Yellow Mama Archives

Julian Manthorne
Home
Adair, Jay
Adhikari, Sudeep
Ahern, Edward
Aldrich, Janet M.
Allan, T. N.
Allen, M. G.
Ammonds, Phillip J.
Anderson, Fred
Anderson, Peter
Andreopoulos, Elliott
Arab, Bint
Armstrong, Dini
Augustyn, P. K.
Aymar, E. A.
Babbs, James
Baber, Bill
Bagwell, Dennis
Bailey, Ashley
Bailey, Thomas
Baird, Meg
Bakala, Brendan
Baker, Nathan
Balaz, Joe
BAM
Barber, Shannon
Barker, Tom
Barlow, Tom
Bates, Jack
Bayly, Karen
Baugh, Darlene
Bauman, Michael
Baumgartner, Jessica Marie
Beale, Jonathan
Beck, George
Beckman, Paul
Benet, Esme
Bennett, Brett
Bennett, Charlie
Bennett, D. V.
Benton, Ralph
Berg, Carly
Berman, Daniel
Bernardara, Will Jr.
Berriozabal, Luis
Beveridge, Robert
Bickerstaff, Russ
Bigney, Tyler
Blackwell, C. W.
Bladon, Henry
Blake, Steven
Blakey, James
Bohem, Charlie Keys and Les
Bonner, Kim
Booth, Brenton
Boski, David
Bougger, Jason
Boyd, A. V.
Boyd, Morgan
Boyle, James
Bracey, DG
Brewka-Clark, Nancy
Britt, Alan
Broccoli, Jimmy
Brooke, j
Brown, R. Thomas
Brown, Sam
Bruce, K. Marvin
Bryson, Kathleen
Burke, Wayne F.
Burnwell, Otto
Burton, Michael
Bushtalov, Denis
Butcher, Jonathan
Butkowski, Jason
Butler, Terence
Cameron, W. B.
Campbell, J. J.
Campbell, Jack Jr.
Cano, Valentina
Cardinale, Samuel
Cardoza, Dan A.
Carlton, Bob
Carr, Jennifer
Cartwright, Steve
Carver, Marc
Castle, Chris
Catlin, Alan
Centorbi, David
Chesler, Adam
Christensen, Jan
Clausen, Daniel
Clevenger, Victor
Clifton, Gary
Cmileski, Sue
Cody, Bethany
Coey, Jack
Coffey, James
Colasuonno, Alfonso
Condora, Maddisyn
Conley, Jen
Connor, Tod
Cooper, Malcolm Graham
Copes, Matthew
Coral, Jay
Corrigan, Mickey J.
Cosby, S. A.
Costello, Bruce
Cotton, Mark
Coverley, Harris
Crandall, Rob
Criscuolo, Carla
Crist, Kenneth
Cross, Thomas X.
Cumming, Scott
D., Jack
Dallett, Cassandra
Danoski, Joseph V.
Daly, Sean
Davies, J. C.
Davis, Christopher
Davis, Michael D.
Day, Holly
de Bruler, Connor
Degani, Gay
De France, Steve
De La Garza, Lela Marie
Deming, Ruth Z.
Demmer, Calvin
De Neve, M. A.
Dennehy, John W.
DeVeau, Spencer
Di Chellis, Peter
Dillon, John J.
DiLorenzo, Ciro
Dilworth, Marcy
Dioguardi, Michael Anthony
Dionne, Ron
Dobson, Melissa
Domenichini, John
Dominelli, Rob
Doran, Phil
Doreski, William
Dority, Michael
Dorman, Roy
Doherty, Rachel
Dosser, Jeff
Doyle, Jacqueline
Doyle, John
Draime, Doug
Drake, Lena Judith
Dromey, John H.
Dubal, Paul Michael
Duke, Jason
Duncan, Gary
Dunham, T. Fox
Duschesneau, Pauline
Dunn, Robin Wyatt
Duxbury, Karen
Duy, Michelle
Eade, Kevin
Ebel, Pamela
Elliott, Garnett
Ellman, Neil
England, Kristina
Erianne, John
Espinosa, Maria
Esterholm, Jeff
Fabian, R. Gerry
Fallow, Jeff
Farren, Jim
Fedolfi, Leon
Fenster, Timothy
Ferraro, Diana
Filas, Cameron
Fillion, Tom
Fishbane, Craig
Fisher, Miles Ryan
Flanagan, Daniel N.
Flanagan, Ryan Quinn
Flynn, Jay
Fortunato, Chris
Francisco, Edward
Frank, Tim
Fugett, Brian
Funk, Matthew C.
Gann, Alan
Gardner, Cheryl Ann
Garvey, Kevin Z.
Gay, Sharon Frame
Gentile, Angelo
Genz, Brian
Giersbach, Walter
Gladeview, Lawrence
Glass, Donald
Goddard, L. B.
Godwin, Richard
Goff, Christopher
Golds, Stephen J.
Goss, Christopher
Gradowski, Janel
Graham, Sam
Grant, Christopher
Grant, Stewart
Greenberg, K.J. Hannah
Greenberg, Paul
Grey, John
Guirand, Leyla
Gunn, Johnny
Gurney, Kenneth P.
Hagerty, David
Haglund, Tobias
Halleck, Robert
Hamlin, Mason
Hansen, Vinnie
Hanson, Christopher Kenneth
Hanson, Kip
Harrington, Jim
Harris, Bruce
Hart, GJ
Hartman, Michelle
Hartwell, Janet
Haskins, Chad
Hawley, Doug
Haycock, Brian
Hayes, A. J.
Hayes, John
Hayes, Peter W. J.
Heatley, Paul
Heimler, Heidi
Helmsley, Fiona
Hendry, Mark
Heslop, Karen
Heyns, Heather
Hilary, Sarah
Hill, Richard
Hivner, Christopher
Hockey, Matthew J.
Hogan, Andrew J.
Holderfield, Culley
Holton, Dave
Houlahan, Jeff
Howells, Ann
Hoy, J. L.
Huchu, Tendai
Hudson, Rick
Huffman, A. J.
Huguenin, Timothy G.
Huskey, Jason L.
Ippolito, Curtis
Irascible, Dr. I. M.
Jaggers, J. David
James, Christopher
Jarrett, Nigel
Jayne, Serena
Johnson, Beau
Johnson, Moctezuma
Johnson, Zakariah
Jones, D. S.
Jones, Erin J.
Jones, Mark
Kabel, Dana
Kaiser, Alison
Kanach, A.
Kaplan, Barry Jay
Kay, S.
Keaton, David James
Kempka, Hal
Kerins, Mike
Keshigian, Michael
Kevlock, Mark Joseph
King, Michelle Ann
Kirk, D.
Kitcher, William
Knott, Anthony
Koenig, Michael
Kokan, Bob
Kolarik, Andrew J.
Korpon, Nik
Kovacs, Norbert
Kovacs, Sandor
Kowalcyzk, Alec
Krafft, E. K.
Kunz, Dave
Lacks, Lee Todd
Lang, Preston
Larkham, Jack
La Rosa, F. Michael
Leasure, Colt
Leatherwood, Roger
LeDue, Richard
Lees, Arlette
Lees, Lonni
Leins, Tom
Lemieux, Michael
Lemming, Jennifer
Lerner, Steven M
Leverone, Allan
Levine, Phyllis Peterson
Lewis, Cynthia Ruth
Lewis, LuAnn
Licht, Matthew
Lifshin, Lyn
Lilley, James
Liskey, Tom Darin
Lodge, Oliver
Lopez, Aurelio Rico III
Lorca, Aurelia
Lovisi, Gary
Lubaczewski, Paul
Lucas, Gregory E.
Lukas, Anthony
Lynch, Nulty
Lyon, Hillary
Lyons, Matthew
Mac, David
MacArthur, Jodi
Malone, Joe
Mann, Aiki
Manthorne, Julian
Manzolillo, Nicholas
Marcius, Cal
Marrotti, Michael
Mason, Wayne
Mathews, Bobby
Mattila, Matt
Matulich, Joel
McAdams, Liz
McCaffrey, Stanton
McCartney, Chris
McDaris, Catfish
McFarlane, Adam Beau
McGinley, Chris
McGinley, Jerry
McElhiney, Sean
McJunkin, Ambrose
McKim, Marci
McMannus, Jack
McQuiston, Rick
Mellon, Mark
Memi, Samantha
Middleton, Bradford
Miles, Marietta
Miller, Max
Minihan, Jeremiah
Montagna, Mitchel
Monson, Mike
Mooney, Christopher P.
Moran, Jacqueline M.
Morgan, Bill W.
Moss, David Harry
Mullins, Ian
Mulvihill, Michael
Muslim, Kristine Ong
Nardolilli, Ben
Nelson, Trevor
Nessly, Ray
Nester, Steven
Neuda, M. C.
Newell, Ben
Newman, Paul
Nielsen, Ayaz
Nobody, Ed
Nore, Abe
Numann, Randy
Ogurek, Douglas J.
O'Keefe, Sean
Orrico, Connor
Ortiz, Sergio
Pagel, Briane
Park, Jon
Parks, Garr
Parr, Rodger
Parrish, Rhonda
Partin-Nielsen, Judith
Peralez, R.
Perez, Juan M.
Perez, Robert Aguon
Peterson, Ross
Petroziello, Brian
Petska, Darrell
Pettie, Jack
Petyo, Robert
Phillips, Matt
Picher, Gabrielle
Pierce, Curtis
Pierce, Rob
Pietrzykowski, Marc
Plath, Rob
Pointer, David
Post, John
Powell, David
Power, Jed
Powers, M. P.
Praseth, Ram
Prazych, Richard
Priest, Ryan
Prusky, Steve
Pruitt, Eryk
Purfield, M. E.
Purkis, Gordon
Quinlan, Joseph R.
Quinn, Frank
Rabas, Kevin
Ragan, Robert
Ram, Sri
Rapth, Sam
Ravindra, Rudy
Reich, Betty
Renney, Mark
reutter, g emil
Rhatigan, Chris
Rhiel, Ann Marie
Ribshman, Kevin
Ricchiuti, Andrew
Richardson, Travis
Richey, John Lunar
Ridgeway, Kevin
Rihlmann, Brian
Ritchie, Bob
Ritchie, Salvadore
Robinson, John D.
Robinson, Kent
Rodgers, K. M.
Roger, Frank
Rose, Mandi
Rose, Mick
Rosenberger, Brian
Rosenblum, Mark
Rosmus, Cindy
Rowland, C. A.
Ruhlman, Walter
Rutherford, Scotch
Sahms, Diane
Saier, Monique
Salinas, Alex
Sanders, Isabelle
Sanders, Sebnem
Santo, Heather
Savage, Jack
Sayles, Betty J.
Schauber, Karen
Schneeweiss, Jonathan
Schraeder, E. F.
Schumejda, Rebecca
See, Tom
Sethi, Sanjeev
Sexton, Rex
Seymour, J. E.
Shaikh, Aftab Yusuf
Sheagren, Gerald E.
Shepherd, Robert
Shirey, D. L.
Shore, Donald D.
Short, John
Sim, Anton
Simmler, T. Maxim
Simpson, Henry
Sinisi, J. J.
Sixsmith, JD
Slagle, Cutter
Slaviero, Susan
Sloan, Frank
Small, Alan Edward
Smith, Brian J.
Smith, Ben
Smith, C.R.J.
Smith, Copper
Smith, Greg
Smith, Elena E.
Smith, Ian C.
Smith, Paul
Smith, Stephanie
Smith, Willie
Smuts, Carolyn
Snethen, Daniel G.
Snoody, Elmore
Sojka, Carol
Solender, Michael J.
Sortwell, Pete
Sparling, George
Spicer, David
Squirrell, William
Stanton, Henry G.
Steven, Michael
Stevens, J. B.
Stewart, Michael S.
Stickel, Anne
Stoler, Cathi
Stolec, Trina
Stoll, Don
Stryker, Joseph H.
Stucchio, Chris
Succre, Ray
Sullivan, Thomas
Surkiewicz, Joe
Swanson, Peter
Swartz, Justin A.
Sweet, John
Tarbard, Grant
Tait, Alyson
Taylor, J. M.
Thompson, John L.
Thompson, Phillip
Thrax, Max
Ticktin, Ruth
Tillman, Stephen
Titus, Lori
Tivey, Lauren
Tobin, Tim
Torrence, Ron
Tu, Andy
Turner, Lamont A.
Tustin, John
Ullerich, Eric
Valent, Raymond A.
Valvis, James
Vilhotti, Jerry
Waldman, Dr. Mel
Walker, Dustin
Walsh, Patricia
Walters, Luke
Ward, Emma
Washburn, Joseph
Watt, Max
Weber, R.O.
Weil, Lester L.
White, Judy Friedman
White, Robb
White, Terry
Wickham, Alice
Wilhide, Zach
Williams, K. A.
Wilsky, Jim
Wilson, Robley
Wilson, Tabitha
Woodland, Francis
Woods, Jonathan
Young, Mark
Yuan, Changming
Zackel, Fred
Zafiro, Frank
Zapata, Angel
Zee, Carly
Zeigler, Martin
Zimmerman, Thomas
Butler, Simon Hardy

Laying Blame


By Julian Manthorne

 

Cecil tilted his head out the driver’s side window and felt the wind run its invisible fingers through his bushy hair. The road was empty, had been for hours now, and the land around him was flatter than a token penny from a tourist trap press. Here and there thin shrubs fought for life, but mostly there was just the desert.

Cecil didn’t mind the flatness or the monotony. He had mastered the art of sorting through and switching cassettes without looking away from the road a long time ago. One tape finished, and he put in a cassette with ‘Mixtape No. 5’ written on the sticker in blue pen. In the backseat, his only good suit flapped and fluttered. He had forgotten a suit cover, he realized, and then decided it didn’t matter so much after all.

He took his foot off the gas and let his machine coast. His car had always served him well, but more than that he liked it because it seemed to have personality. It always idled high, riding 1200 rpm even after a full day of driving. Cecil liked this because when he took his foot off the brake the car would push forward like a horse that was anxious to trot. He had to hold down on the brake, really push down, to calm the beast. It took a little extra gas to get this furiosity, but he paid the price without a complaint.

He looked in the back seat to check on Addie, the baby. She was still wrapped up in her yellow fleece blanket, and still sound asleep. There was a little smudge of red on the left side of her chin. I can clean that off when we stop, Cecil thought, resting his elbow on the windowsill, and cupping the back of his neck. The vibration of the car rattled through his shoes, and it made him feel safer. It’s going to be okay, he thought, trying not to think about the fight, and how Sara had screamed at him, making the girls hide in their rooms. He thought he could hear them mumbling in there, maybe praying. She had gotten a knife from the drawer and told him to leave, and he had tried to reason with her. His eyes started to water with memory, but he clamped his jaw. Can’t cry, have to drive, he thought, and sniffled and blinked his way through the next two songs.

There was an orange pill bottle rolling around on the floor of the passenger seat among some crumpled envelopes. He wanted to pick up the pills, it was way past the time he should have taken one, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the road with the kid in the backseat, and his whole life.

He had known something was wrong as he pulled up the car, nothing looked out of the ordinary, but he had a bad feeling in his gut. Cecil walked down to the mailbox, and was swarmed by crumbled letters that had been stuffed in until the door would just barely close. They were all from Sara going out to different people she had in her red leather address book: her mother, her sisters and brothers, Cecil’s mother and father, people that he worked with and people that she volunteered with. He took them out of the box, and making sure that no one was watching him from the house, tossed them through the open window into the passenger seat of the car. When they were out of his hands, he tore one open. It was a typed page, and obviously one of many copies that had been painfully retyped over and over.

To whom it may concern,

It takes all the courage I have to write you this letter, but you should know that Cecil Burrowitz is a lying cheating scoundrel who is not even good enough to go to hell. He cuts me and hurts the children and I can’t take it anymore. Someone needs to kill Cecil before he kills me or the babies.

Cecil’s eyes widened as he read on down the page, until he couldn’t read anymore. Tears ran down his cheeks and he felt like that horrible feeling in his stomach had swallowed him up.

He looked at the car, longing to climb inside and leave, letting the past eight years roll off his shoulders like Sisyphus throwing off his burden. He thought of his daughters, in there with a dangerous woman who looked like their mother, and ascended the stairs.

“You don’t love me!” Sara wailed, as the tip of the knife swam in front of his chest.

“I do love you, but this isn’t you.” he said, with both hands up in surrender. She had that gleam in her eye, the kind that she got when she blamed him for the scars that she had cut. “I don’t know why I let you do this to me.” she would muse absently as she traced her index finger down the long red lines, and he would make himself twenty minutes late for work, explaining that she had made the cuts herself, and she never believed him. This time, her pills were dissolving in the steel kitchen sink, and all his soothing hadn’t been enough. She bared her teeth and made a wild noise like the engine of his car, a rumble of impatient rage, and she lunged at him, taking a slice out of his shoulder, and sending him to the floor. There was a tiny squeak down the hall, as a bedroom door opened about an inch and a half to show the edge of a tiny face. Sara brandished the knife like a fencer, and saw the one scared eye looking back at her. Simone was watching the blood running down the sleeve of her father’s white work shirt. Summoning more courage than sense, she ran out of the bedroom and crouched next to him, putting her tiny worried face less than an inch from his nose. Cecil tried to push her back down the hallway, but Sara grabbed Simone by the back of her shirt and…

He winced, as he remembered the feeling of hot blood coating his shoes and slacks, the horror of seeing the still-writhing guts spill out of your own child. The police would never believe it had been self defense, the best he could hope for was criminally insane. The blood had dripped on his floor mat and stained his cushion seat. An hour down the highway, the smell had grown so strong that he became nauseated.  He pulled over and changed into his suit, minus the socks and tie, and stuffed the bloody rags in a two inch gap between a rusting overpass and the cement walls that held it up. He used a stick to push the bundle further in, so that someone would need to shine a flashlight straight on it in order to see it. He laid a woolen emergency blanket across the stain on his seat. As an afterthought, he grabbed the knife, which was covered in red from the end of the handle to the tip of the blade, and pitched it into the gap too.

      Addie was asleep when he got back in the car, and that was good. He tuned into a jazz station and turned the radio down low so he wouldn’t wake the baby. He drove north on the 104, stayed on it all night. He wasn’t sure exactly where he was going, but it felt good to put the miles behind him.


Julian Manthorne is a 24-year-old writer from Nova Scotia, Canada. He has been writing most of his life and works hard every day to continue to develop his writing skills. “Laying Blame” is his first published story.

In Association with Fossil Publications