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Adhikari, Sudeep |
Ahern, Edward |
Aldrich, Janet M. |
Allan, T. N. |
Allen, M. G. |
Ammonds, Phillip J. |
Anderson, Peter |
Andreopoulos, Elliott |
Arab, Bint |
Armstrong, Dini |
Augustyn, P. K. |
Aymar, E. A. |
Babbs, James |
Baber, Bill |
Bagwell, Dennis |
Bailey, Ashley |
Bailey, Thomas |
Baird, Meg |
Bakala, Brendan |
Baker, Nathan |
Balaz, Joe |
BAM |
Barber, Shannon |
Barker, Tom |
Barlow, Tom |
Bates, Jack |
Bayly, Karen |
Baugh, Darlene |
Bauman, Michael |
Baumgartner, Jessica Marie |
Beale, Jonathan |
Beck, George |
Beckman, Paul |
Benet, Esme |
Bennett, Brett |
Bennett, Charlie |
Bennett, D. V. |
Benton, Ralph |
Berg, Carly |
Berman, Daniel |
Bernardara, Will Jr. |
Berriozabal, Luis |
Beveridge, Robert |
Bickerstaff, Russ |
Bigney, Tyler |
Bladon, Henry |
Blake, Steven |
Blakey, James |
Bohem, Charlie Keys and Les |
Bonner, Kim |
Booth, Brenton |
Boski, David |
Bougger, Jason |
Boyd, A. V. |
Boyd, Morgan |
Boyle, James |
Bracey, DG |
Brewka-Clark, Nancy |
Britt, Alan |
Broccoli, Jimmy |
Brooke, j |
Brown, R. Thomas |
Brown, Sam |
Burke, Wayne F. |
Burnwell, Otto |
Burton, Michael |
Bushtalov, Denis |
Butcher, Jonathan |
Butkowski, Jason |
Butler, Simon Hardy |
Butler, Terence |
Cameron, W. B. |
Campbell, J. J. |
Campbell, Jack Jr. |
Cano, Valentina |
Cardinale, Samuel |
Cardoza, Dan A. |
Carlton, Bob |
Carr, Jennifer |
Cartwright, Steve |
Carver, Marc |
Castle, Chris |
Catlin, Alan |
Chesler, Adam |
Clausen, Daniel |
Clevenger, Victor |
Clifton, Gary |
Cmileski, Sue |
Coey, Jack |
Coffey, James |
Colasuonno, Alfonso |
Condora, Maddisyn |
Conley, Jen |
Connor, Tod |
Cooper, Malcolm Graham |
Coral, Jay |
Corrigan, Mickey J. |
Cosby, S. A. |
Costello, Bruce |
Cotton, Mark |
Coverley, Harris |
Crandall, Rob |
Criscuolo, Carla |
Crist, Kenneth |
D., Jack |
Dallett, Cassandra |
Danoski, Joseph V. |
Daly, Sean |
Davies, J. C. |
Davis, Christopher |
Davis, Michael D. |
Day, Holly |
de Bruler, Connor |
Degani, Gay |
De France, Steve |
De La Garza, Lela Marie |
Deming, Ruth Z. |
Demmer, Calvin |
De Neve, M. A. |
Dennehy, John W. |
DeVeau, Spencer |
Di Chellis, Peter |
DiLorenzo, Ciro |
Dilworth, Marcy |
Dionne, Ron |
Dobson, Melissa |
Domenichini, John |
Dominelli, Rob |
Doran, Phil |
Doreski, William |
Dorman, Roy |
Doherty, Rachel |
Dosser, Jeff |
Doyle, John |
Draime, Doug |
Drake, Lena Judith |
Dromey, John H. |
Dubal, Paul Michael |
Duke, Jason |
Duncan, Gary |
Dunham, T. Fox |
Duschesneau, Pauline |
Dunn, Robin Wyatt |
Duxbury, Karen |
Duy, Michelle |
Eade, Kevin |
Elliott, Garnett |
Ellman, Neil |
England, Kristina |
Erianne, John |
Espinosa, Maria |
Esterholm, Jeff |
Fallow, Jeff |
Farren, Jim |
Fedolfi, Leon |
Fenster, Timothy |
Ferraro, Diana |
Filas, Cameron |
Fillion, Tom |
Fisher, Miles Ryan |
Flanagan, Daniel N. |
Flanagan, Ryan Quinn |
Flynn, Jay |
Fortunato, Chris |
Francisco, Edward |
Frank, Tim |
Fugett, Brian |
Funk, Matthew C. |
Gann, Alan |
Gardner, Cheryl Ann |
Garvey, Kevin Z. |
Gay, Sharon Frame |
Gentile, Angelo |
Genz, Brian |
Giersbach, Walter |
Gladeview, Lawrence |
Glass, Donald |
Goddard, L. B. |
Godwin, Richard |
Goff, Christopher |
Golds, Stephen J. |
Goss, Christopher |
Gradowski, Janel |
Graham, Sam |
Grant, Christopher |
Grant, Stewart |
Greenberg, K.J. Hannah |
Greenberg, Paul |
Grey, John |
Guirand, Leyla |
Gunn, Johnny |
Gurney, Kenneth P. |
Haglund, Tobias |
Halleck, Robert |
Hamlin, Mason |
Hanson, Christopher Kenneth |
Hanson, Kip |
Harrington, Jim |
Harris, Bruce |
Hart, GJ |
Hartman, Michelle |
Hartwell, Janet |
Haskins, Chad |
Hawley, Doug |
Haycock, Brian |
Hayes, A. J. |
Hayes, John |
Hayes, Peter W. J. |
Heatley, Paul |
Heimler, Heidi |
Helmsley, Fiona |
Hendry, Mark |
Heslop, Karen |
Heyns, Heather |
Hilary, Sarah |
Hill, Richard |
Hivner, Christopher |
Hockey, Matthew J. |
Hogan, Andrew J. |
Holderfield, Culley |
Holton, Dave |
Houlahan, Jeff |
Howells, Ann |
Hoy, J. L. |
Huchu, Tendai |
Hudson, Rick |
Huffman, A. J. |
Huguenin, Timothy G. |
Huskey, Jason L. |
Ippolito, Curtis |
Irascible, Dr. I. M. |
Jaggers, J. David |
James, Christopher |
Jarrett, Nigel |
Johnson, Beau |
Johnson, Moctezuma |
Johnson, Zakariah |
Jones, D. S. |
Jones, Erin J. |
Jones, Mark |
Kabel, Dana |
Kaplan, Barry Jay |
Kay, S. |
Keaton, David James |
Kempka, Hal |
Kerins, Mike |
Keshigian, Michael |
Kevlock, Mark Joseph |
King, Michelle Ann |
Kirk, D. |
Knott, Anthony |
Koenig, Michael |
Kokan, Bob |
Korpon, Nik |
Kovacs, Norbert |
Kovacs, Sandor |
Kowalcyzk, Alec |
Krafft, E. K. |
Lacks, Lee Todd |
Lang, Preston |
Larkham, Jack |
La Rosa, F. Michael |
Leasure, Colt |
Leatherwood, Roger |
Lees, Arlette |
Lees, Lonni |
Leins, Tom |
Lemieux, Michael |
Lemming, Jennifer |
Lerner, Steven M |
Leverone, Allan |
Levine, Phyllis Peterson |
Lewis, Cynthia Ruth |
Lewis, LuAnn |
Licht, Matthew |
Lifshin, Lyn |
Liskey, Tom Darin |
Lodge, Oliver |
Lopez, Aurelio Rico III |
Lorca, Aurelia |
Lovisi, Gary |
Lubaczewski, Paul |
Lucas, Gregory E. |
Lukas, Anthony |
Lynch, Nulty |
Lyon, Hillary |
Lyons, Matthew |
Mac, David |
MacArthur, Jodi |
Malone, Joe |
Mann, Aiki |
Manthorne, Julian |
Manzolillo, Nicholas |
Marcius, Cal |
Marrotti, Michael |
Mason, Wayne |
Mattila, Matt |
McAdams, Liz |
McCaffrey, Stanton |
McCartney, Chris |
McDaris, Catfish |
McFarlane, Adam Beau |
McGinley, Chris |
McGinley, Jerry |
McElhiney, Sean |
McJunkin, Ambrose |
McKim, Marci |
McMannus, Jack |
McQuiston, Rick |
Mellon, Mark |
Memi, Samantha |
Middleton, Bradford |
Miles, Marietta |
Miller, Max |
Minihan, Jeremiah |
Montagna, Mitchel |
Monson, Mike |
Mooney, Christopher P. |
Moran, Jacqueline M. |
Morgan, Bill W. |
Moss, David Harry |
Mullins, Ian |
Mulvihill, Michael |
Muslim, Kristine Ong |
Nardolilli, Ben |
Nelson, Trevor |
Nessly, Ray |
Nester, Steven |
Neuda, M. C. |
Newell, Ben |
Newman, Paul |
Nielsen, Ayaz |
Nore, Abe |
Numann, Randy |
Ogurek, Douglas J. |
O'Keefe, Sean |
Orrico, Connor |
Ortiz, Sergio |
Pagel, Briane |
Park, Jon |
Parr, Rodger |
Parrish, Rhonda |
Partin-Nielsen, Judith |
Peralez, R. |
Perez, Juan M. |
Perez, Robert Aguon |
Peterson, Ross |
Petroziello, Brian |
Pettie, Jack |
Petyo, Robert |
Phillips, Matt |
Picher, Gabrielle |
Pierce, Curtis |
Pierce, Rob |
Pietrzykowski, Marc |
Plath, Rob |
Pointer, David |
Post, John |
Powell, David |
Power, Jed |
Powers, M. P. |
Praseth, Ram |
Prazych, Richard |
Prusky, Steve |
Pruitt, Eryk |
Purfield, M. E. |
Purkis, Gordon |
Quinlan, Joseph R. |
Quinn, Frank |
Rabas, Kevin |
Ragan, Robert |
Ram, Sri |
Rapth, Sam |
Ravindra, Rudy |
Reich, Betty |
Renney, Mark |
reutter, g emil |
Rhatigan, Chris |
Rhiel, Ann Marie |
Ribshman, Kevin |
Richardson, Travis |
Richey, John Lunar |
Ridgeway, Kevin |
Rihlmann, Brian |
Ritchie, Bob |
Ritchie, Salvadore |
Robinson, John D. |
Robinson, Kent |
Rodgers, K. M. |
Roger, Frank |
Rose, Mandi |
Rose, Mick |
Rosenberger, Brian |
Rosenblum, Mark |
Rosmus, Cindy |
Ruhlman, Walter |
Rutherford, Scotch |
Sahms, Diane |
Saier, Monique |
Salinas, Alex |
Sanders, Isabelle |
Sanders, Sebnem |
Santo, Heather |
Savage, Jack |
Sayles, Betty J. |
Schauber, Karen |
Schneeweiss, Jonathan |
Schraeder, E. F. |
Schumejda, Rebecca |
See, Tom |
Sethi, Sanjeev |
Sexton, Rex |
Seymour, J. E. |
Shaikh, Aftab Yusuf |
Sheagren, Gerald E. |
Shepherd, Robert |
Shirey, D. L. |
Shore, Donald D. |
Short, John |
Sim, Anton |
Simmler, T. Maxim |
Simpson, Henry |
Sinisi, J. J. |
Sixsmith, JD |
Slagle, Cutter |
Slaviero, Susan |
Sloan, Frank |
Small, Alan Edward |
Smith, Brian J. |
Smith, Ben |
Smith, C.R.J. |
Smith, Copper |
Smith, Greg |
Smith, Paul |
Smith, Stephanie |
Smith, Willie |
Smuts, Carolyn |
Snethen, Daniel G. |
Snoody, Elmore |
Sojka, Carol |
Solender, Michael J. |
Sortwell, Pete |
Sparling, George |
Spicer, David |
Squirrell, William |
Stanton, Henry G. |
Steven, Michael |
Stewart, Michael S. |
Stickel, Anne |
Stoler, Cathi |
Stolec, Trina |
Stoll, Don |
Stryker, Joseph H. |
Stucchio, Chris |
Succre, Ray |
Sullivan, Thomas |
Swanson, Peter |
Swartz, Justin A. |
Sweet, John |
Tarbard, Grant |
Taylor, J. M. |
Thompson, John L. |
Thompson, Phillip |
Ticktin, Ruth |
Tillman, Stephen |
Titus, Lori |
Tivey, Lauren |
Tobin, Tim |
Torrence, Ron |
Tu, Andy |
Tustin, John |
Ullerich, Eric |
Valent, Raymond A. |
Valvis, James |
Vilhotti, Jerry |
Waldman, Dr. Mel |
Walsh, Patricia |
Walters, Luke |
Ward, Emma |
Washburn, Joseph |
Watt, Max |
Weber, R.O. |
Weil, Lester L. |
White, Judy Friedman |
White, Robb |
White, Terry |
Wickham, Alice |
Williams, K. A. |
Wilsky, Jim |
Wilson, Robley |
Wilson, Tabitha |
Woodland, Francis |
Young, Mark |
Yuan, Changming |
Zackel, Fred |
Zafiro, Frank |
Zapata, Angel |
Zee, Carly |
Zeigler, Martin |
Zimmerman, Thomas |
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Ashes
and Dust by Janet Hartwell I
struggle to breathe in the frozen, gray air. Sandy is holding my hand, gently encouraging
me to continue. We run and then walk for a long time before we stop and rest. I am so cold,
tired, and weak, I want to sleep, but Sandy will not allow me. Sandy tells me to try not to think about
the horrors of the past two weeks, the man grabbing
me off my bicycle, tossing me into his van. Sandy tells me to think about my mom and my
cat. Sandy knows I will see them again. I need to keep going. Sometimes,
Sandy carries me and tells me stories. Her stories are about little children
overcoming great adversity, becoming people who feel safe, simply because they are who
they are. We are looking for a road. I want to stop and
rest again, but Sandy says no, he will come after us as soon as he realizes we are gone. Sandy
helps me climb up a steep, slippery embankment and then lifts me over a
snowbank plowed against the guardrail. She tells me that when a vehicle comes up the road,
we must jump up and down and wave our arms to get attention, to get help. When headlights finally approach, we hop around, shout, and wave. The
car stops. Sandy drapes her necklace around my neck,
holds my cheeks in her hands, and kisses my forehead. An
older man approaches with an alarmed look on his face. Sandy steps away. The abduction was two decades ago, when I was ten. I went to the
convenience store to get candy, and I ended up over a thousand miles away. The police never
caught the man who grabbed me. They never found Sandy, or any evidence of her. They say the
man who abducted me gave me the necklace, or I found it along the way. I have
discussed Sandy with therapists. I tell them she was seventeen, had blonde hair, and was
from California. They tell me my mind created Sandy
to help me cope with extreme danger, calling it Third Man syndrome, or bicameralism. I
show them the necklace, and they try to identify the material. My Grandma believes Sandy was an angel. My mom says she was the best
imaginary friend ever. A psychic told me that Sandy
was the spirit of another victim. The woman who babysat me after school said Sandy sounded like the
teenager I wanted to become. I can still see her smile and hear her gentle
voice saying, "You're such a good girl!" I think about her every day, and I always wear
her necklace. It appears I live a normal life.
I've had boyfriends, hung out with girlfriends, and
joined bowling teams. My relationships seldom last long. They intensify my longing for
something I cannot identify. I wake
up one day, and I cannot find the necklace. I panic and rip the house apart, looking for
it. I cry when I finally locate it. I walk past a mirror, and I glimpse Sandy
looking out at me. I make
up my mind to go back to that forest. I request vacation time, and I leave. A couple of days later, I drive along the
road where the elderly couple found me and locate the point where they believed they
picked me up. I know this is not the correct spot. I
drive further until I feel a wave of relaxed knowing,
then I park the car and walk into the woods. I hear a stream and walk toward it, then I
see a group of boulders, and I know which way to head. I am aware of someone else being in the forest,
near me, shadowing me, but I feel safe, not because I am who I am, but because I
have a Glock 19. I walk
for hours before I come to his cabin. I crouch behind some blackberry
bushes and study the thin smoke escaping the stovepipe. I hear the door open, and I watch
him step out. I remember the hair and sneering facial expression. I stand, and I empty the Glock into his chest
and his crotch as I walk closer to him. He sinks to the ground and rolls on his back. I
look down at his death face, and I feel complete as Sandy steps inside me, and
my lips move when Sandy says, "You're such a good girl." I pull the necklace from my neck and watch
it turn back into ashes, dust, and tears in my hand. Janet Hartwell
lives near the Rocky Mountains with her dog and cat. She enjoys reading
short stories and flash fiction, and was recently published in Shotgun Honey. Janet is also an AFOL (adult fan of Lego) and occasionally
travels in an RV.
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In Association with Fossil Publications
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