wailing.

Eddie decided to just stay where he was for a few minutes until he was sure the parade was over.

Eddie Sanders is a private investigator and has an office in New York City. But here he was, flat on his back somewhere in rural Illinois, probably thirty miles from Chicago. Eddie thought he’d have to add this incident to the growing list of fuck-ups that comprised what he liked to call the “go where the money is” stories of his investigative career.

The hood he had been tailing had made him about fifteen minutes out of Ohio and Eddie had escaped with his life by jumping from the train in the dark without his hat, coat, .38, or the travelling money stashed in his suitcase.

The plan had been to follow this errand boy back to Chicago with the hope he would lead Eddie to his client’s concern. Eddie’s client, Myron Weston III, had hired Eddie to find out if his wife, Olivia Weston, was behaving herself in Chicago. He had confided in Eddie that he hadn’t been able to reach her for a week.

The hood, Johnny Marco, had been hired by Olivia Weston to make sure her husband stayed in New York. Johnny was to let her know if her husband left. Johnny was about the same age as Eddie, but was pretty much his opposite in all other things. Johnny was a sharp dresser, kept himself fit, and turned the heads of many women younger than himself when he walked down the street.

Johnny had followed Myron Weston for a couple of days. One evening, Johnny had seen Weston’s driver pick up a woman Johnny recognized and he was pretty sure she had recognized him. After Weston had hired a couple of thugs to slap him around a bit, Johnny had decided his work was done in New York City and he started back to Chicago. Weston had hired Eddie to make sure Johnny got there and also to check on the little woman. He had also paid off the train’s dining car manager so that two more people could ride to Chicago in the kitchen in order to avoid being seen by a certain passenger. That passenger was Johnny Marco.

Now, as Eddie sat there by the tracks at two in the morning, starting to feel some stiffness set in from his jump from the train, he was thinking bad thoughts about the Westons and their so-called marriage. They were the reason he was in the middle of nowhere getting bitten by mosquitoes.

“And for this I make a good livin’,” muttered Eddie as he got up from the bushes.

He walked back up the grade to the train tracks so he wouldn’t be visible from the road. One or both of those cars would soon be coming back to check on the duffel bag he now carried. He sat down out of sight on the other side of the tracks and opened the bag.

“Well, well, well,” he said. “What have we here?”

With only the light of a full moon, Eddie could see the bag contained stacks of bank-wrapped bills and two pistols. He figured there was about twenty or thirty thousand dollars by a rough count. It was probably from a bank robbery earlier in the day in some nearby rural town.

The government said the Depression was finally over and maybe it was; there was starting to be money in the banks again. Eddie knew that this was good for the type of people who threw duffel bags out of cars.

“Guns ‘n money, but no hat or coat,” Eddie mused, smelling the money. “But I guess I can afford to buy what I need with this.”

Being a licensed private dick meant that Eddie was usually on the right side of the law. He had to be if he wanted to keep his license. But found money is found money. Eddie would not be making much of an effort to find out who this belonged to. Rather, he would be doing whatever it took to keep it from being recovered by either the cops or the robbers. In the meantime, he had to find a way to get to Chicago. There had to be a car around here that he could buy, rent, or “borrow.”

He clutched the handle of the bag of new found wealth, stood up and stretched. He figured he’d walk down the tracks for a while to put some distance between himself and the spot where the bag had been thrown from the car.

Now he was thinking that trying to get new clothes and a car, either by buying or stealing, would be a bad idea. The locals would take him for one of the robbers, and with the bag of money in hand it would be hard to convince somebody otherwise.

No, he’d walk the tracks until a freight train came along. It would be difficult to try and board another passenger train, but he could easily hitch a ride on a freight into Chicago and get lost in the crowd.

***

After walking on the tracks for only about a mile, Eddie was pulled from the random thoughts about his immediate future by the sound of someone moaning. He had thought himself alone out here in the boonies.

Eddie had stuck one of the pistols from the bag into his belt. He took it out and walked cautiously toward the moaning. Looking down from the tracks, he could see what appeared to be a big man lying on his stomach at the bottom of the embankment. Keeping his pistol pointed at the body, Eddie slowly walked down toward it.

When a couple of loose stones rolled down the embankment in front of Eddie, the guy lying there raised his head. “I could use some help here, buddy,” he said through clenched teeth.

Eddie was close enough now to see a knife protruding from near the man’s right kidney. The handle looked like the handle of a steak knife from the dining car where Eddie had been just an hour ago.

“You’re Johnny Marco, ain’t ya,” he said, “You were gonna shoot me back on the train when I came out of the men’s room.”

“Shoot first, ask questions later,” said Johnny with a laugh that turned into a gurgling cough.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to help ya much even if I wanted to,” said Eddie. “We’re a long way from civilization.”

“Nah, I know I’m a goner,” said Johnny. “I think some of Weston’s guys were on the train with us and must’ve been watchin’ me watchin’ you watchin’ me. While I was leanin’ out from the last car lookin’ for you, one of ‘em stuck me in the back and another flipped me over the railing.”

“I’m one of Weston’s guys,” said Eddie. “Weston wanted me to tail you back to Chicago to see if you’d lead me to his wife. Why would his guys mess up that plan?”

“Don’t know and don’t care,” said Johnny. “This whole deal is about people who don’t trust each other. It’s good they’re together; at least they aren’t messing up good people’s lives….” Another coughing fit interrupted Johnny’s tirade.

“Listen, Johnny, I’m gonna go on into Chicago. I’ll have the cops send somebody back for your body. Is there anybody else ya want me to notify?” said Eddie.

Johnny took a deep breath like he knew it was close to the last one he’d be taking. “Tell Olivia Weston that any money due me she should give to you. You can take my .38, my wallet, and that money to The Silver Dollar, a bar off State Street near that old water tower. Lillie Stanton sings there five or six nights a week. We were…, I thought we were an item, and I want her to know I was thinkin’ about her when I died. Can ya do that?”

“Ya, I can do all that, Johnny. I think we could’ve been friends if things would’ve been different. One more thing I’m gonna do for you – I’m gonna find the goons who stabbed ya in the back and do them the same. That’s a promise.”

***

When Eddie got to Chicago, he started to take care of business. He stashed the duffel bag in a locker in Union Station, keeping out enough cash for new clothes and other expenses. He introduced himself to the Chicago Police Department and gave them the story of the train ride from New York City. He told them approximately where they could find Johnny Marco’s body. Eddie told them about who had employed him and Johnny, but even though they wanted more, that’s all he told them.

Next, he went to see Olivia Weston. He found her by talking on the street until he found a friend of Johnny’s. Olivia Weston was a nasty piece of work, just as Eddie had figured she would be. She was in her mid-twenties, had a movie starlet’s face and hairstyle, and an overabundance of confidence.

“So, I’m supposed to give you that dummy’s paycheck because he wasn’t able to go to New York and get back here without getting himself killed?” she said, laughing at Eddie.

Eddie laughed back with equal cynicism. “Your husband might be interested in knowing there’s a young man lounging on your couch wearing a bathrobe with “MW III” embroidered on the top-left pocket.”

“Maybe Arthur could be a good boy and leave the room. I think I could change your mind about talking to my dear husband.”

“No thanks, Mrs. Weston. I’m a little particular about who I let try to change my mind about things.”

“You’re going to see Lillie, aren’t you,” Olivia said. “If you are, you’re as dumb as Johnny. You might want to check with the manager of The Silver Dollar as to what he knows about Lillie’s whereabouts for the last few days.”

“Thanks, but I can’t see how that’s any of your damn business,” Eddie replied as he walked out the door. He did wonder how somebody like hoity-toity Olivia Weston knew about regular folks like Johnny and Lillie.

Eddie left with two thousand dollars and the notion that he would have to watch his back very closely until this whole Weston mess was finished.

Later that night, about midnight, Eddie tipped the guy at the door of The Silver Dollar ten bucks to get a table near the front. He had a couple of beers during Lillie Stanton’s second set, and when she was taking a break, he got up from his table and approached her. “I’d like to speak with you for a few minutes about Johnny Marco when you’re finished for the night.”

“Sure,” she said. “I guess that’ll be okay….., yeah, yeah, we can talk about Johnny. Just follow me back to my dressing room when I’m through.”

Eddie could see that Johnny and Lillie would have made a nice-looking couple. Johnny had his rugged good looks and Lillie was a beautiful brunette. The way she fit into her outfit definitely complimented her singing voice.

Even though he hadn’t said what he wanted to talk to her about, Lillie looked worried during her final set and glanced over at Eddie from time to time. Once or twice a word seemed to get stuck in her throat and a few times she just hummed the words at the end of a line. Indecision and fear marred what would have been an otherwise fine performance.

In the little L-shaped dressing room, Eddie gave Lillie a small satchel with Johnny’s wallet, his .38, and the Olivia Weston payout. He explained what had happened on the train trip, leaving out the part where Johnny had tried to kill him.

“I knew it,” Lillie sobbed. “He called me every night, and when he didn’t call for three nights, I just figured he was on the train back. But I knew it didn’t take three days to get here from New York. I was fooling myself.”

“Johnny wanted ya to know he loved ya and was thinkin’ about ya when he died,” said Eddie. “Did anybody ya know have it in for Johnny – anybody ya know who would want to kill him?”

“Almost everybody loved Johnny, but he was in a rough line of work. He kept saying he was going to get into something a little more legit and we’d get married. And now…”

Just then the door of the dressing room opened. “Get packed, Lillie. Now that Johnny’s gone, Weston says you can go back….”

Eddie had had his gun in his hand the second the door opened. He now had it pointed at a tough-looking goon who had turned a bright red.

“What do you mean, ‘Johnny’s gone’?” asked Lillie. “What have you done to Johnny, Artie?”

Eddie noticed Lillie had also turned red and her question to the goon sounded like a line from a B movie.

“Up against the wall, Artie,” said Eddie, who then frisked him. “Something smells like week-old fish and I’m gonna find out what it is.”

Eddie stepped back a few steps so he could have his back to the wall and cover both Artie and Lillie. He didn’t really know Johnny, and Johnny had tried to kill him, but he had asked Eddie to do a few things for him with the last breaths of his life and Eddie was going to try and do right by him.

“I know this is gonna sound bad,” started Lillie. “I loved Johnny, but I got tired of waiting for him to marry me. He was always saying there’d be ‘just a couple more jobs.’ Mr. Weston came in one night with a bunch of businessmen when I was singing. He told me he could get me set up in New York City in a classier joint and maybe get me into show business. I was gonna break the news to Johnny when he got back. Honest, I didn’t know he was gonna be killed.”

Eddie listened to all this without saying anything. He remembered what Johnny had said about it being good that the Westons were together and not messing up good people’s lives. He wondered if there were any good people in this sordid mess.

While Lillie had been talking, Artie had been looking around the tiny room for an opportunity to turn the tables. Eddie had been watching Artie, and when Artie stopped looking, Eddie figured he was gonna make his move.

With a sweeping motion, Artie cleared everything from Lillie’s dressing table, sending a box of make-up powder into Eddie’s face. Eddie managed to shoot Artie in the knee and he went down. Lillie fell into a swoon and moved toward Eddie. As Eddie was reaching for Lillie to keep her from falling, he saw the knife she was thrusting toward his middle. Instead of catching Lillie, he grabbed the hand that was holding the knife and twisted her arm behind her back. He saw the knife was another from the train’s dining car.

“It was you!” he said. “You stabbed Johnny, and Artie pushed him from the train. I told Johnny I would put a knife in his killer’s back, Lillie, but life in prison thinking about what you threw away will be harder on you. Come on, you two, get movin’; we’re gonna go find a cop.”

***

As often happens in cases Eddie Sanders is involved in, there weren’t a lot of winners in this one. Artie turned on Lillie and Lillie turned on Myron Weston. After all of the plea bargaining was finished, a jury of their peers found all three guilty of the murder of Johnny Marco, and a judge sentenced them each to twenty -to-life terms.

Olivia Weston made some bad picks as to her lovers, with the last of the group setting her up to be kidnapped. From prison, Myron Weston refused to allow any funds to be used for the ransom, and Olivia was found floating in the Chicago River.

For reasons of his own, Eddie paid for the burial expenses and a stone for Johnny Marco with some of the money from the duffel bag that had been thrown from the car. That found money also allowed Eddie to be a little more picky in choosing his clients, and he actually enjoyed his work for a number of years.

THE END

DOING SOME RESEARCH

by Roy Dorman

Drinking beer

in a downtown dive bar

on a Tuesday afternoon

with only the bartender

and a Mickey Spillane paperback

for company,

I see myself as a character

in a novel I should be working on.

As if on cue, she walks in.

She takes in the bar

with a practiced ease

that tells me she knows

exactly what she’s looking for.

She walks up to me

and her emerald green eyes

give me a piercing stare.

As she leans into me

our faces are inches apart

and the smell of her perfume

is making me weak.

“Hey, handsome,”

she says in a husky voice.

“Get your butt in gear—

you said you’d mow the lawn

this afternoon.”

As we walk out,

I swear I can hear

a character

in the Spillane paperback

snickering.

Or maybe it was that hipster bartender.

DO I KNOW YOU?

Roy Dorman

Johnny Adams watched from his parked car as the guy he had been tailing for the last two days staggered out of Rizzo’s Dew Drop Inn. Johnny already had the engine running, and in five seconds he slammed into the guy just as he had made it to the middle of the street.

He quickly wiped the steering wheel for prints, jumped out of the car, wiped the door handle, and yelled, “Hey, stop him! He just ran this guy over!”

There wasn’t much pedestrian traffic at that time of night, but those who were on the street looked in the direction Johnny was pointing, and some started off after “him.” A couple of others were on their cell phones, probably calling 911.

***

“Yeah, I saw the whole thing,” said Johnny. “I was right here on the sidewalk, waitin’ to cross, when this guy, the dead guy, came outta that bar. This car came like a bat outta hell and smacked him as he got to the middle of the street. Knocked him twenty feet, at least. The driver jumped out and ran off in that direction.”

“Can you describe him?” asked Officer Ned Brown.

“Well, it was kinda dark, but he was well-dressed, ya know; nice suit. It was dark blue or black. Oh, and I just remembered; he had a rag or something that he wiped the door handle with. Like he was cleanin’ somethin’ off it.”

“Tall, short, young, old; any unusual characteristics?”

“I don’t know; sorta regular, I guess. Maybe six feet tall, well built. Maybe about thirty; he ran pretty good. Could’na been much older than thirty then, right?”

“Anything else you can tell us?”

“Nope. He took off runnin’ and never looked back once.”

“We may be in touch with you, Mr. …, Mr. Edwards,” said the officer, looking at the ID Johnny had given him. “Are you going to be in town?”

“Yup, sure am. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

***

Johnny Adams, a private investigator by trade, had stolen that car just a half hour before he killed Lance Nichols with it. He had shown the police a very good set of fake ID and they would never be able to connect him to the murder.

When they identified Lance Nichols, a hired gun with a long rap sheet, they would assume this was a revenge crime as payback from somebody Lance had wronged.

They were right about that. Johnny Adams was the one who had been wronged and he had wanted revenge.

This was not how Johnny normally took care of business. He would be the first to tell you that he was totally out of control.

***

Things had been going well for Johnny for almost six months. He had helped a client, Jennifer Ralston, locate her lost husband. Allan Ralston, an import/export wheeler-dealer, had disappeared after telling her he was going to Iran to purchase some antique Persian rugs.

Johnny’s legwork found that Allan Ralston had actually gone to South America to run away from gambling debts owed to the Russian Mafia. He was found, but he was found dead.

Jennifer and Johnny had hit it off from the get-go, and while their relationship wasn’t serious, they did enjoy each other’s company and liked to go out on the town now and then for a few laughs.

One of their favorite places to go, was a little dive bar in Queens called The Shot Glass. Long-time bartender, Sam Johnson, was a personal friend of Johnny’s and that friendship was the reason Johnny was out of control. It seemed that somebody had tried to get to Johnny through Sam and Johnny didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all.

***

“So, how ya feelin’ today,” said Johnny.

Johnny was visiting his friend, Sam, at Jamaica Hospital Medical Center in Queens. The swelling had gone down on Sam’s head, but his normal vibrant chocolate brown coloring was still a little off.

“Oh, I’m a little better; got some of those tubes out and I’m takin’ some solid food. Food’s not that good, but better than gettin’ it through an IV.”

“I still feel bad about you gettin’ beat up and almost killed because of me,” said Johnny.

After closing time one night last week, Sam had been emptying some trash in a dumpster outside of The Shot Glass when somebody, Sam was pretty sure it was Lance Nichols, had sucker punched him and then followed that up with some vicious kicks to his head.

“Don’t worry about it, Johnny, it wasn’t your fault. That Russian Mafia wanted to send a message and they used Lance Nichols to deliver it. It’s him I’m gonna have a talk to up close and personal when I’m all healed.”

“Yeah, about Lance Nichols; don’t mention his name to the cops if they question you some more. We should just keep —”

“I’m gonna handle Lance,” said Sam. “He’s mine.”

“Well, that’s kinda why I’m here this early in the morning. If you’re reading the paper or watching the news later, you might learn that Lance was killed last night in a hit and run accident. It wouldn’t be good if Lance was now somehow connected to you and me —”

Sam stared at Johnny for a bit before saying, “I said I was going to handle it. You had no right taking that away from me.”

“I think the mob’s still pissed about my part in sending Ralston’s partner, Richard Payton, to prison before they could collect any of the money he and Ralston owed them,” said Johnny. “They also never got any from Allan Ralston —”

“Can it, Johnny. I know you’re trying to distract me. I think you should leave. And when I get out of here, you can come around to The Shot Glass and apologize. I may be ready to accept your apology by then.”

***

“So, did you stop in to see Sam this morning?” asked Jennifer Ralston.

They were sitting in Jennifer’s living room having a glass of wine. “I hadn’t heard from you in a couple days and was starting to get a little worried.”

“I had some things to sort out and take care of. And yeah, I saw Sam. He’s gettin’ better, but was kinda crabby,” said Johnny.

“Maybe he was upset because you got into his business last night.”

“What? What are you talkin’ about?” said Johnny. “What business?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about. That was a stupid stunt you pulled and you’re not stupid. What’s gotten into you?”

“I wasn’t about to let that Russian mob think they could get away with almost killin’ one of my friends cuz they had a beef with me,” said Johnny.

“This wasn’t about you,” said Jennifer. “They had a beef with Sam and they sent him a message. Sam will be more careful from here on out. That will be better for everyone involved.”

“Why do I get the feeling that once again I don’t know what the hell’s really goin’ on,” asked Johnny. “This is just like six months ago when I was lookin’ for your husband. Bits and pieces came my way and I was supposed to put them together to make a pretty picture.”

“You know the expression, ‘What you don’t know won’t hurt you,’ right?” said Jennifer. “This is one of those things you don’t want to know so you won’t get hurt.”

“When you say ‘better for everyone involved,’ who’s ‘everyone?’” asked Johnny. “Cuz to me ‘everyone’ seems to be you, Sam, and the Russians. Not Johnny.”

“Oh, come on, relax. Have another glass of wine,” said Jennifer.

Johnny got up and put on his coat and hat. “Nah, I’m leavin’. I’m gonna get some answers. If not from you or Sam, from the mob. Stupid? Maybe. So sue me.”

***

“Zharkov? It’s Jennifer Ralston. We have a problem. And it’s because of your boy, Lance Nichols.”

“Oh, then it is okay, Ms. Ralston; Lance is dead. Last night, somebody —”

“Listen. I know Lance’s dead. The guy who killed him is going to be looking to see why Lance put a hurt on Sam Johnson last week. Johnny Adams is a personal friend of mine and I don’t want anything to happen to him. Anything, you hear?”

“If Adams killed Lance, maybe we should tip the cops off about —”

“No cops, Zharkov. And Johnny doesn’t get hurt while he’s nosing around. Got it? Tell him Lance has worked for you in the past, but acted on his own as to the Sam Johnson thing.”

“But, Ms. Ralston. I don’t think —”

“That’s right; you don’t think. You just do as I say.”

***

Johnny walked into Sveta’s House, a Russian restaurant in Queens, and sat down at the bar next to Dmitry Zharkov.

“Zharkov, we need to talk,” said Johnny. “You wanna talk here or someplace more private?”

Two of Zharkov’s goons had ambled over from a table in the back and now stood behind Johnny. Zharkov waived them off and they returned to their table.

“We can talk here if you can keep your voice down,” said Zharkov. “If you are going to yell and wave your arms in the air, we should probably go to my office in my apartment down the street.”

“We can talk here,” said Johnny. He asked the bartender for a Baltika Dark, a Russian beer he had heard about from Sam.

Zharkov sighed. “This is about Lance Nichols and Sam Johnson, is it not?”

“Everybody in Queens knows more about what’s goin’ on than I do,” said Johnny. “Bring me up to speed, Zharkov.”

“I will tell you some things that may ease your mind. I won’t be telling you how I run my business or who I run it with. My business is none of your business, you see?”

“So, ease my mind,” said Johnny. “Why did you have Lance Nichols rough up my friend, Sam Johnson?”

“Lance Nichols has done some work for me now and then, but whatever business he had with Sam Johnson was between him and Sam. Since Lance is now dead, you will have to talk to Sam about what their business was.”

“You probably won’t be too surprised if I tell ya I don’t believe that line of crap,” said Johnny. “I have it on pretty good authority that you used Lance to send Sam a message. Why would you, a big shot, need to send a bartender friend of mine a message? If you don’t level with me, we might have to go down to your office, cuz I’m startin’ to feel like yellin’ and wavin’ my arms in the air.”

Zharkov’s already thin lips got a little thinner. He absently scratched the side of his neck and motioned to his two bodyguards to come forward.

“I got it ‘on pretty good authority,’ as you say, that you would be coming around asking questions about this matter. I was told to tell you that Lance acted alone. I have told you Lance acted alone. Our business is finished. My men will show you out if you need assistance finding the door.”

Johnny threw the last little bit of beer in his glass into Zharkov’s face. He felt a sharp prick on his neck, struggled for a bit as two hands held him by the shoulders, and then everything went dark.

***

Johnny wafted into wakefulness. He was in a sitting position and his head was lying on his arms, which were resting on a hard surface. He could smell coffee and… rye bread?

Sitting up carefully and opening his eyes, he saw the familiar walls of his office. Sitting across his desk from him was Jennifer Ralston.

“I thought you might need this,” she said pointing at the coffee and ham sandwich.

“How’d I get here?” asked Johnny. He had trouble getting the words formed and they came out a little slurred. “And what are you doin’ here?”

“Dmitry Zharkov called me and I told him to have his boys bring you here. I guess you and I have some things to talk about. Before you get yourself killed.”

“So, do you work for Zharkov, or does he work for you? Is Sam on the mob’s payroll too?” said Johnny, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I’m not going to start at the beginning; it would take too long,” said Jennifer. “Zharkov and I are business partners. Sam owns the brownstone where Zharkov has his office and his immediate family and a couple of his employees live.”

“Wait, Sam owns a brownstone here in Queens? Can’t be; he lives in a little efficiency above The Shot Glass. I’ve been up there. Where would Sam get the money for a brownstone?”

“From Zharkov. Dmitry Zharkov has enough money to buy all the brownstones he wants, but the IRS would want to know where that money came from. The brownstone is in Sam’s name; he owns it free and clear and Zharkov pays him rent.

“Sweet deal; who’d he have to kill for that to happen?”

“Sam didn’t kill anybody,” said Jennifer. “He doesn’t have to do anything but collect the rent, pay the property taxes, arrange to have any repairs made, and keep his mouth shut.”

“So, assuming all you’ve said so far is true, and I don’t for a minute think it is, why did Zharkov send Lance Nichols to put a hurt on Sam?”

“Everything I said is true,” said Jennifer. “There’s a lot more that we’ll get to a little at a time. Sam got roughed up because he stuck his nose in Zharkov’s business. I talked to Zharkov about how sorry he’d be if he ever did something like that again to a friend of mine and he got the message.”

“Did you send somebody around to kick Zharkov in the head?”

“Shut up and eat your sandwich,” said Jennifer. “Here’s what happened: Sam went over to the brownstone to check on some repair work that had been done. Since nobody answered the door, he let himself in. When he called out to see if anybody was there, he heard a muffled response come from down in the basement.

“He went down to the basement and found a woman gagged and tied to a chair. Sam loosened the gag and she told him that when she had told Zharkov she wanted out of the “escort” business and wanted to go back to Russia, Zharkov had said he’d give her some time to think about it in the basement and then she could either go back to work or he would kill her.”

“And you’re partners with this guy?” asked Johnny.

“It’s business, Johnny; he’s a business partner, not a friend with benefits. So, anyhow, Sam cut her loose, jimmied a file in Zharkov’s office to get her passport and personal things, and arranged for her to fly back to Russia. Somehow, Zharkov found out about Sam’s part in it and wanted to let him know that sort of thing was not acceptable.”

“So if I wouldn’t have taken care of Lance, and Sam would have when he was well enough, how would Zharkov have been with that?” said Johnny.

“He would have been fine with that. I told him he was going to be fine with whatever Sam chose to do to Lance as payback.”

Johnny stared at Jennifer. It occurred to him that she was his “good authority” and also Zharkov’s.

“Well, don’t just sit there; say something,” said Jennifer. “Your brow is all scrunched up like you’re thinking hard.”

Johnny continued to stare at Jennifer a bit and then said, “I am thinkin’. I’m thinkin’ that I probably know a Russian Mafia boss better than my girl and my best friend. I’m thinkin’ I might need some time to reflect on things.

“I guess you’re saying I should leave, so I’ll go,” said Jennifer. “But one last bit of advice: Be careful reflecting; sometimes it can get you into even more trouble than you’re already in.”

Jennifer stood up and left Johnny’s office. Johnny sat there a few minutes and then made a phone call.

“Hello, Lester? Johnny Adams. Ya know that thing we talked about a while back? If you still want me, I think I’m ready to take you up on it. I need a change of scenery.”

“Ya bringin’ anybody with ya?” asked Lester Wilson. “Anybody important in your life right now? Cuz things can sometimes get a little dicey out here.”

Johnny sat for a bit doing some more reflecting. “Nope, nobody important in my life right now except me. I can catch a flight to LA tomorrow. See ya then, buddy.”

THE END

THE NIGHT DRIVER AND THE INJURED MAN

Roy Dorman

“Looks like I’m doing that damn driving thing again tonight,” sighed Robert Benson.

He glanced at the digital clock on the dash and saw it was 12:05 AM; the same time it always was when he first checked it while on “the drive.”

As usual, there was a little fog, but visibility was good. Robert saw the figure lurch from the ditch onto the road and start stumbling down the white center line toward him.

He put on his brights and slowed to about 15 m.p.h. Carefully, he veered over to straddle the left shoulder and started the practiced maneuver around the man who was now frantically waving his hands over his head.

“I suppose it could be me,” Robert said. “It’s hard to tell for sure.”

He could see the man had cut himself on the forehead and his face was covered in blood. Robert thought he probably had been in a fight or more likely a car accident.

“Stop! Please stop!” the injured man yelled as Robert slowly crept past him. He lunged at the car and left a bloody handprint on the driver’s side window.

When he was sure he was past him, Robert hit the accelerator and took off toward home.

In the morning after breakfast, he went out to the garage to check the car. As always, the handprint was gone.

***

Other than those five minutes on the foggy road that occurred once or twice a month, Robert’s life was pretty normal. He had a good job, nice house, and a new car. But he had no one to share this odd experience with. Even if he had, who would believe it?

The first time it had happened, as the driver finding himself in his car instead of in his bed, he had been too befuddled to consider stopping. That following morning, he had felt guilty about not helping the injured man but hadn’t really been sure it had actually happened.

So much was puzzling. When he was the driver, he never knew where he was coming from or going to. At 12:05 AM he was just “there.” The last thing he remembered before that was getting into bed for the night.

When he was the one walking on the road, if he indeed was also the injured man on the road, he didn’t remember the incident that had put him in the ditch. Each time, he started by struggling to get out of the ditch and then walking down the middle of the road trying to flag someone down.

He was disoriented from the accident and the cut on his forehead had bled into his eyes. This, coupled with the bright lights in the otherwise dark surroundings, made the whole situation surreal.

***

And so, another night, later in the same month, he found himself as the injured man in the ditch.

“Oh, damn, that hurts,” he said as he crawled through the weeds and made for the road. He could see a car approaching and started waving his arms to get them to stop,

The car did slow down as it always did, but rather than stop, it again started to inch its way around him.

“That could be me in there,” said the injured man, trying to look into the car. The bright lights made it so he could only make out a vague shape behind the wheel.

“Stop! Please stop!” he screamed, but the car kept moving until it was safely past and then it sped away.

The injured man staggered a few more steps and then fell face first onto the road.

***

Robert awoke in his car as he always did when he might have been the man on the road. Fortunately, he always shut off the engine. As he had done before, he had somehow driven home, made it into the garage, and had fallen asleep.

He checked the rearview mirror and saw no cut on his forehead or blood on his face. Was he the injured man or wasn’t he?

“I better get ready for work,” he sighed.

***

A month later at 12:05 AM, Robert was driving again and wondered if he changed things a little maybe he could make this whole business go away.

What if he just stopped now and made a U-turn in the road? Or what if he sped up right now instead of slowing down and made it past the spot where the stumbling man came out of the ditch?

A third option was too scary to consider — what if he stopped the car, got out, and offered to help the injured man? Would his mind be able to handle it if the injured man got into the car — and turned out to be himself? He was already half convinced he was somehow both the driver and the injured man. He didn’t like what that might do to his mental health.

But now he saw it was too late. Up ahead he saw the injured man was somehow already on the road and finding his way to the center line. Robert put on his brights but didn’t slow down. Another option had occurred to him — he could run the injured man down and kill him.

***

The man carrying a gas can walking on the side of the road toward town waved to the oncoming driver, but then stopped when saw the car was heading right at him.

He took three quick steps from the center and dove into the ditch.

Robert continued accelerating and followed him. His car abruptly stopped when it crashed head-on into a twenty-foot burr oak tree. Before the airbag could deploy, Robert’s head had smashed into the steering wheel.

***

“There’s no sign of any skid marks,” said State Trooper Lester Biggs, the first officer on the scene. “Looks like he left the road and didn’t try to stop at all; it was the tree that stopped him.”

“Well, the EMTs will be here in a few minutes,” said Trooper Janice Wilson, a seasoned veteran who had arrived just minutes after Biggs. “I told ‘em we had an injured man. Seems like he’s breathing normally; I think you’re right that we shouldn’t move him.”

“I wonder what he was doing out here,” said Biggs. “I mean he’s barefoot and in his pajamas. And there’s no smell of alcohol. I ran his plates through the DMV. The driver, the injured man, might be a Robert Benson.”

“Who’s that guy sitting over there?” said Wilson. “Was he a passenger?”

“Nah,” said Biggs. “That’s the guy who first called it in. He ran out of gas a ways back and was walking on this side of the road. He stepped out to flag this guy down and the guy veered from his lane and tried to run him over. That’s his bloody handprint on the driver side window. He cut his hand on some broken glass when he dove into the ditch and left the handprint when he checked on the driver.”

“Probably a broken bottle,” said Wilson. “When we were kids we’d get somebody old enough to buy beer to get us a six-pack. Then we’d head out into the country, drink our beer while we drove along with the radio blaring, and throw the empty bottles out the windows into the ditch.”

“I wouldn’t share that little piece of your glorious youth with the captain, Janice,” said Biggs. “You are a police officer, ya know.”

“I was just thinking,” said Wilson. “Maybe the detectives should see if there’s a personal connection between the driver and the guy who ran out of gas.”

“Could be. This shift sure does get the occasional odd one, don’t it?” said Biggs.”

“Yup,” said Wilson. “Ya just can’t make this shit up.”

THE END

CLAIRE MORGAN’S KEY TO HAPPINESS

by Roy Dorman

“Anything exciting goin’ on in your life?” asked Charlie Evans as he sipped his first drink of the day.

“Nope, not a thing right this minute” said Claire Morgan. “But we can always hope, right?”

“I suppose so. Thing is, unlike you, I don’t figure I’ve got a lot more years left for exciting stuff to happen.”

“Johnny’s sitting over there kinda quiet, isn’t he?” said Claire.

“Somethin’ weighin’ heavy on his mind, I’d say,” said Charlie. “Boy that young shouldn’t have such serious problems.”

***

An hour ago, Johnny Dawson had taken a key from Eddie Kilgore’s pocket as Eddie lay unconscious on the kitchen floor of their flat.

Then, having opened a locker in the train station with the key, he had begun reading a handwritten note: “JOHNNY, UNLESS YOU’VE FLIPPED THE TOGGLE SWITCH TO DEACTIVATE, YOU WON’T ….”

Johnny had hit the floor and covered his head with both hands, expecting to be blown to bits in the next instant.

After a few seconds had ticked by and nothing had happened, he’d gotten to his hands and knees and looked up at the expressions on the faces of the passersby. Some had looked puzzled, a few concerned, but most had been grinning.

“Nothin’ to see here, folks,” Johnny had said as he stood up and brushed himself off. “Just slipped on a wet spot on the floor is all.”

Johnny had peeked into the locker again and had retrieved the note. “…. FINISH READING THIS. BOOM!!!”

Other than the note, the only thing in the locker had been a small wooden box. It was made of some kind of dark wood, maybe mahogany, and had some intricate carvings on the lid. It had been much too small to hold fifty thousand dollars in cash and a kilo of coke, but was definitely big enough to have something explosive wired inside.

“This shit is so Eddie,” Johnny had mumbled.

Johnny hadn’t touched the box. He had closed the locker, locked it with the key, and walked away.

He had figured he should think on this a bit.

***

Johnny and Eddie had grown up together in Elk Grove, a small town in the Midwest. In the town of about twelve hundred people, there was a grocery store, three bars, two churches, a gas station, an elementary school and a high school.

Beginning sometime around the time they were eight years old, Johnny and Eddie teamed up and provided their own entertainment. Elk Grove felt the wrath of their boredom until the boys turned sixteen and were able to drive the fifty miles to Chicago on the weekends.

One weekend Johnny and Eddie just never came back to Elk Grove. The population of Elk Grove had breathed a collective sigh of relief.

***

Johnny usually did his best thinking over a craft beer in a quiet bar, but the IPA in front of him wasn’t helping him come up with anything helpful.

An hour had now passed since he had hit Eddie over the head with the butt of his gun and Johnny was wondering if maybe he had killed him.

“You’re sittin’ there drinkin’ beer wondering if maybe ya killed me, ain’t ya.”

Johnny jumped like he’d been goosed.

“Damn, don’t sneak up on me like that,” he said. “Ya could give a guy a heart attack.”

“Says the guy who snuck up on me and laid me out with a whack on the head.”

Hearing this exchange, Claire, this afternoon shift’s bartender, walked the length of the bar to the two. “What can I get you?” she said to Eddie.

Ignoring Claire, Eddie said, “So, what’s the deal, chump?”

“He’ll have an IPA,” Johnny said, smiling at Claire. “And get me another too, please.”

Claire drew the taps and set them on the bar. “Eight dollars; Happy Hour.”

“I feel happier already,” said Johnny, lifting his beer to Eddie. “How about you?”

Eddie just glared. Johnny gave Claire a ten and put the ones in change on the rail for a tip.

Eddie sat down and whispered something in Johnny’s ear. Johnny laughed and punched Eddie playfully on the shoulder.

“Ya think I was gonna skip town with all the money? Nah, I’d never do that to you.”

***

Claire Morgan, a hipster between twenty-five and thirty, liked the two to eight shift at the Rusty Nail. The owner, Rusty Burke, gave Claire a deal on the rent for the one bedroom apartment over the bar and that allowed her to take a class at the university each semester.

The Rusty Nail usually saw a couple dozen customers come and go during her shift, with there always being four or five regulars to keep her company.

For the occasional jerk who gave her a rough time, one or two of those regulars would escort the guy to the alley outback if they got the nod from Claire.

Once a customer had been taken out back, they usually never stopped by the Rusty Nail again.

Claire had had a rough childhood. She had never known her father, and her mother, a crack addict, had been killed by one of her crack buddies when Claire was ten. Too old for adoption, Claire had spent eight years in five different foster homes before she was turned loose at age eighteen.

She had a good heart, and most people who knew her would be surprised there was a dark seething she kept suppressed. Claire felt she was owed something by somebody for her shitty childhood.

***

Claire usually got a kick out of Johnny and Eddie, but sensed something was not good between them this afternoon. Her ears had perked up when she heard Johnny say something about money and she had strolled down to their end of the bar.

Though Claire liked the bartender gig okay, she was saving up for a move to the West Coast. If Johnny and Eddie had some new found wealth, she was sure she could help them part with it.

She purposely walked a few feet past them, and then, one at a time, started taking down the bottles of top shelf liquor from the ledge on the ornate back bar. She dusted the shelf and then meticulously dusted each bottle as she put it back in its place.

The conversation was very interesting. When Eddie mumbled something that sounded like fifty thousand dollars, Claire almost dropped the Drambuie.

***

“So what’s in the wooden box?” asked Johnny.

“A key,” said Eddie. “The key to another locker where the dope and money are.”

“So are we gonna take it and split, or what?”

“That was the plan until you put my lights out,” said Eddie. “Now I don’t know. What kind of partner does that kinda thing?”

“Sorry, I got restless,” said Johnny. “We said we were goin’ to LA after the job. That was two weeks ago. You just keep findin’ reasons to…..”

***

“Money, dope, and LA,” thought Claire as she put the dust rag away. “This keeps getting better and better.”

She started to think about how she might get the money from them now, talk them into taking her with them and get it from them on the way, or wait and take it from them in LA.

Claire had no doubts at all as to whether Johnny and Eddie were a match for her abilities. Many was the time she had seen her mother dupe some guy out his money so she could score some dope. Johnny was a little quicker than Eddie, but neither of those two would ever be considered the sharpest knife in the drawer.

“Did I overhear you say you guys were going to LA?” asked Claire as she set another couple of pints in front of Johnny and Eddie. “I’m planning to go to LA too.

“I’m thinking I’ll take the train; it’s cheaper. I’ll take what I need and have Rusty, my boss, ship the rest of my stuff to me once I’m settled.

“The train’s not as picky about how much you carry on like those airline TSA people are.”

“Yeah,” said Johnny. “We’re goin’ to LA. Eddie and I have seen our last Chicago winter.”

“We were thinking about driving, though,” said Eddie. “That way nobody checks your luggage at all, right?”

“Take me with you and I could give you gas money and drive some too,” said Claire. “We could drive straight through if we wanted too.”

“We’ll think about it,” said Johnny.

***

“First Iowa, and now Nebraska,” grumbled Eddie as Claire drove down the interstate on the first day. “Corn, corn, and more corn. Oh, wait; is that wheat? When are things gonna get interestin’?”

“Oh, don’t be such a whiner,” said Claire. “We’re gonna be on I-80 all the way to San Francisco. After Nebraska, we start into the mountains and it gets more scenic.”

“Then what?” said Eddie.

“Then we take the Pacific Coast Highway down to LA,” said Claire. “I’ve heard that’s a beautiful stretch. You should take a nap like our buddy, Johnny. Just chill and let me drive.”

***

Claire had waited in the car outside Union Station while Johnny and Eddie had gone in to retrieve a briefcase. She figured the case held the money and dope Johnny and Eddie had bragged about taking from a drug dealer on the North Side.

As she sat in the car waiting for them, she decided that the next time they left her alone in the car, she was gone. LA was a big place and Johnny and Eddie would never find her.

Claire had no use for the dope; stolen dope was trouble. She’d dump that after she dumped Johnny and Eddie.

***

Crossing the parking lot of a 24/7 at an I-80 exit outside of Salt Lake City, Eddie expressed his frustration with Claire.

“I liked her better as a bartender. She’s a little too lippy as far as I’m concerned. I’ll be glad when we’re rid of her.”

“Oh, come on,” said Johnny. “She’s not so bad; you just don’t like it when she tells it like it is.”

“Yeah, well if it was up to me, the next time she left the car, we’d take off without her.”

“Let’s get the sodas and snacks and get back on the road.”

***

When Claire saw Johnny and Eddie enter the store, she stopped pumping gas and got back in the car.

If she had heard what Eddie had told Johnny about ditching her, she would have thought she and Eddie had some sort of weird psychic connection.

She put the car in drive and headed toward the I-80 on-ramp.

“What can they do?” she said as she merged onto the interstate and moved the SUV up to 70 m.p.h. “This car’s probably stolen, so they can hardly call the cops and tell them I stole their stolen car with a briefcase of stolen money and stolen dope.”

Claire decided that before she reached LA she would get a rental car and move her stuff into it. She’d wipe this car for prints, leave the keys in the ignition, and let whoever came upon the car have both it and Johnny’s and Eddie’s stuff.

She laughed to herself as she pictured Johnny and Eddie washing dishes at some truck stop. The fifty grand was going to give her a nice start in LA.

***

“Well, I’ve still got the key to the briefcase in my pocket,” said Eddie.

“Ya know, somehow I don’t think somebody like Claire is going to let that slow her down, buddy,” said Johnny, putting an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey, you ready to tackle Salt Lake City?”

BAD BOYS

by Roy Dorman

Princess,

a ten-year-old Angora,

sits in the window

in the backroom

of Maggie’s Yarn Shoppe

after her lunch

of Moist Meal Hand-Flaked Salmon,

her favorite,

and watches the feral toms

go through the garbage

of the Chinese restaurant

across the alley.

Princess loves these bad boys,

and does her best

to get them to notice her,

while fantasizing

as to what it would be like

to run with that wild group.

Today,

a scruffy character

does notice her,

and with much pomp and circumstance,

brings a dead rat to a spot

just below her window,

dropping it there

for her consideration.

Princess decides

that maybe bad boys

aren’t for her after all.

She gives her suitor

a strained smile

and then leaps from the sill

to the floor to look for Maggie. . . ,

and maybe a tummy rub.

CHOICES

by Roy Dorman

From the gym floor

she singled me out

for Lady’s Choice,

a slow dance,

and I made my way down

from seven rows up

in the bleachers,

past snickering buddies,

and danced with her to Skeeter Davis’

“The End of the World,”

thinking I should tell

Father Ziegler soon

I wouldn’t be going

to the seminary in the Fall.

“Choices” was first published on 3/4/17 at One Sentence Poems (www.onesentencepoems.com).

CLAIRE’S CLOSE CALL

Roy Dorman

After relieving Johnny Dawson and Eddie Kilgore of their stolen drug money and then stranding them in Salt Lake City, Claire Morgan has established herself in the Bay Area.

***

The Dark Alley is located off Grand Avenue in Oakland. Its dive bar vibe told Claire that this might be a good fit for her. Also, it was just a few blocks from her new apartment, so transportation wouldn’t be an issue.

“You’re looking for an afternoon shift bartender,” said Claire. “That works for me. I’m taking a few morning classes at Berkeley. The BART takes me back and forth in no time so I could easily do some two-to-seven shifts and work some on the weekends.”

“I don’t know,” said Ronnie Jackson, the owner of the Dark Alley. “We get the occasional rough character in here; do you think you could handle that?”

“Women make lousy bartenders,” interrupted a scruffy guy nursing a beer. “I’d go with a guy if I was you.”

“See what I mean?” said Ronnie. “You okay with that?”

“I’m not “okay” with that kind of crap, but I can still do the job,” said Claire. “Guys like that are usually all mouth.”

“There, ya see?” said the guy. “Already insultin’ a payin’ customer and she ain’t even got the job yet.”

“Pipe down or leave,” said Ronnie. “I’m tryin’ to conduct an interview here.”

The customer got up from his barstool grumbling to himself and headed for the men’s room.

“Give me a minute, will ya?” said Claire. “I need to use the facilities.”

Claire walked past the women’s room and stepped into the men’s. Ernie Bisbee, the guy who had been spouting off at the bar, stood in front of the urinal reading the graffiti in front of him.

Claire walked up to Ernie and grabbed a handful of greasy hair on the back of his head. She smacked his face against the wall two quick times and Ernie fell to the floor moaning.

Claire washed her hands and walked out without a word.

“I can start tomorrow afternoon if that works for you,” said Claire.

“Not so fast,” said Ronnie. “I ain’t offered you the job yet.”

Just then Ernie stumbled out of the men’s room and headed for the door. There was blood smeared on his face and he spit what looked like a tooth on the floor as he walked past the bar.

“Hey,” said Ronnie. “What happened to you?”

Ernie looked at Claire but didn’t say anything; he just kept walking.

“So, do I have the job?” said Claire.

“Be here tomorrow at two. I’ll show you where everything is and you can take it from there.”

“I’ll be here,” said Claire. “Thanks for the job.”

***

Claire has been working at The Dark Alley for six months now and things have been going fine.

There was the occasional interesting customer from time to time that she enjoyed talking to.

Like Alex Gentry, for example.

“You seem like a nice person. What are you doin’ workin’ in this dive,” said Alex.

“Bartenders are trained to be “nice” to the customers,” said Claire, eyeing up Alex while rinsing a glass. “Just because I smile at you and support your attempts at humor doesn’t mean I’m a nice person when I’m on my own time.”

“Yeah, and I suppose being friendly to the customers is good for tips too,” said Alex, putting a couple of ones on the bar in front of him.

“Bartending can be fun, I like it, but what most people don’t realize is that we do have other lives after work.”

“Customers have other lives too,” said Alex. “What time do you get off? We could show each other our respective other lives.”

“I’m done at 10:00 if you want to hang around that long. I have a loft two blocks down the street; you can walk me home.”

***

Slouched over on the couch, Claire woke up first. She was holding her .38 loosely in her hand, and if she hadn’t fallen asleep it would have been pointed at Alex instead of lying in her lap. The last thing she remembered was things starting to get fuzzy. She didn’t remember taking her pistol from the coffee table drawer in front of her and must have done that on automatic pilot.

In a scruffy Salvation Army wingback chair across from her, Alex slept on; unaware of how close to death he was.

Claire looked into their drink glasses. A little residue had settled to the bottom of each glass. The residue in her glass, still half full of vodka, had a bluish tinge. The little bit of residue resting in the bottom of Alex’s glass of whiskey was some specks of white powder.

It was a good thing she had set her drink down unfinished at the first sign of feeling woozy.

She shook her head a couple of times to clear the cobwebs and then walked over and nudged Alex awake.

“What? What?” he mumbled. When he saw the barrel of the pistol a few inches from his face, he came around quickly.

“You put something in my drink,” said Claire. “If I’d drank it all, I’d probably be dead, right?”

“Hey, you put something in my drink too,” said Alex. “What’s up with that?”

“You first,” said Claire. “What’s your “other life,” Alex?”

“You really don’t want to know. Let’s just say I’m in town for a job.”

“Shit. I guess that calls for a belated pat down. Get up. Slowly.”

Claire took a Glock from Alex’s shoulder holster and a knife from a sheath on his calf.

Alex sat back down.

“So, I assume I’m not your “job”,” said Claire. “Why’d you agree to come home with me and why’d you put something in my drink?”

“I figured I could catch a few hours of sleep and be gone before you came around. Skip the hassle of a hotel. The job will be finished by 6:00 AM and I’ll be out of LA before noon. Your turn.”

“Ya mean why’d I spike your drink?” asked Claire. “It’s sort of a hobby. Once every month or so the right guy comes into the bar and things fall into place. I bring him back here, put him out, take about half his cash, and send him home when he starts to come around.”

“Don’t they ever get pissed and smack you around?” asked Alex.

“Not with Mr. Friendly here pointed at them. Nope, they head out the door and consider themselves lucky to be alive.”

“That’s some hobby,” said Alex. “You sure you’re, ya know, mentally stable?”

“Says the guy who drugged me,” responded Claire with a smirk. “Oh, and I also take a picture of them sleeping with my phone and send it to theirs. Just to let them know I’ve got something on them. One guy did stop in at the bar maybe to make trouble, but when I took out my phone he made a U-turn and headed out the door.”

“You take my picture?”

“Didn’t have time,” said Claire, still pointing her gun at Alex. “Just woke up. Didn’t get your money either. Yet.”

Alex got up from the chair, still a little wobbly, and said, “Well, no pictures and no money. I’ll take my knife and gun and be on my way. You’re in way over your head here, Claire. Let’s call it a draw.”

Claire thought about it, realized a cell phone picture wasn’t going to be a deterrent to somebody like Alex, and handed him his knife and Glock.

“See ya, Alex. Maybe we can do this again sometime.”

“Not likely,” said Alex as he went out the door. “Not bloody likely.”

***

Claire realizes Alex may be right. This “hobby” of drugging and relieving men of some of their cash before turning them out onto the street could be too dangerous.

She decides to concentrate on school and bartending. Until her imagination next stirs something else up, that is. Claire’s not content unless there is a bit of drama in her life.

THE END

THE MOVEABLE FEAST

Roy Dorman

“I could die out here.”

Edward Hollister knew he was in trouble. He had taken an overgrown path that had split off from the main path and then had taken an even more overgrown path from that split.

Edward liked hiking and knew from experience that the path less travelled sometimes led to rewarding views and interesting animal life.

The view he had right now was of two coyotes eying him warily from about twenty feet away as if deciding whether to come closer. Overhead, near the top of a tall pine tree, a hawk had landed and was also taking in the situation.

Edward had not been paying attention to his footing and had slipped from the path, falling about fifteen feet down a steep incline. While trying to slow his descent, he had done something to his ankle. He felt blood in that hiking boot and had almost passed out when he tried to move that foot.

Now he just lay on his back trying to think of a way out of this predicament.

Spotting an old cabin well off the path had been what had distracted him. He had slowed down and was trying to get a clearer picture of the cabin when he stumbled off the path.

Hindsight, he now knew he should have kept moving away from the cabin. There had been smoke coming from the chimney and it definitely didn’t smell like wood smoke. There was a strong chemical stink to it that made Edward think about the stories he’d read in the news about drug people in isolated areas making meth.

“Cooking meth,” was the last thing he had whispered to himself before falling.

The coyotes that had been twenty feet away were now only fifteen feet away.

“Shoo! Go on, get outta here!” Edward hissed at them.

The coyotes tucked their tales between their legs and retreated a few steps. The larger of the two bared its teeth and gave out with a low growl.

Edward was worried about going into shock and passing out. The thought of being unconscious with those two coyotes that close caused him to break out in a cold sweat.

He decided he had to have help right now even if it was from druggies.

“Help! Help!” he called toward the cabin. “Can anybody hear me? I need help!”

The coyotes perked up their ears and then ran off about thirty yards before turning around and looking back at Edward.

From the direction of the cabin, a big mixed-breed dog, maybe part yellow lab or golden retriever, had come barking and snarling at the coyotes. After sniffing at Edward’s broken ankle for a bit it went back to barking at the coyotes.

The dog was in pretty poor condition. Edward thought it was either feral or owned by someone who didn’t much care for it one way or the other.

“What’s all the noise, Jessie?” came a voice from above Edward. “Whatcha got, girl?”

“She’s barking at a couple of coyotes,” said Edward. “I’m Edward Hollister. I fell and need help. I think I broke my ankle.”

“Whatcha doin’ out here?” said the man from up on the path. “Snoopin’, were ya?”

“No, no; I was hiking,” said Edward. He tried to turn and look up to see who he was talking to, but the pain when he moved just a little stopped him. “Look, I’ve got some money with me and I can get more if you can get me to a doctor.”

Edward heard someone making their way down the incline. A skinny, dirty man who could have been thirty or forty knelt by him. He set a shotgun on the ground next to him, making sure it was out of Edward’s reach.

“Let’s see whatcha got in yer wallet, there,” he said, roughly moving Edward from his back onto his side.

Blackness swirled in Edward’s vision and he almost passed out. “Go ahead,” he gasped through clenched teeth. “Take it; I’ll get more for you when I’m fixed up.”

“I’ll just take most of it,” said the man, taking cash from Edward’s wallet.

“Take it all. You can have it all. Just get me to a doctor.”

“You ain’t goin’ to no doctor; you seen too much. If and when somebody finds ya, it’ll look like ya just fell from the path. Death by misadventure I think they call it.”

The man put Edward’s wallet back into his pocket. He then roughly repositioned Edward so he was lying crosswise on the ground.

Edward hadn’t noticed it before, but he had landed on a sort of ledge at the bottom of the incline. After that ledge, there was another thirty-foot incline, even steeper than the one he had tumbled down.

“Please! If you do this, it’s murder!” said Edward as he looked down into the drop.

“Givin’ a man a little push don’t seem like murder to me. Does it to you, Jessie?”

The man then put both of his hands on Edward’s back and shoved him over the ledge. Edward rolled and bounced and finally landed in a heap at the bottom of the second incline.

If anybody were to use that path, his body wouldn’t be visible from it.

Though the dog continued to bark, the coyotes cautiously started to walk toward Edward. The hawk didn’t even need to move. When the coyotes were done with their feast, it would have what they left.

“Let’s go, Jessie. I got work to do.”

THE END

CLAIRE’S DISPOSABLE DISTRACTION

Roy Dorman

After a couple of years bartending and going to school, Claire Morgan has once again become restless and this time has set her sights on some big money. She has two experienced partners to help her pull off the job, but they need one more person to complete the group.

Claire Morgan had been watching James Morris from across the bar. She decided it was time to check him out a little more closely.

“Unless killing them is part of your game plan you should probably quit sneaking peeks their way when you think they’re not looking,” she whispered. “They may recognize you in a police line-up sometime down the road.”

James was sitting in a bar after work having a beer. The Holding Cell was a “cop bar” and was just four blocks from his office. James stopped in a couple of times a week to people-watch.

James thought cops were interesting to watch in their free time and he sometimes created stories in his head as situations unfolded at the bar he referred to as a noir-lite setting. There was a general feeling of camaraderie among the patrons, but occasionally macho egos erupted into near fistfights before cooler heads could settle things down.

The two people he was watching today he had recognized as armored truck guards who sometimes picked up money from one of the many businesses in his building. They were sitting at a booth behind him and he had been watching them through the mirror on the backbar.

The woman who had whispered in his ear was unknown to him up until now, but she was soon to be a big part of his evening.

“Killing? Game Plan?” said James, turning on his bar stool to face her. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Claire was about the same age as James, late twenties, and was attractive in a midnight movie heroine kind of way. She sat down on the stool next to him and ordered a glass of Pinot Noir.

“Those two are armored truck guards,” she said. “And you’re sitting here fantasizing about how you might spend the money if you robbed their truck. Am I right?”

James stared at Claire. That was exactly what he had been doing. He had already flown to Paris with the stolen money and had rented an apartment in the redlight neighborhood of Pigalle.

“But before you start planning how to spend the money,” she continued. “You have to plan how to get the money.”

Turning away from him, she took a sip of her wine as if letting what she had just said sink in.

It was 10:30 and James considered just finishing his beer and going home. But there was nothing at home but CNN and Ken Bruen’s new Jack Taylor novel.

And James was lonely.

Before responding to Claire, he checked to see who was in the immediate vicinity. This was a cop bar after all, and he didn’t want to say anything that would get him in trouble—or arrested.

When James glanced up at the mirror again, he saw that both of the men were looking at him and smiling. “I have to go,” he said to his beer.

“To the men’s room?” asked Claire, looking at him again.

“No, I have to go home and—”

“Think he’ll do, Claire?” asked Eddie Joseph, one of the guards who had been in the mirror.

“Maybe,” said Claire. “He seems a little skittish.”

“Skittish is not always a bad thing,” said the other guard, Arnie Johnson. “Skittish people are often careful people.”

“Yeah, but sometimes they choke and can cause the whole deal to go south,” said Eddie. “I’ve been on the wrong end of that before.”

“Are you a choker, Whatever Your Name Is?” asked Claire.

James furiously tried to think of the best way to respond. “My name is James and yeah, I’m a choker.”

“Sounds like he thinks he’s at a twelve-step program meeting,” said Arnie, causing the three of them to chuckle.

James didn’t chuckle along. He was scared to death and could only offer a weak smile—a choker’s smile, he thought to himself as he stared at his reflection in the backbar’s mirror.

“Now I really do need to use the restroom,” he said, getting up from his barstool.

“We’ll wait for you back at the booth,” said Claire.

***

After peeing, James stayed in the men’s room for as long as he could. First, he sat in one of the stalls reading the graffiti. He found cop graffiti was funny but with violent undertones that didn’t do much to lighten his mood.

He stood at the sink washing his hands, but when a cop gave him the hairy eyeball for washing the entire time the cop was peeing, James thought he’d have to go out and take his lumps at the booth.

Leaving the restroom with really, really clean hands, James walked with his head down toward the booth. It was not until he was almost there that he saw the booth was empty.

He scanned the barroom for his tormenters but didn’t see any of them.

Walking up to the bar, he took a couple of dollars out of his wallet and set them on the rail near the bartender. “See ya next time,” he said as casually as he could.

“Later, man,” said the bartender, picking up the cash.

***

It was three blocks from the bar to the parking ramp where James parked his car every weekday. He walked at a good clip, almost running, and occasionally looked over his shoulder to see if he was being followed.

“They must have decided they didn’t want a choker in their group,” James said to himself.

But he was wrong about that. He was only a block from the bar when a light colored panel van pulled up alongside him.

Claire was at the wheel and Arnie and Eddie burst out of the sliding side door. Arnie clapped a rag with chloroform over James’ mouth and nose and he and Eddie dragged him into the van.

James lost consciousness as Eddie closed the door and Claire took off.

***

“I think he’s finally comin’ around.”

They were all still in the van and were in a section of town that had a lot of abandoned houses. Urban renewal hadn’t made its presence known here yet.

James shook his head to clear the cobwebs. “This isn’t about robbing an armored truck anymore, is it?” he said.

“You are so cute, James,” said Claire. “Quick on the uptake, too. No, the truck’s already been robbed; we’re going to rob the robbers.”

Eddie and Arnie just nodded.

“What time is it?” asked James. “I have to go to work tomorrow, or today, or whenever….”

“Shhh! Focus!” whispered Claire. “They should be here anytime now. Watch for them.”

James didn’t know why, but he obeyed.

The van was backed into a driveway and faced a row of darkened houses on the other side of the street. Claire and Arnie were in the front seats peering out the windshield and James and Eddie knelt on the van floor and looked over their shoulders from behind.

“There, crossing that yard,” said Eddie.

James looked in the direction Eddie was pointing and saw two people dressed in black cross a lawn and go into one of the houses. He was now leaning so far over into the front seat his face was right next to Claire’s and his hand was on her shoulder.

“Remove your hand,” said Claire. “And if you smell my hair or kiss my neck Arnie will give you another hit of chloroform and put you out until we need you.”

James lifted his hand from Claire’s shoulder as it had been burned and scooted back a foot.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I was just trying to watch like you told me to. Is this some kind of role playing thing? I told you I have to go to work. I don’t have time for games.”

“This isn’t a game, James,” said Claire. “Those two guys robbed an armored truck a few months back and after converting the small bills into big bills they stashed it in the basement of that house.”

“Small bills into big bills?” asked James.

“The money was from the racetrack,” said Arnie. “Eddie and I were driving that day and those two guys stopped us and took the money. It was mostly ones, fives, tens, and twenties. A half a million dollars in bills that small are hard to get rid of.”

“Yeah, unless ya plan to eat at Mickey D’s every day for the rest of your life you’d never be able to spend it all,” said Eddie.

James gave a little laugh, but it died in his throat when he saw the looks on the faces of the three people in the van with him. They looked very serious. Dead serious.

“So, they finally got it reduced to a size small to fit into a couple of suitcases and my guess is they’ll hire a small plane to get to someplace like one of the Virgin Islands,” said Arnie.

James hadn’t called into work sick for a long time so he guessed he could miss a day or two. It didn’t seem like he had much choice in the matter, either.

“Why do you need me?” he asked.

“You’re going to be what’s referred to as the distraction,” said Claire. “We need someone to cause those two to look the other way long enough so we can overpower them.”

James stared at Claire for ten seconds without breathing. Then, throwing his hands in the air, he said, “Hey, no problemo. Done it a hundred times… What, are you three nuts?”

“You can do this, James,” said Arnie. “We’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

***

James walked up the sidewalk to the front steps. Once up on the porch, he walked to the front door.

He knocked three times and then called, “Hello? Anybody home? I need a little help out here.”

At first there was no response and James thought he might get out of this alive. But then the old oak door swung open and a tough-looking guy was pointing a gun at him.

“Whatta ya want, punk?” he said. “Get off my porch; this is a private residence.”

“That’s my van across the street there,” said James pointing at the van. “Do you have any jumper cables?”

“Who is it, Johnny?” said a second guy who was also holding a pistol.

“Just some dope who wants us to give his van a jump,” said Johnny DuFreese.

“Go on, get outta here,” said the second guy, one Al Jeffers. “We don’t have time for stuff like that.

Claire, Arnie, and Eddie had let themselves in by way of the back door. James now saw them behind the two robbers.

“Don’t move,” said Arnie. “Drop your guns.”

James fell to the porch floor as he had been told to do. Still holding his gun, Johnny made as if to turn around and Eddie clipped him on the back of the head.

Johnny fell to his knees and Al quickly dropped his gun. “Okay, okay,” he said raising his hands above his head. “What’s the deal here?”

***

The walls of the basement were a mixture of stone and rough cement and the floor was hard-packed dirt. There was what looked to be an old coal bin in one corner and that’s where the two suitcases of money had been concealed behind some old plywood.

“What’d I say about suitcases of money?” said Arnie. “Am I psychic or what?”

Arnie and Eddie led Johnny and Al over to the coal bin.

“This looks like a good place to stash them,” said Eddie.

They tied both of them hand and foot and put the plywood over them.

“Hey, you can’t leave us down here; we’ll die,” said Johnny.

Don’t worry,” said Claire. “There’s a knife upstairs on the kitchen table. It may take you a while to get up the stairs to get to it but I’m sure you guys can handle it.”

“That should give us enough time to get gone. Make sure you don’t come looking for us. You should chalk this up as a loss, right? Coming after us will just get you killed.”

***

“I don’t get it, Claire,” said James when they were back in the van. “You three could have done this without me. You could have been the distraction and Arnie and Eddie could have done just what they did.”

Claire opened one of the suitcases and took out a thick stack of hundred-dollar bills.

“Here’s something for your trouble,” she said, handing the bills to James. “We did need you. If I was the distraction and one of those guys shot first and asked questions later, I could have been killed.

“This was our gig; we couldn’t risk that happening. We needed a disposable distraction. That was you.”

James took the bills and stared at them.

“Disposable?”

“Yup,” said Arnie, smiling at James. “But you did good.”

James looked at the three and smiled. He didn’t think it looked like a choker’s smile.

“I’m usually at The Holding Cell a couple nights a week,” he said. “If you or someone you know ever need an experienced distraction, I’m up for it.”

THE END

BLACK FEDORAS, FISHNET STOCKINGS, AND AN OLD MASTER

By Roy Dorman

“It’s the same guy,” Emily Russo said to herself as she saw a man approaching her on the otherwise deserted street.

Emily was a courier who handled high risk packages. Most often, she had no idea what was in the packages she picked up from her supervisor and delivered to the clients.

Though she couldn’t see his face because the brim of his black fedora was pulled low, she knew it was him. She had only seen men wearing that kind of hat in old movies. In addition to the hat, he wore a long trench coat, completing the other-era ensemble.

She’d gotten out of the cab a few blocks early to stop at a greasy spoon near her employer-provided brownstone.

Emily now pulled the briefcase that was handcuffed to her wrist to her chest and took her Glock from its holster. “Let him try,” she whispered.

He was now only a half-block away and still walking toward her. When she switched to the left side of the sidewalk, he did too, keeping them on a collision course.

Now three feet from her, he stopped and lunged at her with a knife. From out of nowhere, a woman dressed like a streetwalker, complete with red fishnet stockings and very heavy make-up, stepped between them and took the knife thrust in her abdomen.

“Keep going,” she said. “We’ve got this.”

Another woman dressed in the same garb had grabbed the man with the fedora from behind in a chokehold and now pulled him away from the first woman.

“I could have handled him,” said Emily, showing the second woman her pistol.

“Go!” the woman yelled.

Emily then left the scene, again heading to her apartment.

After throwing the deadbolt, she went to the window to look down to where the altercation had taken place. No one was there. She was hardly surprised.

She unlocked the handcuff from her wrist and put the briefcase under the bed. She then lay down fully clothed with her Glock in hand.

Tomorrow would be an interesting day.

***

In the morning she decided to have breakfast and coffee in, avoiding any unnecessary stops.

After breakfast, she put the pistol in its shoulder holster under her sport coat. She decided she wasn’t going to let anyone get as close to her today as the guy in the hat and those two women had last night.

“The sooner I can get rid of this damn case, the better,” she said as she snapped the handcuff to her wrist. “There’s something in it somebody other than the client is very interested in.”

After some back and forth with herself, she decided to call her supervisor and fill her in as to what had occurred last night.

“Hi, Andrea; just checkin’ in.”

There was an intake of breath followed by a moment of silence. “Emily? You’re alive?”

“Yeah, I’m alive. Somethin’ wrong with that?”

“It’s just that I expected that last night — ”

“So you know about last night. What was that all about? Did you send somebody to kill me?”

“Oh, no, no,” said Andrea. “There are some things I can tell you, but I think we should talk about them after you deliver the package; not over the phone.”

“No, we are going to talk about this over the phone,” said Emily. “You’re going to talk or I’m going to throw the case in the Hudson and disappear.”

“Okay, okay. Give me a minute. You know you’re the best, right? We’d really hate to lose you, but in this business if the customer has the cash, the customer is always right.”

“Cut to the chase, Andrea, or I’m outta here,” said Emily.

Emily listened while Andrea told her about the contents of the briefcase. It contained a small but very valuable old painting. It was done by one of the Old Masters, and the client, a famous mystery writer, had won it in an auction in Brussels.

“I’m sure you’d recognize his name,” said Andrea.

Andrea went on to say that the client got it in his head that he wanted his painting to have a history like in some of the novels he wrote. Andrea had set up a sequence of the package going from Brussels to New York by way of a number of couriers.

“Any of those other couriers still alive?” asked Emily.

“That’s why we love you, Emily—you’re always so quick.”

“How many are dead?” asked Emily.

Andrea stalled for a bit, knowing no matter what she said Emily was probably through with the company. “Two,” she finally said quietly. “There were two.”

“And those three in the weird get-ups last night?” said Emily. “They were willing participants in this author’s fantasy? Unless that knife was a stage prop, one or two of them might be dead. Must be a helluva lot of money involved here.”

“There is a lot of money involved, Emily,” said Andrea. “And we can see that a lot of it can still be yours.”

“Yeah, right,” said Emily. “Ya know, I rub elbows with a lot of different folks on my courier runs. A couple of times contract killers have offered to introduce me to their bosses. Right now I’m thinkin’ of two people I could take out to have something on my résumé for the interview.”

Emily had been sitting on the couch facing the door while talking to Andrea. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the movement of the doorknob being turned.

Andrea had been keeping her on the phone, buying time.

Emily set the phone on the couch and trained her silencer-equipped Glock on the center of the door.

When the door was kicked in, Emily squeezed off four quick shots into the first guy to enter and three more into his partner. It took a few seconds for the apartment to go to silence. Emily waited to see if she could hear a third party out in the hall.

When no one else stepped through the door, she picked up the phone.

“Still alive, Andrea. And I’m comin’ for ya. Ya may wanna tell that sicko author I’m comin’ for him too.”

Emily ended the call and looked down at the two assassins. Both were in trench coats and had been wearing black fedoras. The first one looked like the knife-wieldier from last night. The legs of the second showed red fishnet stockings under the trench coat and she may have been one of the women who played a role in last night’s one-act play.

“The script called for me to get away last night,” Emily thought. “But not this morning.”

Emily took a minute to collect her personal stuff. She’d only been there overnight, so a quick wipe for prints was all that was needed. She then went out into the hallway with the briefcase. No need to try and lock the door; it was pretty messed up.

On the way down the stairs, Emily was thinking ahead to her new apartment, possibly in London or Rome, and how she’d have an Old Master on the living room wall.

“And it’ll be an Old Master with a history.”

THE END

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

By Roy Dorman

“I need to pee. Take the next exit that has a gas station with a fast food place or one of those quick markets attached to it.”

Jesse Franklin and Annie Garner had been driving on the interstate for about an hour since having a continental breakfast at the chain hotel they had stayed at the night before.

This was the first either of them had spoken since leaving the hotel.

Their relationship hadn’t been going well recently.

***

They didn’t need gas yet, so Jesse parked up in front of the Mini Market. Annie got out of the car without a word and Jesse pulled out the paperback he’d brought along for just such occasions.

He’d gotten into the book, it was a “whodunit” by one of his favorite authors, and was surprised when he saw fifteen minutes had passed.

“Now what?” he muttered, slamming the book on the dash and getting out of the car. He walked into the store and stood in front of the clerk.

“Is my wife in here?” he asked, knowing as he said it that it was an unusual question. “She’s short, dark hair, in a denim dress. She came in to use the restroom.”

The clerk stared at Jesse for a bit before answering as though this was a very weighty question to consider.

“I saw her come in, but didn’t see her leave,” said the clerk. He had “RANDY” on an oval patch that was sewn onto his tan smock. “Maybe she already left, but I didn’t see her go,” he repeated.

Jesse noticed the restrooms were in the back corner. “She would have had to walk right past you,” he said. “Surely you would have seen her.”

“I got customers to take care of,” said Randy.

Jesse looked out at the parking lot. His was the only car out there. The only customer in the place was a scruffy-looking twenty-something paging through one of those cheap sensational tabloids.

“Customers? He’s the only one in here,” said Jesse, getting more irritated than he already had been. “He doesn’t look like he needs much taking care of.”

Randy leaned over the counter and said in a stage whisper, “I gotta watch him so he don’t steal nothin’.”

Jesse noticed beads of sweat had formed on Randy’s forehead. He thought that odd as it wasn’t all that warm in the Mini Market.

The young guy looked up from his reading as if he sensed he was being talked about. He put the tabloid back in the rack and sauntered over to the counter.

“A woman came in, used the restroom, bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and left five minutes ago,” he said to Jesse.

“That’s ridiculous,” snorted Jesse. “My wife doesn’t smoke.”

“Didn’t say it was your wife. Don’t know who she was. But it was a woman like you described when you came in.

“After buying the cigs and lighter, she stepped outside, opened the pack and lit one up. She stared at that car outside the window there for a while and then walked over to the truck stop across the road. I saw her flag down an eighteen-wheeler that was just heading out.”

After that recitation, he held out his hand to Jesse. “I’m Ace,” he said, “You are?”

Jesse just stared at Ace’s hand until Ace let it drop. Before Ace had dropped it, Jesse had noticed two fresh scratches on the back of his hand.

Jesse noticed little things. In the business he was in, noticing the little things kept him alive.

He then turned back to the clerk, Randy, and said, “Why didn’t you tell me she bought cigarettes and a lighter after using the restroom?”

Randy stepped back from the counter and put his hands in front of his chest in a warding off gesture.

“I just work here, mister,” Randy sputtered. “I don’t get involved in customers’ business.”

Jesse felt like punching Randy in the face. Randy must have seen it in his eyes, because he took another step back.

Jesse looked to the back of the store at the restrooms. Moving quickly from the counter, he walked back toward the women’s.

“You can’t go into the women’s,” squeaked Randy. “You better just leave or I’m gonna call the cops.”

“If she’s not in here, I’m calling 911 myself,” said Jesse, reaching for the doorknob.

He opened the door and stared at the toilet.

My wife was in this room a few minutes ago and now she’s…, missing.

“Is there another way out of this place?” he yelled from inside the restroom.

“The storeroom has a back door for deliveries, but it’s locked and you can’t go in there.”

Jesse walked back to the counter. Ace was no longer there and Randy had a cell phone in his hand.

Jesse took out his own. “Do you want to call or should I?” he asked.

“Okay, okay; you can check out the storeroom,” said Randy, fumbling in a drawer for the keys.

Randy walked back to a door that was a little to the left of the restrooms. He unlocked the door and gestured for Jesse to go in.

Jesse scanned the small room and was about to go back out when he spotted a shoe sticking out from between two stacks of boxes. The foot inside that shoe moved back and forth as if trying to get his attention. It looked like Annie’s shoe.

As he stared at the shoe, he heard an intake of breath behind him. In two quick movements he dropped to the floor and kicked back with both feet, catching Ace in the knees.

Ace had been winding up to swing a baseball bat at Jesse’s head, and now he and the bat were on the floor. Jesse pulled out a small caliber pistol from an ankle holster and aimed it at Randy.

“Get your ass in here now!” he shouted.

Randy hurried in with both hands in the air. “It was all his idea,” he pleaded. “He said we could sell her to a trucker and—”

“Shut your mouth, Randy,” said Ace from the floor.

Jesse kicked Ace twice in the ribs. “You shut your mouth, loser,” he said. “Now, both of you lie on your stomachs and put your hands behind your back.”

“Whatta ya gonna do to us?” whined Randy.

“I think I’ll let my wife decide on that,” said Jesse, walking back to where he had seen Annie’s shoe.

He walked over to where Annie was tied and gagged. He loosened her restraints and said, “You okay, babe?”

“Ya, just peachy keen,” Annie answered, rubbing her wrists to get the feeling back into them. “Gimme your pistol.”

“I’m gonna go check on security cameras inside and out,” said Jesse. “You think about what we should do with these two.”

Jesse had only gotten to the front door when he heard four shots. He continued his search for security cameras before going back to the storeroom. He was happy to see that management had chosen not to spend the money on them.

“Didn’t take you long to decide on what to with them,” said Jesse, looking at the bodies on the floor of the storeroom.

“They were going to sell me, for chrissakes! Who knows what awful shit could have happened to me before I finally freed myself?”

“I would have freed you before anything happened to you, Annie,” said Jesse.

“Yeah, I know you would have,” Annie said, punching Jesse playfully on the shoulder. “What say we get the fuck outta here and go someplace fun where we can start fresh?”

“We still have that job to do in New Orleans,” said Jesse. “Maybe we can make the hit and then kick back there for a while.”

“Sounds good,” said Annie. “I like that open-air market in the French Quarter that has the powdered sugar beignets.”

“I’ll lick the powdered sugar off your lips.”

“Damn, a couple dead bodies on a storeroom floor sure gets your motor runnin’,” said Annie. “Come on, let’s hit the road.”

THE END

DEAD BODIES EVERYWHERE

Roy Dorman

The insistent knocking on the door continued.

Or had it stopped and then started again?

“Just a minute,” Billy Fitzpatrick mumbled. His head hurt and the dried blood in his eyes made seeing difficult. He rolled a body off him, somebody who was either unconscious or dead, and struggled to a shaky standing position.

He opened the door a crack to see his neighbor from across the hall, Candy something or other, standing there looking expectant and a little worried.

She was wearing a red Santa’s elf hat that complimented her pained expression.

“There’s blood on your face,” she said.

“Yeah, so what?” said Billy. “Go away; I’m busy.”

“I bet you are,” said Candy. “I could help.”

An hour ago, Billy had come in from Happy Hour at The Thirsty Troll and had been ambushed by someone who’d accessed his room.

He was only in town for a week or two, and rented a place at a small rooming house off Kedzie in a residential neighborhood near Irving Park.

Billy was in The Windy City for a job.

The intruder had been behind his door and Billy somewhat dodged the first blow, taking it on the shoulder. He managed to draw his .38 and get off two wild shots just as the second blow came down onto his forehead.

He’d awakened to the knocking on his door and what he now knew was a dead man lying across his legs.

“I don’t think you can help me with what I gotta do,” said Billy.

“Ya got a dead body in there, don’tcha,” said Candy. “I can help ya with that. I already did help ya some, ya know.”

“Oh, yeah? And just how did ya already help me?” Billy still hadn’t opened the door any further than a couple of inches. He sensed his neighbor was the nosy type and possibly a little bit off.

“The landlord heard the shots and came upstairs to your door. He knocked, but you didn’t answer. I’d heard the shots too. I came out and told him I’d used a hard cover book to try and kill a spider that was runnin’ across my floor. I don’t think he bought it, but he left.”

“Why’d you do that?” asked Billy. “You don’t even know me.”

“Then that nosy old Mrs. Evans poked her head out of her door and asked if somebody had been killed.”

“Ya tell her the spider story?” asked Billy, opening the door a little further.

“No, I just told her to mind her own beeswax,” said Candy with a smirk.

“Why do ya think ya could help me with a dead body? Assuming there is a dead body, that is. Maybe I was just killin’ spiders with a mystery novel.”

“I’m good with dead things,” said Candy. “I’m tryin’ to learn how to bring the dead back to life.”

What a whacko, thought Billy. And she knew too much. He toyed with the idea of dragging her in, killing her, and dumping both bodies off the fire escape.

“….. and I’ve worked on a rat and a bunch of mice …,”

Billy really needed to sit down, have some coffee, and do something with the stiff on the floor behind him.

Though Candy’s monologue was starting to wear on him, he was curious.

“So, you’ve brought these animals back to life?”

“Nah. I think they’d been dead for too long. But that body in there has only been dead for about an hour. I’ll give ya a hundred bucks for it; I’d like to see what I could do with a fresher body.”

***

According to the ID in his wallet, the deceased was one Arnie Weston from Trenton, New Jersey. After wrapping the body in a sheet, he and Candy carried it across the hall to Candy’s room.

“You can have the body,” said Billy. “No charge for the first one. Call it a Christmas present.”

“Thanks, yer a peach,” Candy grunted, struggling with her end of the bundle.

“Smells kinda funky in here,” said Billy.

“Yeah, I use air freshener, but the smell of death’s hard to get rid of. Actually, I’ve gotten so I kinda like it.”

Billy raised his eyebrows at that. “Well, I gotta get back and tidy up my place. The landlord or that old biddy from down the hall might have decided to call the cops. I’ve gotta make things presentable in case they stop by.”

“How ‘bout we have dinner tomorrow night?” asked Candy.

Billy wrinkled up his nose as he looked past her into the little kitchen. He didn’t think he’d be able to eat anything in here with that awful smell and the new dead body now lying on a surgical table in the middle of the room.

Candy read his thoughts. “Oh, we can go out to eat. I’ll buy since you were nice enough to provide me with a body to mess around with.”

“I’m gonna clean up and get some sleep,” said Billy. “I’ll stop over about 8:00 tomorrow night.”

“Cool, it’s a date,” gushed Candy.

“Candy, it is definitely not a date, okay? We’re just having dinner.”

“Okay, but that sounds an awfully lot like a date to me,” said Candy with a playful smile.

“Women,” mumbled Billy as he went out the door.

***

Billy slept until noon. There’d been no visit from the police and he was happy for that. Of course, whoever sent Arnie Weston to kill him would probably send someone looking for his boy before too long.

He should probably do some research on his hit and get the job he was getting paid for done as soon as possible.

***

At 8:00 Billy opened his door to go over to Candy’s. He still wasn’t sure about whether she was a witness he could afford to leave behind. He stopped when he saw a big guy in a nicely tailored suit talking to her through the opening allowed by her door’s security chain.

Billy couldn’t hear what the guy was saying. All of a sudden, the door was pushed open, tearing the cheap chain lock from the door jam.

Candy gave a shriek as her questioner barged in and closed the door after him.

Billy walked up to the door and listened.

“I want ya to go over there and, ya know, distract him for me,” said a male voice.

“Fuck you,” came Candy’s voice. “I ain’t doin’ nothin’ for you.”

Billy pulled his .38 from his shoulder holster and quietly opened the door.

The thug’s back was to him and Billy saw that he had a sap in his hand, threatening Candy.

Candy saw Billy enter the room, but the expression on her face didn’t change one bit. Billy was impressed with her ability to stay cool.

But then her eyes widened and she yelled, “Behind you!”

“What the —” started Billy. Somebody used something hard on the back of his head and down he went. As he was losing consciousness, he heard the “Pffft!, Pffft!, Pffft!” of a silencer and figured chances were he wasn’t going to wake up from this one.

***

Someone was gently slapping his face.

Improbable, but true, for the second time in twenty-four hours there was what felt like a body lying on his legs.

“Wake up, Billy, we got stuff to do.”

“Who’s that? What happened?” Billy asked without opening his eyes. “Am I dead?”

“No, silly,” said Candy. “Yer not dead and I’m not dead, but everybody else in here is.”

“Get this stiff off me, will ya?” groaned Billy, trying to sit up. “Hey, did I hear gunshots before my lights went out?”

Candy rolled the body of the second wiseguy off Billy. “That was me,” said Candy. “You should really invest in a silencer. It cuts down on visits from the landlord when ya have to off somebody.”

“And you ‘off somebody’ on a regular basis?”

“Nah, these are my first two. But they say you’ll always remember your first, right?” Candy said, waving the pistol at Billy. “This used to belong to my old man. He left it behind when he had to leave in the middle of the night a couple of years back —”

“Stop, already,” said Billy. “We gotta get outta here. Whoever sent these guys will be sending more. That’s how it works.”

“We?” asked Candy. “Are we a ‘we’ now? We didn’t even have our date and now yer askin’ me to run away with you?”

“Focus, Candy,” said Billy. “My place is cleaned up. You clean everything up in here except for the bodies. I’m goin’ down to The Thirsty Troll and rent some muscle to help get rid of ‘em. Then we’re gettin’ the hell outta Dodge.”

“Aye, aye, my Captain,” said Candy, giving Billy a jaunty salute.

Billy sighed and walked out.

***

Walking to the bar, Billy did some thinking. Maybe instead of going to The Thirsty Troll he should just go to O’Hare and catch a flight to San Francisco.

But he still had to make his hit. He had a reputation to maintain; he couldn’t leave a job unfinished.

He shook his head to clear it. What had he been thinking? Had he really thought he was going to take Candy with him? Where in the hell had that idea come from? Maybe he’d had too many hits to the head recently.

She must have somehow bewitched him in his weakened state.

He’d clean up the mess, finish the job, and fly out of Chicago. He’d let himself get distracted by Candy, but now he was back on track again.

“So you’ll get two thousand bucks for the two of ya to split,” said Billy to the hired help from The Thirsty Troll. “There’s four bodies, all in one room, and they go to the landfill. You said you’ve done this before and there better not be any slip-ups. I don’t expect those bodies to ever be found. Got it?”

The three took a cab to borrow a truck from a friend of one of the two and then headed back to Billy’s place.

***

Billy led Frank and Lester down the hall to Candy’s door. He took his .38 from its holster. He still had Candy to deal with. He’d use her pistol. She was right about the silencer; there’d already been enough loud gunshots in the building.

“I thought ya said there was four bodies,” said Frank. “I only see three.”

“There’s a woman I gotta take care of; she’s the fourth,” said Billy. “Maybe she went out for a minute.”

“Right behind you, Billy,” said Candy, stepping into the living room from the kitchen. “Merry Christmas.” Before he could get a shot off at her, she shot him in the forehead and he dropped to the floor.

Frank and Lester put their hands in the air.

“Okay, now we’ve got our four bodies,” said Candy. “And guys, there’s been a change in management.”

Candy had already removed the wallets of the three dead guys she’d been left with, and now she took Billy’s. She had plenty of cash.

“What was Billy gonna give ya?’ asked Candy.

“He said two thousand bucks,” said Lester.

“Yer probably lyin’, but I’ll give ya twenty-five hundred. Christmas bonus. What’d he say to do with ‘em?”

“We got a truck outside and the bodies are goin’ to the landfill,” said Lester.

“Sounds good,” said Candy. “Okay, get on with it. No screw-ups or I’ll come lookin’ for ya. Do ya believe that?”

Lester and Frank looked at the four bodies, back at Candy, and then started getting things done.

They believed it.

THE END

THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB

Roy Dorman

“You don’t look like what I thought a contract killer would look like.”

Jimmy Hudson pulled his Glock from his shoulder holster and put the tip of the barrel up against Cassie Morgan’s forehead, just above the bridge of her nose.

“How about now?” he asked.

“Oh, I can see it now,” said Cassie. “Yup, you do look more like a contract killer now.”

Jimmy and Cassie met in a little greasy spoon in a part of the Bronx she hadn’t been in before. Cassie had made contact with Jimmy through a “friend” who did maintenance work at her condo.

“He’s very good and very discreet,” Bobby Rogers told her one morning while he was gathering towels from the vacant machines in her condo’s exercise room.

“He costs a lot, but he’s worth every penny. Like me.”

Cassie and Bobby had been having sex upstairs in Cassie’s unit during Bobby’s lunch hour once a week for about three months.

Cassie was tired of her loveless marriage and wanted to get rid of her verbally abusive husband, Les. Cassie and Les were filthy rich, they both had their own successful careers, and she was ready to go it alone. Alone with all the financial rewards a grieving widow would be entitled to, that is.

Bobby also had visions of starting a new life. With Cassie.

But that wasn’t going to happen. Cassie already decided she would try to talk Jimmy into a “twofer,” killing both Les and Bobby, thereby leaving no loose ends.

“I don’t do twofers,” Jimmy said. “If ya want Bobby dead too, it’ll cost ya a little more.”

The waitress arrived at their booth with coffee.

“No guns allowed in here, Jimmy,” she whispered.

Jimmy just stared at her.

“Maybe next time leave it in the car, okay?” she whispered again, raising an eyebrow.

Jimmy continued the stare for a bit and then nodded.

“You a regular here?” asked Cassie.

“None of yer business,” said Jimmy. “Ya got the cash?”

Cassie reached into her oversized handbag and took out a thick stack of hundreds secured with a rubber band.

Jimmy quickly scanned the diner. “Pass it under the table,” he said.

Cassie sat there with the bundle in her hand. She was having second thoughts.

I should have probably just done this myself. I trust this guy because Bobby says he’s okay? If he takes the money and stiffs me, what do I do? Call the cops?

Jimmy had seen this movie before.

“We’re way past second guessin’,” he said. “Just gimme the damn money.”

“And you’ll do everything like you said you would?”

“Ya get what ya pay for,” Jimmy said cryptically.

Cassie passed the money to Jimmy. He drank his coffee down and got up to leave. “We won’t be talkin’ again, got it?”

Cassie nodded and forced a smile. She didn’t feel good about this at all.

Their waitress walked over after Jimmy left and refilled Cassie’s cup.

“I’m Molly,” she said, extending the hand that wasn’t holding the coffee pot.

Cassie shook with her and sighed. “Cassie. I’m Cassie.”

“Ya look like ya need a friend,” said Molly. “Why ya hanging around that dirtball, Jimmy? He’s bad news.”

“He’s, ah …, he’s going to do some work for me,” said Cassie.

“Yeah, I saw ya passin’ him the cash. Ya don’t ever wanna pay somebody like Jimmy in advance. You’ll probably never see him again.”

“He came highly recommended,” said Cassie. “And I hope I never do see him again.”

“Let me guess,” mused Molly. “He was probably recommended by his partner in crime, Bobby. Those two are always runnin’ some kinda hustle out of the diner here. One of these days they’ll mess with the wrong client and wind up dead.”

“Can you sit down a minute?” asked Cassie.

“Hey, Andrea,” Molly yelled. “Keep my customers happy for a few minutes, will ya?”

Molly sat down in the booth across from Cassie. “It’s probably too late, but I’ll help ya if I can.”

Cassie debated as to what she could possibly gain by talking to this waitress. She was pretty sure she’d already made one mistake and didn’t want to make another.

“You’re not partners with Jimmy and Bobby, are you?” she asked. “I don’t want—”

“Oh, hell, no,” said Molly. “Give me some credit.”

Cassie proceeded to tell Molly the whole story, leaving nothing out. Molly nodded or grimaced in all the right places.

“If yer lucky, Jimmy will just take yer cash and you’ll never see him again.”

“And if I’m not lucky?” asked Cassie.

“Then he and Bobby might use ya to get even more money out of yer husband. They’re not real bright, but they do know how to run a scam.”

“What should I do?”

“If I know those two, and I do, they’ll probably try to shake down yer husband right away,” said Molly. “Maybe even tonight.”

“How did I get into this mess?” moaned Cassie.

“It’s how yer going to get out of it that’s important now,” said Molly. “What time does yer husband usually get home?”

“Around 7:30 or so.”

“Don’t go home tonight. You and I are going to check out the situation before ya confront him.”

“Confront him?”

“Yeah,” said Molly. “He hired Jimmy to kill ya, didn’t he?”

Molly opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

***

Cassie and Molly were staked out in Molly’s old Datsun across the street from Cassie’s high-rise condo. Les Morgan pulled up at 7:35 and drove into the underground parking garage.

“What now?” asked Cassie.

“We wait,” said Molly. “If he calls yer cell, don’t answer.”

Twenty minutes later, an old beater drove up and parked ten yards ahead of them.

“Get down,” said Molly. “It’s them.”

“Who?”

“Frick and Frack. Let’s let ‘em get inside.”

“Have you done this sort of thing before?” asked Cassie.

“None of yer business,” said Molly.

Wow, that has a familiar ring to it.

“Okay, we can go in now,” said Molly, getting out of the car. “To begin with, I’ll do all the talkin’. If I need ya to say something, I’ll nod yer way.”

“What do I say?” asked Cassie.

“How do I know?” said Molly. “Just wing it. I’ll have set the stage by confrontin’ yer husband and those two losers. If necessary, ya can chime in.”

***

“Molly! What the hell are you doin’ here?” asked Jimmy.

“Funny,” said Molly. “I was just gonna ask you that. And you, Bobby, ya here sharing bedroom stories with Les?”

Jimmy and Bobby were sitting next to each other on a long couch. The hit money Cassie had given Jimmy was on the coffee table in front of them.

“Looks like you were right, Cassie,” said Molly, pointing at the money. “Yer lovin’ husband is hiring these two bozos to kill you.”

“Cassie!” said Les. “What the hell have you gotten us into? Have you totally lost your —”

Les didn’t get a chance to finish that thought. Molly pulled a silencer- equipped Sig Sauer out from under her coat and shot him once in the forehead.

Cassie screamed and Jimmy and Bobby both put their hands in the air.

“I guess this must be for me,” said Molly, picking up the money from the table and stuffing it into a coat pocket.

“And yer done doin’ things ya have no expertise in,” she said, and shot Jimmy in the face.

“And you,” she said, pointing her pistol at Bobby. “I guess since he’s done, yer done too.”

Cassie walked woodenly to an overstuffed chair and fell into it. She figured she was next, but shock kept her from raising any kind of defense.

Molly walked to the front door. She opened it and waved her arms over head. A minute later, two men stepped into the living room.

“I know I told you guys I’d have a body for ya to dispose of,” said Molly to one of the men. “But I got a little carried away here and there’s three of ‘em. You’ll get paid extra.”

“Make sure there is absolutely no trace of any of us being here. No blood stains anywhere. Cassie and I are going somewhere to have a few drinks and come up with a story as to how her husband could have gone missing. Call me when yer completely finished, okay?”

The two men nodded and put on rubber gloves. Cassie had no doubt they’d done this before. She now knew Molly wouldn’t be associated with anyone but the best.

Molly and Cassie went out the front door and walked slowly to Molly’s car.

“So, the next time I want to kill somebody, I should ask a waitress at a diner for help?” Cassie asked.

This caused her to start laughing hysterically and Molly finally slapped her.

“Not just any waitress,” Molly said. “Me!”

THE END

Roy Dorman is retired from the University of Wisconsin-Madison Benefits Office and has been a voracious reader for over 65 years. At the prompting of an old high school friend, himself a retired English teacher, Roy is now a voracious writer. He has had flash fiction and poetry published in Black Petals, Bewildering Stories, One Sentence Poems, Yellow Mama, Drunk Monkeys, Literally Stories, Dark Dossier, The Rye Whiskey Review, Near To The Knuckle, Theme of Absence, Shotgun Honey, and a number of other online and print journals. Unweaving a Tangled Web, recently published by Hekate Publishing, is his first novel.

THE STANTON HARBOR GROCERY MASSACRE

by Roy Dorman

“I’m cheap, but I ain’t free.”

“Don’t mind him,” said Eloise Stanton, the owner of the Stanton Harbor Grocery. “He don’t mean nothin’ by what he says. He ain’t quite right.”

Charlie Johnson stared at the old man, waiting to hear what he would say next.

Eloise interpreted Charlie’s look and said, “He might not say anything more for the rest of the day, if that’s what yer waitin’ on.”

She had bagged Charlie’s purchase and had her hand out waiting for payment.

“That’ll be $18.89,” she said. “As the sign says, we take cash only.”

Charlie put a twenty in her hand. “Keep the change.”

“Well, thanks, big spender,” said Eloise.

Charlie had turned to leave, but now he stopped and looked back at Eloise. Pale blue eyes stared as if daring her to say another word.

“Hey, I was just kiddin’ with ya,” she said. “I appreciate the tip, I really do.”

“He’s cheap and . . . , and he ain’t free,” the old man broke in again in his sing-song voice. The words he was saying were put together and spoken like a refrain from an old blues song.

“What did you just say?” asked Charlie, turning toward him.

The old man looked down at his scuffed work shoes and fell silent again.

Eloise opened the drawer below the cash register and took out an old .38 special.

She’d only had three robberies, all attempted robberies as they turned out, in her forty-two years behind the counter. All three ended with the would-be robber dead on the floor. And if they hadn’t had a gun when they’d come into the grocery, they all had guns in their dead hands by the time the local sheriff arrived. Eloise had seen to that little detail herself.

Charlie Johnson had also done his share of killing. It was his chosen profession. He’d killed men and women who deserved killing, and men and women who had just gotten in the way of other men or women who had no use for them.

“I asked you a question,” said Charlie. “You callin’ me cheap?”

“Arnie don’t even know you,” said Eloise, now holding the pistol at her side. “I already told you he wasn’t quite right.” She tried to give this ornery customer a reason to back down and continue to his car.

“I’m not always true, but I’m never false,” said Arnie, still looking at his shoes.

Eloise sighed.

Charlie set his bag of groceries on the floor and pulled a Glock 17 from his shoulder holster.

“You have no clue who yer messin’ with, you crazy fuck,” he said, pointing the Glock at Arnie’s head.

“If you do anything but drop that pistol onto the floor, I will shoot you,” said Eloise in what she hoped was a convincing tone.

Charlie whirled to point his Glock at Eloise. But as he reached the end of his spin, Eloise shot him in the chest twice.

Though her aim was true, Charlie got off a wild shot that found its way into and out the back of Eloise’s skull by way of her right eye.

The echo from the three shots hung in the air with the smell of gunpowder. The coppery smell of blood quickly joined that gunpowder smell in the tight confines of the little grocery.

Arnie had clapped his hands over his ears at the sound of the shots. He now lowered his hands to his hips and looked at the two bodies on the floor of the store he had visited daily for most of his life.

Walking trance-like toward the cash register, he stopped about equidistant between Eloise and Charlie.

Arnie understood that his wife and the man who killed her were dead.

He raised his eyes to the ceiling and wailed, “You’re dead and I’m alive. I’m alive, but I’m dead.”

And then, looking down at his shoes, said, “I’m not a killer . . . , but I’ve killed.”

Arnie may not have been “quite right,” but he knew who’d really killed those two people.

In Association with Fossil Publications